EP. 16 / Beating the odds, manifesting a new career, and embracing motherhood - How Erin Washington juggles it all and still makes time for happy hour PLUS business tips
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RETURNING TO WORK AFTER A CAREER BREAK
Have you ever felt pushed beyond your breaking point? Do you find yourself striving for perfection, regardless of the cost? Or like no matter how much you love your kids, your parenting skills are constantly being judged?
Erin Washington’s life was defined by her eating disorder for over a decade until she was finally able to overcome its hold on her. Now—whether it’s being a mom, fitness, or happy hour—she’s all about balance. Find out how Erin finally grew to accept and love her body, how she manifested her incredible podcast Squats and Margaritas mid-pandemic, how adding ‘podcaster’ on top of being a stay-at-home mom is impacting her relationship and her struggles with delegating! Erin’s key advice: “if you’re feeling a little bit unfulfilled, there is something else out there for you.
LISTEN BELOW! And don’t forget to ‘follow’ and leave a rating & review!
Show Takeaways
In this conversation with Erin you’ll learn:
How her whole life was wrapped up in her soccer career—until it wasn’t. And how quitting affected her relationship with her body.
The ways her eating disorders started affecting every area of her life
How she learned to acknowledge and deal with her unhealthy obsessions
Her advice for new podcasters and a breakdown of how she’s monetized her show
How her adding ‘podcaster’ on top of being a stay-at-home mom impacts her relationship
How she is working hard to delegate more
Takeaways from our guests - Erin Washington:
Erin Washington on the advice she’d give her past self: “It's okay to be not okay. I tried to come to the office having it all together, I wouldn't post pictures where there was a mess. Like, ‘My son looks so cute, but the mess in the background…’ Nobody's house is perfect. Nobody.”
Erin Washington’s advice for women who aren’t meeting the fitness goals they’ve set for themselves: “Get off the cardio machine. Women are “supposed” to do their cardio. The men are in the weight room—you don't want to get “bulky.'' There was such a stigma about bulking up… If I lifted, it would be super low weights because I didn't want to bulk up. But when you put muscle on your body everything changes. The muscle is the most metabolically active tissue that you have. The more muscle you have, the more you're burning—even when you're not working out.”
Leadership Coach Leah Wiseman Fink’s Top 3 Tips for Entrepreneurs
1 - Decide what you're going to do - figure out your next step.
2 - Be resilient - you need to be able to stomach the waves. Understand that there's an ‘up’ around the corner even when you’re in a low point
3 - Find your people. Find your business bestie or your teachers and mentors
Leadership Coach Leah Wiseman Fink quotes:
“Understand that the money is out there. The clients are out there.”
“Money is not like an ugly dirty topic. Ask your friends what they charge, tell what you charge, troubleshoot, to match your pricing with the right clients and the work that you do.”
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EPISODE LINKS:
-Erin on Instagram | Listen to Squats and Margaritas | Squats and Margaritas Website
Emily Hay of Hay There Social Media
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Erin Washington (00:02):
My brand came out of thin air. And we're both trying to adjust to our new normal where I have a lot more on my plate that I said I would not have, cuz I was just gonna be a stay-at-home mom.
Kim Rittberg (00:16):
What happens when you're intending to be a stay-at-home mom, but suddenly you become a brand and you start hosting a podcast, Erin of squats and margaritas tells us what it's been like for her and how she's struggling to delegate. Now that she has more on her plate. Plus leadership coach Leo Weisman think has tips for entrepreneurs on how to figure out your path, find your tribe and find clients.
Leah Wiseman Fink (00:39):
One thing to understand is that, um, you have the ability to make the kind of money you want. So like the money is out there.
Kim Rittberg (00:51):
Leave your lanyard and swipe card at the door. Welcome to mom's exit interview, a podcast for mom's seeking fulfillment and contentment outside the traditional nine to five, whether you're considering taking the leap or you're already mid-air, this podcast is for you. You'll meet moms who are consultants, entrepreneurs stay at home moms with side hustles and part-time workers across various industries and levels. Plus every episode will have experts with tips so you can turn your inspiration into action. I'm Kim Rittberg. I was a Netflix executive and former head of video at us weekly and I'm a mom of two. I quit the corporate world and I've never looked back, but I'm still on this journey. So join me. We don't need a boss to give us permission or a promotion to lead the lives we want.
Kim Rittberg (01:46):
Thank you so much for listening and please send feedback about what you wanna hear more of. I appreciate every single note. I'm gonna be reading them out in the shows. And I love hearing from you, unlike in an office, when someone says they have feedback and you're like, Ugh, and you're muscles clench. It's the opposite. I love feedback here on the podcast. Don't forget by the way, to follow the show and leave a review in a five star reading, it helps it get to more people. And we have a newsletter, my little fingers. I'm a nail biter, to be honest, my little fingers type very quickly on the keyboard to get you all the tips and takeaways from each episode. And I send that out weekly. So sign that up. The very last thing before we get to the podcast, if you like the podcast, you probably think I'm a pretty good producer, right?
Kim Rittberg (02:30):
Maybe you follow me on social and you like my videos. Well, in my day job, I help companies and professionals be better on camera and make awesome content to help grow their business. And I have a newsletter with super easy tips on that. So check out my site, www.kimrittberg.com. All right, today, one of the things that you're gonna hear pop up in our conversation is delegating. I finally took an actual vacation from running my business. I like really turned off I wasn't on social and I did new client work and it was glorious. I realized, I think I sort of started delegating. Delegating is something I have definitely struggled with in my business. Uh, when I was working for a company working at corporate, I was leading a team of 17 people in media. I became a very good delegator over time. I hired the right people to do the right tasks and I generally didn't do the things that I wasn't best at or didn't suit me.
