Ep.63/ On Working With Jessica Alba and Being a ‘Cool Mom’: Lizzy Mathis
SHOW NOTES:
Please leave a rating and review for the show!
++++++++++++++++++
Lizzy Mathis is co-hosting the new Roku show Honest Renovations with her best friend Jessica Alba - and shares the craziest thing to happen on set, what it means to be a ‘cool mom,’ how to get out of that phase where and has some self-care tips that go farther than ‘light a candle.’ We have a blast and you will too!
Lizzy Mathis started The Cool Mom Co. - an all inclusive, diversity driven hangout destination for moms. I was nervous - am I cool? Lizzy Mathis declares we are all cool by default (I’ll take it!) and is here to remind us to put ourselves first, reignite the passions we may have left behind.
LISTEN BELOW! And don’t forget to ‘follow’ and leave a rating & review!
Click below to Follow, Review & Give a 5-star rating to Mom’s Exit Interview Podcast.
How do you find yourself when you've given so much to your family? How do you reconnect with those passions?
Lizzy Mathis is co-hosting the new Roku show Honest Renovations with her best friend Jessica Alba - and shares the craziest thing to happen on set, what it means to be a ‘cool mom,’ and has some self-care tips that go farther than ‘light a candle.’ We have a blast and you will too!
Plus, Lizzy declares we are all cool by default (I’ll take it!) and is here to remind us to put ourselves first and reignite the passions we may have left behind.
In this episode you will learn:
Pursuing passions and finding your voice
The burden of expectations on women and mothers
Learning to say no and prioritize time wisely
Follow host Kim Rittberg on Instagram
Subscribe to Kim's YouTube Channel to Make Better Videos that Convert
FREE DOWNLOAD: Pitch Yourself in 30 Seconds! Click here
How To Be A Happier, Less Stressed & More Successful Parent: Click here!
EPISODE LINKS:
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:
Kim (00:01):
How do you find yourself when you've given so much to your family? How do you reconnect with those passions? Our next guest, Lizzie Mathis, talks about real self-care and what it's like to be best friends with Jessica Alba and the chaos behind the scenes of their new TV show on Roku called Honest Renovations. You're going to love her. It is a fun episode. Don't skip this one.
(00:22):
This is Moms Exit interview, the show for moms who want to craft the career and life they want. Each episode, you'll meet inspirational moms across various industries and levels who are working and living life on their own terms, and they'll bring you actionable tips from finance to business development to happiness, to crushing that imposter syndrome. I'm Kim Rutberg. I was a burnt out media executive at Netflix, US Weekly and in TV news. I wanted a career where I was fulfilled at work but present at home with my kids. So I started working for myself and I love it, but not every day was easy or is easy. I wanted to explore with all of you how other moms were creating careers on their own terms. They're carving out flex jobs, starting their own businesses. They're taking back control. Join me and make work, work for you instead of the other way around.
(01:26):
Alright, what have you been doing this summertime today with our guests? We're talking about remembering who we are and were as cool moms. She says, actually, we're all cool, which I love. I have to say, this is the first summer I've actually gotten to really summer as a verb, the first summer since Covid, the very first summer my dad passed. So it was just a really challenging summer. Lots of crying, lots of beach walks, lots of looking through photo albums, reaching out to people from seventh grade to remember and having them not email me back. Anyway, back to what I was talking about. Then last summer I launched this podcast and the beginning of a project is always really hard, so I worked a lot harder than I had anticipated. So this summer I committed to being outside, swimming, biking, taking walks, and just listening to the bird's chirp.
(02:17):
So it has been fantastic. I'd like to know, do you push yourself to have me time in the summer or is it all family time and camp drop offs and pickups? Drop me a line, you know where to find me. And right before we get to Lizzie Mathis, it is almost the fall. So you're gearing up for your business. Hit September running, drop me a line if you're interested in growing your client base with video and podcasts, that's my jam. As you know, this is my podcast. I spent 20 years in media at Netflix and TV News, and I've won six awards, and now I turn you from professional to thought leader through video and podcasts. Plus I'm really fun. So fun. My contact is Kim Rittenberg, r i t t b e R g, on Instagram, on my website. Just drop me a note. Our next guest, Lizzie Mathis, is the founder and editor-in-chief of the Cool Mom Co. It's an all-inclusive, diversity driven, digitally native destination for moms and moms to be. Lizzie's. Also host of the new show on Roku called Honest Renovations with Jessica Alba, who happens to be her best friend. Lizzie's also going to be coming out with a podcast very soon, and let's get into it. Lizzie, I am so excited to have you here with me.
