Ep. 99/ How to Be Less Nervous When Speaking & Perfect Your Pitch: Matt Abrahams of Think Fast Talk Smart
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If you want to learn how to communicate better, be less nervous when public speaking and pitch more effectively - this is your episode. From handling public speaking, to winning over people on zoom, Matt Abrahams, Professor at Stanford Graduate School of Business, host of the award-winning Think Fast Talk Smart podcast is bringing all his communication expertise!
You will learn:
Easy tips to be better at impromptu speaking: meetings with clients, elevator pitch, public speaking.
Tips to manage anxiety when public speaking
A simple yet effective way to craft a pitch that hooks people
2 structures that will make your public speaking improve
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If you want to learn how to communicate better, be less nervous when public speaking and pitch more effectively - this is your episode. From handling public speaking, to winning over people on zoom, Matt Abrahams, Professor at Stanford Graduate School of Business, host of the award-winning Think Fast Talk Smart podcast is bringing all his communication expertise!
You will learn:
Easy tips to be better at impromptu speaking: meetings with clients, elevator pitch, public speaking.
Tips to manage anxiety when public speaking
A simple yet effective way to craft a pitch that hooks people
2 structures that will make your public speaking improve
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MATT’S LINKS:
Kim (00:02):
If you get nervous when public speaking or impromptu speaking, you feel anxious when you have to be put on the spot, you have to listen to this episode. Matt Abrahams the host of Think Fast Talk smart podcast joins us.
(00:16):
Welcome to the Exit interview with Kim Rittberg. Do you work for yourself and want to supercharge your business while still having fun? Well, this is your go-to podcast part MBA Part Cheer Squad. Every week I'll be joined by top business owners who share the secrets to their success. After I found myself working during childbirth true story, I quit my executive media job to bet on myself fighting the fear and imposter syndrome to eventually earn six awards, an in-demand speaking career and features in Fast Company and Business Insider. Now, I'm here to celebrate all you rock stars betting on yourself, and I want to help you win. Tune in every Wednesday to hear from remarkable founders and don't miss our Solo Friday episodes, a treasure trove of video and podcasting mini masterclasses with me. Exit the Grind, enter success on your own terms. Don't forget to subscribe today and grab my free video tips at my website, kimrittberg.com.
(01:18):
Today we're talking about communication and I wanted to let you know about a very special thing coming up that I'm offering called a VIP Thought Leader Package. It is a VIP photo and shoot date in New York City where you walk away with three to six month worth of content and it's paired with an on-camera messaging package. But not just that, it is an opportunity to show the world how amazing you are. A lot of times we have this on social media and this in a pitch somewhere, but we don't have that place that tells people cohesively. Here's who I am, here's why I'm awesome. For clients, for speaking engagements for the press, these are the materials you really need to elevate and amplify your message. So connect with me. You can apply in the link in the show notes, or you can go to kimrittberg.com and drop me a note and we'll connect. There are only five spots and it is in mid-May in New York City, so do not delay. We only have five spots left and I hope to connect with you about our VIP day.
(02:11):
If you want to learn to communicate better, be less nervous from public speaking and pitch more effectively, this is your episode from Handling Public Speaking to Winning Over People on Zoom. Matt Abrahams host of the award-winning Think Fast Talk Smart podcast is bringing all his communication expertise. You're going to learn tips on how to manage anxiety when public speaking, simple, easy advice to be better at impromptu speaking, like client meetings, elevator pitches, public speaking, plus a simple yet effective way to craft a pitch that hooks people and two structures that will make your public speaking much better. I wanted to give you a little more about Matt because he's really impressive. He is a passionate, collaborative and innovative educator, author, podcast host and coach. He is the Larson Lamb family lecture in organizational behavior at Stanford University's graduate school of business where he teaches two very popular classes in strategic communication and effective virtual presenting.