Kim Rittberg (03:23):
Uh, so Rebecca Minkoff, she was a guest on the show and she had a great tip. If you haven't listened to the epi episode, definitely go back and listen to it. Her tip was delegate. Anything that isn't the best and highest use of your time working for someone else. I was great at that, but now I work for myself. And the question of when I should hire someone like when is it more helpful for me to bring on help versus doing it myself? Because you have to train somebody and you have to explain to 'em how you like it done the idea of investing money before, you know, you'll get a return on it is sometimes hard, but if you don't, you can't scale your business. So all to say, I have done better. I brought on some people to help me with social media, to help with some of the blog posts for this.
Kim Rittberg (04:02):
Do you struggle with delegating? Let me know, DM me on Instagram, drop me a note on the website. Mom's exit interview.com and delegating is something I talk about with our guests today, Erin Washington, it's one of the many things. Um, we talk about cuz her life has sort of taken a different path in the past few years and she is adjusting to that. Erin has an incredible story. She was a serious athlete. She played soccer in high school and in college and for over 20 years, struggled with eating disorders, but she didn't tell anyone. Now Erin is a lifestyle blogger and she hosts the podcast, squats and margaritas. Anna is home with her kids too. She wrote the book, squats and margaritas, a journey to finding balance. She's all about living life with balance, thus squats and margaritas. Yep. Squats for your abs and margaritas for, you know, you know, Margarita's report.
Kim Rittberg (04:50):
I personally like mine classic on the rocks. Erin talks about fitness cocktails. Parenting Erin's path is very, very interesting in our chat. She talks about finding a healthy way of existing, how she overcame her eating disorders, her path from stay at home mom to podcast host. Plus she only ever envisioned being a stay at home mom. And so did her husband. So as her business and podcast and brand has grown, she'll tell you how that's impacted her relationship with her husband and how she's working on delegating. More to find more balance. I asked Erin to tell me a little bit more about her life growing up.
Erin Washington (05:26):
I grew up in Ohio and I was the oldest of four girls and all four of us ended up playing division one soccer in college. Um, but none of my younger sisters were like as obsessed with it as I was, I am obsessive and everything had to be perfect. Um, and I think like growing up, it looked like it was a positive thing. It's like, oh, Aaron's so driven. That's so great. But then it can kind of take a left into something dangerous. And for me, um, I put everything into soccer and ended up not seeing a lot of playing time in college and I kind of quit on a whim and I was like, well, this isn't fair. Um, I'm gonna quit. And when I lost that identity that I had thrown everything into, I fell into depression. I struggled with multiple eating disorders. And again, that perfectionism, like I had to be thin, I had to be, I was homecoming queen. I was prom queen. I felt like I had to uphold that. And like, I didn't want anybody to know really what was going on on the inside <laugh> and everything I was struggling with
Kim Rittberg (06:25):
After quitting the soccer team in college, Erin struggled profoundly with her mental health.
Erin Washington (06:30):
I mean 10 years, I struggled with anorexia bulimia depression. Um, and I didn't talk to anyone about it and definitely was going to my grave with it. And
Kim Rittberg (06:41):
So did the eating disorders, did they start in high school? Did they start in college?
Erin Washington (06:45):
They started in high school. Um, again for me like soccer was everything and for me thin meant like fit and good for soccer. So it was like the thinner, the better, the faster I could run at 15, my body started changing and I gained weight. And like that was not gonna work for soccer. I was like, oh, absolutely not. So I drastically reduced my calories. Um, I remember there was a point where I wouldn't eat carrots because they were a starchy carbohydrate. I would only eat green vegetables. I would come home from school and make myself take a nap. Um, cuz it was like time that I wasn't eating
Kim Rittberg (07:18):
As her eating disorder progressed. Erin found herself dealing with a form of exercise, bulimia, something she says is far more common than people realize
Erin Washington (07:26):
If you were working out to undo calories, which is what I used to do. That's an eating disorder. Like you can work out to feel good. And I know some people that do that, but for most of my life, I worked out to undo the food that I ate. And it's actually like a very unhealthy way to look at it. Um, it doesn't work. It's not an, uh, calories in versus calories out equation, which is super frustrating. Cuz I feel like that's what women are taught. That's
Kim Rittberg (07:51):
What we've all been taught. Like you're saying this I'm like, but I'm so confused that one nutritionist and all of these weight loss companies, like they say, here are the points for this amount of food and here's how many, you know, you're burning 300 calories in one hour doing biking. So that's equal to that small piece of cake. Like that's literally how I see the world. So you're saying that's completely wrong.
Erin Washington (08:11):
You're seeing the world that way. Cuz that's what women are taught. And it's not fair because that's how I try to, I try to cancel out everything I ate when you are not eating enough to fuel your body, your body thinks it's starving. And it holds on to everything.
Kim Rittberg (08:25):
After 10 years of struggling, Erin was finally able to overcome her disordered eating habits. I asked her what it was that finally brought her out of it.
Erin Washington (08:34):
Well, I got to the point where I wasn't, so it's we like an eating disorder. I clearly, when I was writing down my calories and working them off when I was throwing up my food diagnosed, like those are eating disorders, but when I wasn't doing those things anymore, I was still living with like everything had to be, have you heard of orthorexia? It's like, you're obsessed with like nutrition, like ingredients, the nutrition, facts and everything has to be clean. I would, I wasn't throwing up my food, but for, I don't know, maybe 10 years after I stopped doing that, it was like cardio every single day. Um, only eat salads. I snack, I don't do snacks. Like it was all about calories at the end of the day. Like how many did I hit? And I was obsessed about that. So it wasn't a diagnosed eating disorder, but I was doing that for another 10 years.