Lizzy (03:23):
I'm excited to be here.
Kim (03:25):
I feel like this now officially means I'm a cool mom because you are on my show. So I'm a cool mom
Lizzy (03:30):
By default. You are definitely a cool mom by default. Don't even no questions asked.
Kim (03:35):
Not by default. I'm talking to you just in life by default.
Lizzy (03:38):
No, just in life by default. By you birthing a child, having a child, raising a child any way you got to have a child. You are a cool mom.
Kim (03:46):
Actually, right before you got on the call, I was like, what's that weird smell? I open our oven. I cooked bacon two days ago, three days ago, and it's been sitting in the oven. So I was like, that's not a cool mom move. I should be more on top of my life.
Lizzy (03:59):
That's the ultimate cool mom move because that means that you have so many things going on that you literally have forgotten about the simplest thing of bacon in your oven. That's cool. Mom status.
Kim (04:08):
You're too nice, Lizzie. It's really, it is because we had a bunch of friends over this weekend and we made them bacon, so you're right. It was related to having fun. So speaking of cool, mom, tell me what does it mean to be a cool mom?
Lizzy (04:18):
I mean, it means just that I think cool mom, for me, it was never about like, Ooh, she's so cool. What is she doing? It was more about just owning the fact that you were this intersection of motherhood and womanhood, and that's where the site was really born for me. I just felt like when I became a mom, I lost a little bit of me and it took me a second to get back to the things that I loved doing and loved being, and just the activities I enjoyed or the hobbies I had, or just even that focus that I feel like I had before becoming a mom. And so I think it's just about owning that space in life and that's what makes you a cool mom.
Kim (04:58):
I love that point of getting yourself back. I do think a lot of us struggle with, okay, cool, I'm leaning in, I'm parenting. We're like the first generation to use parenting as a verb, but okay, I'm leaning in to my kids. I'm parenting, and then, oh, what about all these things that made me cool or different or unique, confident or arty or musical or kind, whatever. Where did those things go?
Lizzy (05:22):
Yeah,
Kim (05:23):
Look, what have you found?
Lizzy (05:24):
Yeah, when you say parenting too, we're the first ones to use it as a verb. Honestly, I remember my mom parenting, my mom was a single mom. She had three children, and I remember her just literally, her focus was us. Yes, she worked, so she was very busy, but as soon as she stepped back into the house, she was parenting nonstop. And I think I recall that, and I remember how everything was just about her kids, our happiness, the things that she had to do. She was constantly coming in the house. She had to make dinner, wash clothes, get us situated, do her homework, blah, blah, blah. It was just nonstop. And I think that for me, I wanted to be more than just my children. I wanted to be able to blend the world of I am a multifaceted human being and woman, and I wanted to make sure that my kids also saw that.
(06:14):
And so for me, it was about, it was about showing all the little parts of me, like you said, interested in art and fashion and beauty and working. I love working. And there was just little parts of me that I was just like, okay, listen, I have to get back to that. And when I first had my daughter, my oldest, I lost it. I just lost it. I was literally zoned in only on her. I was like, it's all about her. This is my life now. It's all about what she needs, what she wants. And of course, in new motherhood, that's what happens. You're, you're worrying about how they eat and are they sleeping and what does their poop look like, and all these things that you never even thought about before. And I think that just finding the rhythm in it all and being comfortable with taking time for self-care and self-love while also being an amazing dope cool part of my French, but cool ass mama. You know what I mean? That meant something to me and I really leaned into that eventually.
Kim (07:13):
And how old are your kids now?
Lizzy (07:14):
11, eight and five.