(03:03):
He received Stanford GSBs alumni teaching award and recognition of his valued service to teaching Stanford alumni around the world. In addition to his teaching, Matt is much sought after as a keynote speaker and a communication consultant for Fortune 100 companies. His online talks garner millions of views and he hosts a popular award-winning podcast called Think Fast, talk Smart. He's especially interested in applying communication knowledge to real world issues. And in service of his goal, he published Speaking Up Without Freaking Out. Now in his third edition, it's written to help people present and communicate in a more confident, connected and compelling manner. So I know you talk so much about impromptu speaking and how to help people not just feel more comfortable, but actually do it really well. Could I ask you for our audience, what are some of your top tips for people in those stressful situations?
Matt (03:52):
Sure. First and foremost, everybody can get better at their in the moment speaking, be it answering questions, giving feedback, making small talk. A lot of us feel like we're either born with the gift of gab or we're not. And in fact you can work on it, but it takes some preparation and this is another one of these counterintuitive ideas that you can actually prepare to be spontaneous. So what does that mean? First and foremost, we need to manage our anxiety. Many of us get nervous in these circumstances and there are very specific things we can do to make ourselves feel less nervous. My first book I wrote was called Speaking Up Without Freaking Out all about how to manage anxiety. So we have to get that under control and I'm happy to share more ideas, but there are things we can do next. We have to remind ourselves that communication, spontaneous in particular, spontaneous communication is about connection, not perfection.
(04:41):
Many of us want to do these things, right? We want to give the right answer, the best feedback, be the most interesting in small talk, when in fact it's really about just getting it done. When we put that pressure to do it right, to memorize our ideas or to really plan in depth, that means part of our brain is actually evaluating and judging ourselves as we're communicating, and that gets in the way of us actually connecting. So we need to turn that volume down. We also need to see these situations as opportunities, not threats. Many of us when we have questions coming at us, get very defensive. So when we see these as opportunities to collaborate and grow and expand, that helps. And then the last thing we need to do is we need to leverage structure so that our responses aren't just itemized lists, they are actually logical responses to what's happening. So by managing anxiety, focusing on connection, seeing these as opportunities and leveraging structure, we can all get better at speaking in the moment.
Kim (05:41):
I'd love for you to dig more into the angle of anxiety. And by the way, speaking of what you were saying about connection, not perfection, I teach people how to be on camera comfortably, and I have a two take max rule. You cannot spend more than two takes generously. Three, it's worse. It's more uncomfortable. You're worried more about memorizing it, and the truth is you're going to be more relatable and more connected if you just speak naturally. And so I think people get so in their head that they feel they need to be perfect, that it ends up making it worse. It end up making you a worse video.
Matt (06:12):
Absolutely, yes, I agree. I recommend something very similar to people where do it once or twice and then take a break, and if you need to do it again, come back. So this notion of getting in a pattern and memorizing, you're absolutely right, 100% agree with you. So anxiety is something that looms large in all communication. Most people get anxious and high stakes communication, be they planned or spontaneous, and we can do things to manage that anxiety. We have to take a two-pronged approach. We have to manage both symptoms and sources. Symptoms are the things that we physiologically experience, our rapid heart rate, our shake hands, the sweating and perspiration, and then sources are the things that initiate and exacerbate it. So let me give you just two techniques for each. The single best thing we can do for the physiological symptoms we have is deep belly breathing, the kind of breathing you would do if you've ever done tai chi or yoga where you really fill your lower abdomen.
(07:09):
And interestingly enough, the magic happens on the exhale, not the inhale. So if you make your exhales twice as long as your inhale, you maximize the impact, then you only have to do two or three of these. And there are other things we can do to reduce the shakiness, the dry mouth, all of that. So there's a lot of resources that I have in my book and on my website, Maddie perhaps.com, that are very specific to managing anxiety sources symptoms. But the sources we also have to address are classic source is the goal we're trying to achieve. When we communicate, we have a goal, but many of us are made nervous that we won't achieve that goal. So in order to short circuit, we have to become present oriented because a goal is really a future state. So if it's making us nervous as a potential negative future outcome by becoming present oriented, we can reduce them.