Erin Washington (09:22):
And there was a come to Jesus moment when I was doing that, that I stopped and began living the lifestyle that I do now, a trainer at my gym was like, you're so frustrated. Like, you know, what is the problem? And I was like, yeah, I work out seven days a week. I barely eat and I never lose weight. And he's like, yeah. He's like, cuz your body is starving. You need to eat more. And I'm like, okay, like you're telling me who has been throwing up my food and wouldn't need carrots. I need to eat more to lose weight. And he was like, you need to trust me. He's like, your body is starving. You need to reset your metabolism. It's called reverse diet, reverse dieting. And at that point I was like, what else do I have to lose? So that moment where I was like, okay, I started eating a ton more like every couple hours I turned on my metabolism and I finally started to lose weight.
Erin Washington (10:11):
So that was the moment I don't, I don't have like a moment that I stopped, like abusing my body. But that was a moment when I stopped the overexercise the restriction because it doesn't work. And I had to write a book to the woman who was still on the treadmill for an hour, seven days a week, which was me. Couldn't pay me to take a day off, only eats salads and whose body is starving because she's under fueling it. And over exercising, there is a different way and it's eating more. It's putting muscle on your body. And I have to share it with the woman who was me 10 years ago, 20 years ago,
Kim Rittberg (10:46):
You offer tips and motivation to women who are working out, but not seeing results. What are your tips? What are your tips for those women?
Erin Washington (10:54):
Get off the cardio machine. Um, another thing that I feel like we just like calories and versus calories out it's like women are supposed to do their cardio. The men are in the weight room. Like you're not, you don't wanna get bulky. Like there was such a stigma about like bulking up. And I had it, like if I lifted it would be like super low weights because I didn't wanna bulk up. Um, when you put muscle on your body, like everything changed for me. It's the muscle is the most metabolically active tissue that you have. The more muscle you have, the more you're burning. And even when you're not working out, you're wasting your time with cardio. We have more muscle. You have, the more you can eat, the more your body will burn at rest. And honestly it's lifting heavier. Like if you're shying away from, uh, the heavier weights, cuz you think you're gonna bulk your body's not gonna do that naturally.
Erin Washington (11:39):
And the bodybuilder lady that you're picturing in your head right now eats a very specific diet to look like that. Um, I didn't have tone in my arms until I started lifting much heavier. I would say drink a ton more water than you think. Even if you think you drink a lot of water, um, hydration is such a huge aspect. Sometimes you think you're hungry, but you're not keep your body hydrated, put muscle on your body and eat often. If your body is giving you a cue that you're hungry eat, but there's another cue when you're satiated stop eating. And some people miss that cue. If you take that moment to check in, am I still hungry? Most of the time I am. I'll keep eating.
Kim Rittberg (12:20):
I love the phrase, squats and margaritas. How'd you come up with that?
Erin Washington (12:23):
I remember like there was this day I was sitting at my kitchen table and I was like, I weigh 20 pounds less than I did when I was striving for this physical ideal. And now my life is like squats and margaritas. Like I enjoy my life. Like before a cocktail, I'd be like the, the carves, the sugar. I can't have wine. Like I was calculating and now it's like, nothing is off limits. If you just live in moderation and you make nothing off limits, it's almost like it's not as tempting or enticing as, as it was anymore. Like, I always give this example of like I used to eat and I'm putting in quotations cookies that were like high protein, low sugar cookies would
Kim Rittberg (13:02):
Eat those cookies, those cookies that are like a rock, but they're made of almond butter and, and, but mostly like almond flour, whatever, not a
Erin Washington (13:11):
Cookie. If fish tacos is on the menu, I am getting it and I'm getting it exactly how it's prepared. Avocado cheese, sour cream. They give you three or four. I will eat one. Take that second and check in. Never satisfied at one. So I'll eat another one. Check in again. I'm fine. I I'm I'm satisfied. So I'll take two home. What I would do before was I'd be like fish tacos, but no sour cream, no cheese guacamole on the side, I would eat all four because it was low fat. I didn't enjoy it. My brain is like, what the hell is this? It's like fish in a tortilla. But I was like, oh no, this is better. It's low carp. When your brain gets what you want, which is a fish taco. Exactly. As it's prepared, you can eat one and feel satisfied. You're not deprived. You got the fish taco. You didn't overeat. You ordered what you wanted on the menu. So you're not like feeling deprived and like you're gonna quit on this healthy lifestyle. This balance just works. It's like have your daily indulgences, don't eat a ton of it. Um, just use moderation if I want pizza, I get pizza, but I'll have like a piece.
Kim Rittberg (14:14):
I like the fish taco makes me laugh cuz it's like, your brain is like, I don't want steamed white fish. I know. And some shredded lettuce and a wrap. Um, I have a question. So coming from this where, so at age 37 at age 37, you had this come to Jesus moment and this life shift. Did you start studying nutrition or training or lifestyle or you just started sharing your experience as being a part of your platform?
Erin Washington (14:38):
I was 36. I was six months postpartum with my daughter. And again, as an athlete, I was I'm competitive and I used to do orange theory fitness. And when we showed up, like they would do these like popup challenges and like, luckily it was pop up because I would, I'm obsessed. I would obsess over it all night. If I knew there was a challenge the next day. So we get there and it's like the a mile challenge. And every class that day there's a class, every hour is gonna run this mile and they're gonna post it on the board, fastest mile on the gym and something. And that day I was like, I have to win. It was like my competitive nature came back and I ran that mile faster than anyone at the gym. I peed my pants because I had no business running that fast <laugh> after just having a baby.
Erin Washington (15:22):
But I was like, I just won this mile of the whole gym, just having a baby. And it was like, what else can my body do? And I started training with other moms. It was like, they, I had no excuse they're moms. They ran faster than me. They lifted heavier than me. I started booking my classes with them and just kind of pushing myself. And I write that too. Like if you think you're, you know, you do your workout, there's another level that you haven't even tapped into yet. It doesn't have to be an hour workout, but I work out hard now maybe 30 minutes, four days a week. And that has given me such better results than going in and doing my hour of cardio seven days a week. So yeah, I'm training at a higher level, but not as often. And it, it, my body change and it I've been able to maintain it cuz I know I put muscle on my body and that has changed everything for me. Exercise wise.