Kim (07:17):
Okay. I have eight and six. So similar, we're in the similar, okay.
Lizzy (07:19):
Yes. Yeah, we're in similar stages of life.
Kim (07:21):
Speaking of, it's like my daughter, like, oh, my poop is green. And I'm like, all of your sense of humor goes out the window. The whole, I think I remember growing up in comedians would be like, Ooh, the naggy wife, the naggy mom. But then you're a parent and you're like, well, is your to-do list 80 things long? Yeah, exactly. I go over to the toilet, I don't laugh about it. I'm like, Hmm, let's investigate why your poop is green. I'm like, real person. Kim would laugh and think that's funny, but mom, Kim is like, oh, man. Another thing on our to-do list, now I have to go on WebMD.
Lizzy (07:54):
I, but isn't this funny though, Kim? Don't you feel like you do that for all members of the household, including your children and your spouse? And I mean, I'm not going to lie. It's not just the kids. Okay. You're inspecting everything that everyone is doing. Oh, okay. We had greens. Okay, and beets and this. Yep. I mean, it just, it's nonstop.
Kim (08:15):
There is, I was really in a cranky mood about this. It was maybe a year ago or something, and I was like, here's the deal. I need to feel sick and negative right now, and I need 24 to 48 hours and no one's asking anything. Yeah, that's
Lizzy (08:28):
Right. I'm
Kim (08:28):
Like, no offense unless your leg falls off. I don't care about your cold. I'm sick. I get to be sick today. This is my sick day.
Lizzy (08:35):
It's so funny you say that. My mom, like I said, single mom, she used to come home and she used to lock herself in the room for 15 minutes every day, every time she came home. And I used to be at the door knocking mom is, are you done yet? What is this? Why mom, mom? And she used to tell me it's because she needed to have that moment where she shifted from career woman into motherhood, and it's just like if for her it was 15 minutes, but she needed to click those things in her brain just so she could shift over because it's overwhelming. You're right. If you're sick, you get those 24 hours. How does that happen? I don't know. But you get those 24 hours.
Kim (09:13):
I'm like, and I'm going to plug in my white noise and put it by my door and I don't hear you.
Lizzy (09:17):
Exactly. That's right.
Kim (09:19):
It's funny, one of some, I had someone on the show, maybe it was Gretchen Rubin, the happiness expert. She had the same tip of having that transition period, or maybe it was Dr. Lisa Damour. Anyway, it was about having that transition phase because often depends where you live. A lot of people like commute, and now when you work from home, it's even harder. But when you commute, even if a commute's annoying, it actually allows you to leave workspace and get home. That's true. And if you're working from home, you're in your office, you pop out and it's like, ah, it's all at once. Yeah. Mommy, mommy, mommy. I'm like, oh, okay. So the idea of using that mental transition time, I love that. It's so smart. What did your mom do for work?
Lizzy (09:54):
My mom was actually in some heavy stuff. She actually worked at a mental health institution and she was an executive there, and so she helped run the entire hospital. So for her, when she got home, she was like, hold on, hold on. I need a minute to go from this. All the things that she was bombarded with at work to now dealing in a different way with her children and being able to relate in a different way. So for her, it was kind of heavy. I mean, me, I get to have fun with my job, so I love being able to go on camera or we're like, we produce an executive produce a lot of things, or the website and the podcast and things like that. I feel like what I do is fun and I get to incorporate my kids a lot in what I do. So I don't feel sometimes as, I don't feel like the transition needs to be as sharp with me as it was with my mom. However, I do believe in self-care. Like I do believe that you need moments just for you. You need moments not to answer anybody's questions, not to look at any poop, not to, you know, need moments where you can just kind of debrief and have your time to focus on you. Because honestly, if you are not happy, trust me. No one in that house is happy. I believe that.
Kim (11:08):
Lizzie, I have an idea. We're going to start a line of signs and it's going to say, tell Daddy about your green poop.
Lizzy (11:14):
Exactly.
Kim (11:16):
And that's a sign you put on your door. Yeah. When you're getting your private time. Right. Tell daddy about the color of your poop.