(07:59):
And how do we become present oriented? Do something physical, walk around the building, have a conversation with somebody before you do it, listen to a song or a playlist like an athlete would do count backwards from 100 by a challenging number like 17. These are always to get you present oriented. So we can manage symptoms and sources to reduce the anxiety we feel and reduce the anxiety that we show our audiences. And in so doing, we will feel more confident and they will be less distracted. So these are things we can do to better ourselves in these circumstances.
Kim (08:33):
Well, those are so helpful. And then in the moment, so let's say we use the advice to actually manage the anxiety about being in these situations. And actually I want to ask you, what are the top situations in which these are applicable to that people get really stressed about?
Matt (08:48):
Well, people get stressed anytime they're put on the spot. But the things that really seem to challenge people are when the audience one that is more knowledgeable or has some kind of decision-making power over the person like an interview or a promotion. It also has to do often with the size of the venue. So if it's in person, the number of people in the room. Another big anxiety provoking situation is when we're virtual and we can't see or read our audience in the way that we would like to. There are many, many things that cause anxiety, but those are some of the big ones.
Kim (09:20):
Yeah, I had a call the other day and three people were all faceless and just me, and that was a pitch. I was like, wow, this is really, and I made a joke about it. I'm like, I'm going to look up your faces on LinkedIn. I can't see anyone. And it was really, I had had this happen before and that time I was like, oh my God, how do I pitch this with no feedback loop? There's literally no feedback loop, and it's really hard. But once you do it a few times. So my next question was once someone's managing that anxiety piece of it, which I loved your tips earlier, when they're actually in it, in that moment of speaking, whether it's on a stage or in small talk or on Zoom, when you're in it and you're still feeling that nervousness in the moment, are there tips to say confidence tips or ways to keep your threads so you're not kind of losing your tangent? What would you recommend for in that moment?
Matt (10:09):
Yeah, so a couple things there. One is to remind yourself that you're there in service of your audience, you have value to bring. Many of us get in our own heads and we start listening to that negative we have. Whenever you communicate, you are in service of your audience, and often you're invited to speak or people want to hear from you, and reminding yourself of that puts that spotlight on your audience, not on you. And that can make us feel better. So when I'm speaking, I feel like, oh no, something's not going right, or I wanted to say this versus that. Just remind yourself, one, the audience doesn't know what you wanted to say. They only know what you did. Say.
(10:44):
Two, you're in service of their needs. So you're bringing value. And then the things that will really help people stay on track is if in advance of going in, they use a structure or leverage a structure. So in the moment, if you ask me a question, I will likely answer in a structure. And what that structure does is it provides me a map, a roadmap, so I don't get lost. The one structure everybody's familiar with, if they know it or not, is problem, solution, benefit. If you've ever seen a television ad, you've seen this structure, they start by saying some issue, challenge or problem, how their product or service fixes it. And the benefit you get if you're pitching an idea or business, use the same structure, here's this problem or challenge, here's how I help you solve it, and here are the benefits to you. That structure helps you from getting lost. You can't be lost if you have a roadmap.
Kim (11:34):
And is that the structure you recommend basically for pitches, whether you are pitching an idea to your boss or you're pitching yourself or a promotion, it's the problem, solution, benefit, idea.
Matt (11:42):
Well, so there are a couple structures that I like to use for pitching. One is that, and sometimes you reframe the problem to be an opportunity. So it's not that anything's wrong, but things could be better. So it could be opportunity, solution benefit. There's a four step structure that I love for quick pitching, and it's just simple sentence starters that you finish. What if you could, so that for example, and that's not all. So let me demonstrate how this works, Kim, give me some product or service you'd like me to pitch. And in the spot on the moment, I'll pitch it for you. Using this structure, it just has to be something I know
Kim (12:18):
I'm going to pitch you my services, my strategy services to make you a greater thought leader.
Matt (12:24):
Good. So what you're going to do is you'll pitch to me instead of me pitch to you. So I'll just walk you through it. So finish this sentence. What if you could
Kim (12:32):
Be on stages across the entire world teaching people about your area of expertise
Matt (12:38):
So that
Kim (12:41):
More people can become comfortable in their own skin when speaking in situations and you become the number one expert in the world on this?