Kim Rittberg (16:17):
What we talk about on the show is how moms are finding fulfillment on their own terms. Yes. Like whatever that means to you. So before you started squats and margaritas, what were you doing for work?
Erin Washington (16:27):
I worked for an NFL team in broadcasting and then I married a player <laugh> so I had to leave <laugh> so cause
Kim Rittberg (16:34):
The conflict of interest
Erin Washington (16:35):
<laugh> there was a bit of a conflict. I had to interview him a couple times, but it was so funny Kim, cause I was like, I left so easily cuz I was like, we were in love. We've been together 17 years. I was like, I'm not going anywhere with this broadcast thing. Like it wasn't like I went to school for broadcasting and I stepped away. I just kind of, I was the girl and my boss would be like, go interview this person. And they were like more willing to talk to a 24 year old girl than a 50 something year old man. So I just was, I was comfortable ish on camera. I had my body issues, but I wasn't planning a career in it. And it's hilarious now that I have a show like <laugh>, cause I didn't see anything coming outta the broadcasting
Kim Rittberg (17:13):
Erin's entry into podcasting. Wasn't actually planned at all. It came about for her during the COVID lockdown. When she started doing a series of Instagram lives with different guests.
Erin Washington (17:24):
So it started out as the parenting advice and then it became like episodes. Like I have now I manifested a show just by being myself and being exactly like it. I, it wasn't an audition. Like I said, like I did what I wanted to do with no expectation of it going anywhere and I put it out there. So it's like just whatever you, if you're feeling kind of like there's something else, a little bit unfulfilled, I will say it for the other moms that feel like we shouldn't say that there is something else I'm telling you. There's something else. You don't need to know what it is yet. Look at your past. Anything that you've overcome, maybe you can teach something. It doesn't even have to be like my dark stuff that I came through. Maybe, you know how to sew, put it out there and then watch like what sticks. So people are like, oh my God, I never knew how to do that. Now you're teaching like a little zoom class and you found like value in something that you're providing to somewhere else.
Kim Rittberg (18:23):
If someone says, what do you do? Are you a stay at home mom with the side hustle? Are you a podcaster? Like how would you answer that question?
Erin Washington (18:30):
I'm embarrassed. I'd say I host squats and margaritas. Like I, I guess a mom should come first <laugh> oh, what I do?
Kim Rittberg (18:37):
There's no right or wrong answer. There's no, it's
Erin Washington (18:40):
What, honestly I it's my passion. Like I, I have an Instagram following and like I, everything that I want that to, anything I do on Instagram is to obviously attract a following. You wanna grow, but to find my show, like I put everything into the show. I'm so proud of some of the conversations that I've had with people on the show. And I wanna share this. Melissa Bernstein gave me the best advice. She is Melissa from Melissa and Doug. Um, the toys that every mom has in their home, her and her fiance started that before they were even married. Um, I was like, you have six kids and you built like the brand. How did you get over? Like the guilt? And she goes, you tell them what mommy does is very important and you are important. It's not more important, but you're important. And what mommy does is important.
Erin Washington (19:30):
And when I'm done with this, I will come and see you. And I was like, oh, I thought that that was like the wrong thing to do. She's like, you show them that you're making a difference. And she's like, your daughter, like don't you want her one day to have something that she's passionate about? And she's like, get over it, like get over the, I talked to Katie Kerick it was the same thing. I was like, you are hosting the today show you have two kids. I was like, I just feel like when I see my kids and she totally cuts me off, she's like, oh my God, no, get over that. She's like, they need to show like you, it was the same thing. And these are successful women. They're like, no, you matter too. And as long as your kids are like fed and clothed and don't like, get rid of the guilt, like you focus on your brand and they, both of them made me feel better about it. They're
Kim Rittberg (20:13):
It's normal to feel both of those things. We both love our children. And we also do things that fulfill us professionally, you know? And I think that that's, I don't know. I always think it's really important to remind people. I'm like, that's okay that
Erin Washington (20:24):
You're not alone. Yeah.
Kim Rittberg (20:25):
You're not alone. I fight it too. Oh my God. And I, I do the things. I feel like I've gotten better about being, self-aware like, that's my thing. I'm like, oh
Erin Washington (20:33):
Exactly. Without you made me think, Melissa Bernstein really quickly, she showed she's like, you have to have a transition. And she's like, what you're doing right now is literally, as soon as you hit stop, you walk out that door and your mom she's like, it can't be that she's like go for a walk. Or she said, when she was building her brand, she would, uh, take the train to Manhattan from Connecticut. She's like the train back was like decompression. And then I would be a mom. She's like, you have, you have no transition time. It's just like this and the mom. And that's why you're feeling so like frazzled, you have to take a time like walk, do something outside of the house and then go back into mom mode. And I just remembered that I, I need to live that. Yeah.
Kim Rittberg (21:12):
Anyway. So I think that, that, that's so awesome to hear, but I have to ask you, you're really funny. Like your social feed is really funny and it's not all just not just, I don't mean just, it's not all parenting tips or whatever, and then it's not all fitness stuff. It's kind of a mix. And I feel like you're really showing like your personality and your sense of humor. Did it take you a while to cultivate that and open it up and crack open? Like the personality into the feed? Or was it always there?
Erin Washington (21:38):
Like I thought I had to pick Elaine it's like, what are you? Are you parenting advice? Are you fitness? Are you cocktail recipes? But ultimately I was like, it's my it's life. The lifestyle of me, everything is, I'm a mom. I drink margaritas. I work out. It's like anything that I find funny or insightful, I share and hope that the women that follow or the men that follow me will find it funny or insightful. And if it's not, if they're not, which I also am really trying to do better at than I'm not for them. But
Kim Rittberg (22:10):
How so? I feel like everyone wants to know this. So when you're building a brand, how do you make money?
Erin Washington (22:16):
What I have found is I can get sponsors and they told me when they hired me, like at a podcast, whenever you need sponsors, that's how you make money. And they're like, it's gonna take a couple years. Like you have to like have a following. You have to like be able to show how many downloads. What I started doing is I used my Instagram. I only have an Instagram PLA like I obviously have other platforms, but nobody sees me there. Instagram is kind of like my bread and butter. So what I would do is if I found a relevant brand that I wanted to partner with, either as like sponsored content, like I'll make a reel for them or something that I'm really passionate about. If I really like the brand, I'll try to get 'em to sponsor the podcast and I would start just tagging them.
Erin Washington (22:55):
I would get the product tag them. Um, I would obviously they'd see how much I was posting and I would go, I actually like went for them. Like I, I didn't send, 'em like a pitch sheet. I didn't have, cuz I didn't wanna write down like how many downloads. I didn't really have a lot then, but I just hustled. And I would tag the crap outta that brand and I would make a reel with it when they weren't paying me to, until they would see me. And then as soon as they like, thanks so much for the support or something, I'd be like, Hey, actually I have a podcast. I would love to talk about how we could collab. And I ended up my first year I had three sponsors, two tequila companies and like a water. And I make my money now through podcast podcast, sponsorships, and then just social media. There are so many brands looking to partner with micro influencers. Don't think that you need to have a hundred thousand followers. I don't have that. And I make a pretty good, uh, living off of branded content on Instagram.
Kim Rittberg (23:52):
What do you attribute getting from like zero followers to 20,000? And then you were saying this past year you went from like 20,000 to 75. What do you attribute those like two things to,
Erin Washington (24:02):
So I've had some big guests on my show recently. Um, and I just a like a couple of real Housewives, um, Gabby Bernstein. I ask them to share the episode and they share it with their, if they're all over a million and you can get them to repurpose or I'll make, um, do you ever make, uh, somebody a collaborator on the post? Like I'll make a post and I'll say I invite Gabby or I invite, I had Teddy melancamp from real Housewives. Then she accepts and it goes to her, all her people, uh, Melissa, Joan Hart. I grew, oh my God, I don't even know the actress. She posted on her main feed. <laugh> the audiogram I did of my show. And I mean, like I got like 10,000 followers cuz she has like almost 2 million. So I have grown exponentially with the bigger guests that I've had when my guests share, uh, the show
Kim Rittberg (24:53):
And anything you wish you knew earlier looking back
Erin Washington (24:59):
Just that it's okay to be not. Okay. Like I, I tried to come off as, so having it all together. Like I wouldn't post pictures where it'd be like a, me, like my son looks so cute, but the mess in the background, I nobody's house is perfect. Nobody is dressed perfectly. Like I don't wear makeup anymore strategically. Like I don't want to, this is not, this is how I look. <laugh> like, I don't, you don't have to project this like made up persona. Like I have been able to grow, being authentic to myself. And I think if I would've known earlier, just do you. And that's what resonates. And like, those are the DS where people are like, oh my God, I, or I read a blog and people are like, I was with you the whole time. Like everything you're saying, feeling that like you're seen and you're not alone. If I had known it, would've been a lot easier of a road to get to where I finally have a little bit of a following. If I had known that earlier, just be you
Kim Rittberg (25:56):
Originally, you were home with your kids and now you started doing all these projects and you, you sort of have your own brand. How has that shifted to the di to dynamic in your marriage?
Erin Washington (26:05):
<laugh> how much time do you have? Um, so my brand came out of thin air and we're both trying to adjust to our new normal where I have a lot more on my plate that I said I would not have, cuz I was just gonna be a stay-at-home mom and Kim. I truly thought that that is what I wanted, but I, I felt unfulfilled. I felt like there was something else and I love what I'm doing now and I'm not gonna stop doing it, but there's been an adjustment, um, for how much more my husband has to take on for me to do this. And again, there was no planning. It wasn't like eventually you're gonna have to take on more cause I'm gonna gonna have this show came out of the blue and we're both adjusting to it. My husband supports me. It's just, uh, I have a lot more on my plate where he has to kind of pick up some more slack <laugh>
Kim Rittberg (26:55):
And for your house, like, does that mean your husband now has to do like more childcare, more food shopping, like a little bit more supportive of that when you're working on the brand?
Erin Washington (27:01):
No, it does not. <laugh> it means that I just put it all on my plate because I feel validated when I am able to cross off everything on my work, um, notebook as well as get everything done in the house. And I feel like if I'm gonna take this on, I have to not let anything else drop. And so I'm kind of burning myself out and I know that I need to do better and be more of a, I need to delegate more, but it's very hard for me to ask for help. I have a martyr thing. <laugh> where I can go to bed and be like, well, I had to do everything today, but it's almost like, do I want it another way? Cuz then I'll feel like I'm not contributing enough, which is psychotic to say, but this kind of like how I took it on, I still take on my duties around the house and I don't think I'm gonna be able to do that for much longer, but so far that's how I validate myself and feel like I am killing it as an entrepreneur, but still hitting the same, um, level of moming that I was before I took this on
Kim Rittberg (28:04):
<laugh>. Well, first of all,
Erin Washington (28:05):
In articulate,
Kim Rittberg (28:06):
Nah. Well thank you for being honest, I feel like a lot of people, when they're in transition shifting like two full-time work or shifting away from full-time work to being a stay-at-home mom, like there are all these things, like there's the finances, there's the shifting of roles. And so like why do you, you, you feel like you still have to do all the cooking and cleaning even though you're also have this brand and you're bringing in money from it,
Erin Washington (28:30):
I guess, because my husband's a breadwinner and I'm starting to bring in money from it and maybe it'll feel different when I, I mean, I I'm starting to make this a profitable business, but when I, especially when I first started, it was like this extra thing that I, I almost feel guilty and like, feel like, um, what's the word it's like, indulgent, like go take the kids so I can do my show. Like I get to sit and talk to fabulous women for an hour. Like I'm not working in the coal mines. Like I, my work is, is a fun thing for me to do. So it's like, I get to do this. That's how I look at it. I guess I get to do this. So I have to earn that by if I wanna do this, I'm not gonna let anything drop anywhere else. And I'm not really contributing financially. So my way of contributing slash validating myself and my worth is doing all the things. <laugh>
Kim Rittberg (29:18):
You feel like you can't, you don't even have like someone cleaning your house. You don't have,
Erin Washington (29:21):
I have someone cleaning clean my house once a month. Now it used to be every two weeks, but they, the every two weeks wasn't working out because I was like, what they're doing on the second clean, it was like a touch up clean is what I do anyway. And I'm like, I cannot pay someone to just do what you're doing when I do it anyway. So now we are down to once a month. Um, I know it's ridiculous, but I hear myself, Kim, like, I didn't need to delegate, but I like, maybe another mom feels seen that. Like you feel like if you're gonna take something else on, nothing else can drop. And it's like, if now I, I used to do the laundry and clean the house and make all the meals. But now I don't do any of those things. Cuz I have the show.