Matt (12:50):
Great. For example, so this is where you give an example of a client that you've worked with. For example.
Kim (12:55):
For example, my client Marissa was an employee engagement consultant and parenting coach. And after working with me, she got Fortune 500 speaking gig, and she landed two clients and a podcast interview all from working with me for just a month.
Matt (13:10):
And that's not all.
Kim (13:11):
And that's not all you will, where is what is in the, that's not all.
Matt (13:19):
So that's not all is, and what this will do is set you on a career path that it will open up other opportunities. And that's not all I'll be able to. Yes.
Kim (13:28):
Oh, I love that. That's not all, it's not just about speaking, but this framework of positioning you as a thought leader, we'll bring in clients, we'll bring in speaking opportunities, we'll bring in writing opportunities, everything you're hoping for to amplify and elevate your message, to achieve your goals.
Matt (13:42):
There you go. So that structure actually helps you in the moment put together a coherent pitch and it sets you up for success if you actually have time to plan it out. What if you could is what hooks people in and any good communication needs to hook people. So that is the relevance piece. And what we know from long, long decades of research is the more relevant something is, the more people listen to it. The, for example, grounds it in reality so people really understand it. And that's not all says this has legs beyond this particular interaction. It goes on to something more. So it's a really useful tool for pitching in the moment quickly, just like problem, solution, benefit can be useful when you have time to plan out your presentations.
Kim (14:27):
I love that. And I also think sometimes one thing that I work on that I actually even think this could work in, I have a how to pitch yourself in 30 seconds. A method that I teach about, just get right into it. If you're having wine with people or you're in an elevator, you can use it. But I like even the problem solution benefit. I actually think even if you can't plan it, you could still use that. If someone's like, I'm really struggling, or you're just like, oh, what's going on in your business? And they're like, everything's good, but I'm struggling with that. And you're like, oh, this is the problem. I'm like, actually, here's the solution. So I even think just that simple thing, even without advanced planning can still work in the moment, which is great. I love it as a structure.
Matt (15:04):
Great. Yeah, no, it really works. Having these structures and frameworks I think is the unlock to helping people communicate more effectively in all of their communication. It doesn't mean you always use it, but it means you know where to start if you need it.
Kim (15:18):
I love the simplicity of the what if. So that for example, that's not all I feel like I could fill that out for other things. It takes a little bit of work like where am I getting you? But then the answer is, if you can't show someone where you're taking them, you need to do more work on your project or your service. If it's really hard to fill it out, you need to do more digging.
Matt (15:39):
And what I recommend for teams is if a team of salespeople are going out to sell, I say, get around the table, have all of you walk through how you would pitch in that structure and then notice where you're not consistent. It's not that everybody has to say it exactly the same way, but what people find is that there are discrepancies in how they're pitching and they have to all focus on what's the most important. So it's a tool not only to inform yourself if you need more work, but if you're in a team, it helps you really get some consistency. So it works really well.
Kim (16:10):
Amazing. Matt, this was so fantastic. I'm conscious of your time. I know you had a busy day and I stole you from the car and the this and the breakdown. Here we are. I really appreciate your time.
Matt (16:21):
Thank you. It was wonderful to talk with you and it's great to be with somebody who does similar work and all the best.
Kim (16:27):
Yeah. Thank you so much.
(16:32):
Thank you for joining us. Don't forget to exit the grind and enter success on your own terms. This is the exit interview with Kim Rittberg. Don't forget to grab my free download, how to Grow Your Business with Amazing video at kimrittberg.com and linked out in the show notes. I love to hear your feedback. Make sure to submit to me what you learned from the show and how you are crushing it on your own terms. Connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn at Kim Rittberg, R-I-T-T-B-E-R-G. And this show is edited by Jillian Grover and produced by Henry Street Media. I'm your host and executive producer Kim Rittberg.