Erin Washington (29:57):
It's like the show is a negative brought into my marriage and my household. But as long as I'm still doing the other things, it's like, sure do your show. But it's like, now I do the show. I don't cook anymore. I'm gonna need you to watch the kids. I guess I don't want it to be a burden. And I'm kind of just processing this as I'm thinking. Like, I think that's what it is. Like I'm not gonna make it. I don't want it to be a, a burden on my household, on my marriage. My kids aren't seeing me as much. So I try to just be exactly what I was before and take this on. Even if that means I have to work after they go to bed, um, just not let anything drop <laugh>
Kim Rittberg (30:30):
What would you like to delegate out? You know, Rebecca UFF came on the show and she was like laundry, laundry. Okay. I
Erin Washington (30:36):
Don't like, I hate like full when taking outta the dryer, like folding LA, I just did a reel about this, like folding laundry for four people and just, um, sorting it. It never gets put away. It just stays in the baskets. Like I don't mind cooking. I don't love loading the dishwasher can a six year old do that. Dunno what things we should be doing a six year old can unload the dishwasher.
Kim Rittberg (30:57):
I think, except for the knives. I think, unless
Erin Washington (30:59):
What I pictured, I'm like there's kni in there. The
Kim Rittberg (31:02):
Knives and the glass. Yeah. Forget. Okay. Forget it. Mm. The six year old, the six year old can unload four bowls that are plastic from the dishwasher. Is that helpful? I don't know.
Erin Washington (31:11):
Take no cuz you know where I go in my head, I could do it much faster.
Kim Rittberg (31:15):
Okay. So is there a point at which you feel like you can delegate the things that you hate? Cause Rebecca, I can. She said, okay. Cuz re Minko said do only what's the best, best use of your time and the things that you're good at and enjoy and you hate laundry. So can I
Erin Washington (31:30):
Hate laundry and how is that a good use of my time? Anyone could do the laundry. That's not like it doesn't have to be done a cert. Well, I guess I say that maybe then I'll be like, it's not done a certain way. <laugh>
Kim Rittberg (31:38):
Do you think your husband would be supportive of you delegating out laundry and some of the cooking?
Erin Washington (31:43):
Honestly, yes. I don't. It doesn't bother him. This is so it's in your head,
Kim Rittberg (31:46):
In your head. Me
Erin Washington (31:47):
Not letting anything change. He would not. As long as it got done, he wouldn't care. Not at all. So this is, yeah, this is a great therapy session. How much do I owe you for the session?
Kim Rittberg (31:56):
Um, I'll bill you on Venmo. I'll me
Erin Washington (31:59):
Consider things. I always tell somebody else too, cuz you're right. He doesn't care. Why do I have to do all
Kim Rittberg (32:05):
The things? I, I do think we, as, as women, as moms, I feel like we put a lot on ourselves and I'm the same way. Like I do feel like I'm supposed to do certain things and when I can't do certain things, I'm really hard on myself and yes, I think a lot of us are hard on ourselves. Like I feel like every year my, one of my resolutions is like, be gentler to yourself. Be to
Erin Washington (32:26):
Yourself, grace.
Kim Rittberg (32:27):
I, I, I would never talk to my kids the way I talk to myself. I know ever. Yeah. Ever. So I think that, you know, it's important to like give yourself grace, you're doing a lot. And also like you should delegate out some of those things. I always like to say, I always made sure to, to, to hire a cleaning person, even when I had $30 or $50 every other week when I had no money living in New York, sharing a room, sharing a room, sharing an apartment with three people, my bed hit three walls. I earned no money. I still, that was the thing. My splurge, I hate cleaning. I'm not good at it. I don't wanna clean toilets. Everything else I'll do you know
Erin Washington (33:03):
The thing? It is like, I can afford it. That's how ridiculous this is. I can afford it. But then I won't feel like I'm contributing. I need to be in a mental institution. No, like I, my hear myself. It is ridiculous. It's ridiculous.
Kim Rittberg (33:15):
Okay. So my mom's in our house and she comes to me. She's she'll say this has happened many times. My mom is in our house. She'll come to me and she'll say, oh, I, I swept the floors. Um, I mopped the bathroom floors. Um, and I put away those five things. I'm like, okay. And then she'll say it again, like a week later. Oh, like I, I dusted that thing and I swept that floor and I'm like, okay. And then I'm like, she was
Erin Washington (33:37):
It. Thank you.
Kim Rittberg (33:38):
And then I'm like, mom, I don't mean this rudely. But like, do you want me to thank you because I can make a list of all the things I did today. I know. And it won't make your head spin. I'm like I bought the groceries. I unpack the groceries. I got the kids ready. I brushed their teeth. I drove them to camp. I came back from camp. I did all this work. I made these three calls,
Erin Washington (33:53):
Appointments like you, like, I love you.
Kim Rittberg (33:56):
Yeah. I'm like, I love you. And thank you for participating in our house, but you're also staying in our house. Yes. You're our guest. So I appreciate that. You're participating as a really, really good guest, but also I'm not gonna say thank you.
Erin Washington (34:06):
It's relative what you
Kim Rittberg (34:07):
Cause no one Thankss me cuz no one Thankss me. So, and I always say to someone when they're like gonna do something for me, I'm like, here's what I want you to do for me. And I also don't want any follow up questions.
Erin Washington (34:16):
Oh I like that. And I
Kim Rittberg (34:18):
Say nice way. I try to not sound it so mean. It sounds so mean, but I'm like, it's not a favor to me. If I have you do something. And then I get like four text messages with questions in a FaceTime video
Erin Washington (34:27):
That's thing,
Kim Rittberg (34:27):
Just do it. And I truly don't care. I love it. I don't care if the dress is red or blue. I don't care if the food is peanut butter and jelly or Turkey, I don't care where you go and I don't care what you do. Bring my kids back alive and happy. We're
Erin Washington (34:38):
Good. I need to ask. I need to be more that way. I need to let go.
Kim Rittberg (34:43):
Um, Erin, this is an amazing therapy session. Thank you for participating in Dr. Berg's therapy sessions. Mom's exit interview underscore slash oh sorry. Mom's exit interview slash therapy sessions. <laugh>
Erin Washington (34:53):
Please. Can I pay with a card online? Send me link <laugh>
Kim Rittberg (34:58):
For more on Erin, check out squats and margaritas. You'll find her podcast and her book there and so much more. That is all linked out in the show notes. And now we have leadership coach, Leah Weisman, Fink with tips for entrepreneurs on how to figure out what you're doing. Find clients and figure out what to charge Leah herself is an Exiter. She worked in education training principals and was an assistant principal until she was sort of pushed out of her job on maternity leave. She and her husband, Johnny also run a chain of pizzerias in New York city called Williamsburg pizza. And Leah is a leadership coach who helps entrepreneurs. So here are some tips. So Leah, you're a leadership coach and you work with a lot of entrepreneurs. What are your top three tips for entrepreneurs?
Leah Wisenan Fink (35:43):
Um, I really like how you frame that question. I think the top three tips are one just deciding. So just deciding what you're gonna do or like even what your next step is deciding. Um, two, I think is the resilience. So just being able to stomach the waves of entrepreneurship as in like things are going terribly and you don't know what you're gonna do and understanding that there's an up around the corner and even like you're at the top of the wave and you know, like you might have like the, not the best month, the next month or a couple of months, but understanding that it's gonna go back up and then third I think is finding your people. So I think that's finding like your, either your business bestie or your classes, coaching programs, teachers, mentors that really can like help guide you along the way.
Kim Rittberg (36:37):
I love, especially that last tip because before every job interview I would call my brother and my mom and I call them my pump up crew and they would make me feel really good about myself. So I'd go into an interview like full of confidence and excitement. But when you branch on your own, I a hundred percent agree with that, cuz I felt very isolated at first. But then I found a few people who were doing it, who were in that head space. And in that mind space, I think it's really hard to talk to your friends who are climbing corporate ladder about these things you're doing because it's not the same. And it's like, it's, I don't wanna say it's irrelevant, but it's just not the same as what they're going through. And it becomes a little harder to, to have that eye to eye. So I love, I love your idea, finding crew Leah in your coaching, what are the things that you see, people are stuck by? You know, they can't move forward because there's like this obstacle in their path.
Leah Wisenan Fink (37:23):
Yeah. Okay. So some of the things that I hear a lot that are blocking people, um, first this might seem obvious, but just fear of the unknown. Right? So you've been in and I was in, um, like nine to fives for the first, like 15 years of my career. So just like jumping out of that is scary. You don't know exactly what's on the other side. Um, I think a second thing is what we talked about. Like that 40 hour, like idea that you must have your, but a seat for 40 hours to be able to be doing the same quality of work or making the same money that you can and wait less time. And then I think third, lots and lots of money, mindset stuff. So I think, and here's where I get like a little bit. Woo woo. But I'm just gonna do it is like just like understanding that the money is out there, the abundance mindset, the like finding your right matches from what you charge to clients and, and it is a process it's a learning curve. I think, especially as entrepreneurs, when you stop getting that like weekly paycheck, you really have to work on that and improving it.
Kim Rittberg (38:33):
Why is that a new age? Like woo woo type of mentality. I mean, isn't that a traditional business thing that, you know, your perfect target client is out there and you just have to find them or be where they are. And if you think they're not adjust, adjust what you're doing. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? What, what makes that sort of, oh, that's sort
Leah Wisenan Fink (38:50):
Of more, I think just language honestly, like I think it's like charging what you're worth finding your ideal client versus like abundance mindset or money mindset. The truth is it's all the same stuff. Right? It's the same stuff I learned in leadership school. It's the same stuff I learned running schools. It's all the same stuff, but it's just like, you know what language you're using? Who are you talking to and what clicks for a certain person. So you can hear something, you can hear the same thing in 10 different ways and it didn't click the first nine and it clicked on the 10th.
Kim Rittberg (39:22):
Yeah. I think also sometimes like sometimes we could be horses with binders on, so we've met four people in the past year and they felt our prices were too high, so, mm, no, one's gonna pay that price. It's like, no, if you're getting 10 nos and three yeses, that's a great ratio. Anyone will tell you that's a great ratio, but so I think it's important, right? Like don't, don't lower your price find the right person. Or I liked your, you know, we talked about earlier that if someone can't pay your rate, see if you wanna do a 50% work and 50% fee, you're not changing your rate, but you're doing a smaller project. I like that idea. Cause I do feel like sometimes, sometimes when I, I think the idea of, oh, don't don't undercharge, but I do feel like everyone deserves to have a class or to find the right class for them or to find the right coach for them. Like when I was much earlier in my career, I took some classes, but I certainly didn't have the money that I now could invest in myself. So I like the idea of, well, we could do a group class or, well, we could do a smaller project and truly if it's not the right fit, there's a for every lid. Yep. <laugh> apart for every lid,
Leah Wisenan Fink (40:25):
For every
Kim Rittberg (40:26):
Whatever
Leah Wisenan Fink (40:27):
Client or every price point. I think that that's, you know,
Kim Rittberg (40:30):
A client at every price point. I know that in some of the coaching you do, you talk about money and talk to me a little more about what should people know about how to talk about money, how to price, how to adjust your mindset so that you are, I mean, making the money you want. Yeah,
Leah Wisenan Fink (40:44):
Absolutely. Um, I think there, we could, we could talk about this. Like we could do a whole nother interview on this, but there's a lot, I mean, I think one thing to understand is that, um, you have the ability to make the kind of money you want. So like the money is out there. The clients are out there. What we just said, like there is a client and a coach at every price point. And then I think another thing that you and I have talked about is, um, talking about money, right? Money's not like an ugly, dirty topic. It's like ask your friends what they charge, tell what you charge, um, troubleshoot, you know, the matching your pricing with the right clients and the work that you do. Um, so like it's, I think it's like taking, um, like the, the sheet off, right. And taking like the, the cloud of shame and just like putting it all on the table. I think that that's a really helpful like starting place.
Kim Rittberg (41:43):
I like that there has been a new conversation around money. I don't know how much louder it's gotten, but I remember several, several years ago there was sort of this bigger conversation about transparency at work and people being like, why is this person who sits next to me, does the same job as me earning $20,000 more than me. That's grossly unfair and possibly discriminatory, but who knows? Um, but I think that that conversation has just helped remind us their money is power and knowledge is power. So like ask people what they're charging and you know, Leah and I, we met for coffee and I just asked her, I was like, oh, what do you charge for your programs? And I asked another friend, um, and another person that I had a networking meeting with, and what's the worst. They say like, it's none of your business.
Kim Rittberg (42:21):
Or, you know, I'll tell you if you do a discovery call with me, but most people really are open about the prices. Like most people will tell you. And I think it really does help you realize your, what, what cohort you're with what cohort you're in. Like some people make money by charging thousands of people, a hundred dollars. Other people make money by having smaller clients, but charging tens of thousands of dollars. And it just depends where you are. What do you recommend to be in that right pool to find those right clients to hire you?
Leah Wisenan Fink (42:51):
That's a good question. Um, I think, I think it's about one putting yourself out there again and again and again, right. I think just like whether it is in person on the internet, over emails, via interviews or podcasts or whatever, like the more that you can be out there, the more people who can find you. And then I think secondly, and maybe this part should go first is just, you have to really, really believe that you have to really, really believe in your skill and your talents and that the right people are out there. Right. And that they will find you. And then it's the second part of like continuing to put yourself out there and like letting them, letting them find you, giving them ways to work with you. Right. And also like in, like I said, it was always one on one work and now I'm doing a group, right. And soon I'm gonna do a retreat. So there's gonna be like more ways to work with me. And maybe at some point there will be like, just like an evergreen lower ticket program. I don't know. But then like people have way more options.
Kim Rittberg (44:00):
Right? I think that's smart. Right? You can, some people say, oh, the riches are in the niches and that's fine. Or you do one offering. But for some people it works have one main offering and two secondary ones for others. It's like only one for others. It's five. Like whatever works for you. Um, Leah, this was so helpful, really excited that people are gonna, I feel like people are gonna get a lot of value at
Leah Wisenan Fink (44:19):
This show. Thank you for asking me to do it,
Kim Rittberg (44:22):
To connect with Leah, check out her site, Leah Weisman, fink.com, which will be linked out in the show notes. This real mom moment comes from Emily a Hey, she founded, Hey there, social media, which teaches moms a transferable skill to become a social media manager, Emily and her husband were in the fair play documentary. How cool is that? It's based off of Eve Brodsky's best selling book. And here's what she had to say about it.
Emily (44:51):
I'm Emily, a hay and professionally. I'm the founder of, Hey, there's social media. We teach a proven training program that gives moms a transferable skillset as a freelance social media manager in just six weeks personally, my husband and I shared our journey in the fair play documentary based off Eve Brodsky's New York times, best selling book like so many women, I felt I was literally doing everything in my home. But through the process of filming, I learned not to be proud of doing it all, doing it all is not sustainable. And everyone loses in the process. I was burning out, not enjoying all the things on my plate. And I was physically stressed all the time. I was short changing. My husband, who is very capable of caregiving duties, believe it or not. And I was modeling unhealthy behavior for my two daughters. I was showing them through my actions that they too have to do it all. And it stopped me in my tracks as a champion for work life integration. I teach women work systems that allow them to specialize and thrive professionally. Now I'm grateful for this new perspective to not be proud of doing it all because it gets in the way of my husband and I striving for a more fair home.
Kim Rittberg (46:16):
Thank you so much for listening. We wanna hear from you tell us what topics you want us to cover and what questions you have for upcoming shows and experts. We will read everyone and we will use them. You can find us everywhere, go to www.kimrittberg.com, scroll down to find the contact button, or you can DM me on Instagram at Kim Rittberg, or you can leave your feedback right inside your review in the podcast app. Please follow the show in apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen and leave review in a five star rating. And don't forget to share it with people who will find it valuable. It's truly meant to be a resource. And this is mom's exit interview. I'm your host and executive producer, Kim Berg. The show is produced by Henry street media. John Horowitz is our editor and Aliza. Friedlander is our producer and publicist.