Lizzy (11:23):
That's right. There you go. Tell daddy about all of it. Color your poop, crayon, colors, anything you need. Just tell, talk that way. Point the arrow that way.
Kim (11:32):
Periwinkle, magenta. That's right. I don't have to get all the cradle the colors. Tell daddy. That's
Lizzy (11:37):
Right. Tell daddy. I'm telling you. I just think it's important.
Kim (11:40):
My mom also, I only realized this till much, much, much later, my mom went back to school to be a lawyer when we were in middle school, and then she was, at some point, I think we were older, she was representing institutionalized people to the court system, and I was like, what a hard job you have. I think I never really gave her her due. I'm like, all day, you're dealing with this. It's very hard job. And then you come home and listen to our bss. Wow.
Lizzy (12:07):
But when did you have that aha moment though?
Kim (12:09):
Oh, I was like 30.
Lizzy (12:11):
Yeah. Thank you. That's what I'm saying. I don't think I appreciated any one singular thing that my mom did. Yeah. In high school, I remember giving, writing my mom letters and being like, I love you so much. You mean so much to me. But I don't think it really sunk in until I had children. When I had children, I was like, you did this
(12:31):
By yourself every day. It blew my mind. I mean, I would just call her and be like, mom, I don't don't even understand how you did this by yourself. It just gave me so much more respect for parents in general, but then also single parents. I mean, literally my respect level quadrupled infinity because I was just like, this is unreal. To be able to do this on your own every single day and not have those outlets not be able to put up a sign that says, go tell daddy about the poop is wild. It's wild. I was like, wow. Wow. I appreciate you in so many different ways. Now,
Kim (13:11):
I did find an old diary and I was talking about how my mom was so nice. I was like, my mommy's so nice.
Lizzy (13:17):
And I'm like,
Kim (13:17):
I know. My kids think that about me. We'll see. You just mentioned, what are your recommendations, your top tips for self-care for moms? Things that are realistic, not like, oh, take a four day spa weekend. We know we can't do that. What are some,
Lizzy (13:28):
I know some
Kim (13:29):
Great ways that moms can get some self-care in.
Lizzy (13:32):
I hate to say it, and I know it sounds so cliche when everyone says, oh, just give yourself a bath and blah, blah, blah. But honestly for me it is being able to lock a door, which is usually a bathroom door, and being able to kind of zen out. And I love meditations. My mom passed last year and it kickstarted me into meditations and really trying to find something more deep that could put me in a space of calm, put me in a space of introspection, put me in a space of find a loving inside of me that I felt like my mom was always able to give me. So when that was gone, I felt like I was longing for a love that I didn't think that I could find. I mean, your husband loves you or your spouse loves you, your kids love you, but no one will love you, a parent or a mother.
(14:20):
And so for me, meditation really helped me find, I think that inner love that I needed. So to answer your question, for me, a lot of it, it's been dark rooms and meditation. There's something soothing about putting salts in a bath, lighting a candle, putting on soothing music and just being in my bathroom. There's also something really nice about taking drives by yourself. I don't know how frequent that is, but for me, when I'm in the car by myself, I'm like, oh my gosh, wow, this is amazing. And I don't call people. I turn on whatever music I want to listen to and I drive. And that for me is a lot of it zones me out. For some odd reason, it puts me in a really calming space. I think reading also helps. Being able to read other people's stories is also a form of learning and self-love, because I think you're giving back to yourself in a way. So I think those, they sound so cliche and I hate saying them, but honestly, sometimes it's just those simplest things that allow you to just say, okay, push out everybody else and let's focus on me for a second.
Kim (15:25):
Yeah. I find being in nature, I don't, I'm not like a big hiker or anything, but even a bike ride, I swear the other day I got on a bike and it was so nice and there was a little downhill, and I said, we, and I was like, that amazing. And it's stuff like that. It can be so small, but people are like, oh, get out in nature. You're like, oh, okay. But then you go to nature, and I'm like, that butterfly is of color I've never seen before. That's one of the things I love actually about having kids. I do think that I now see the world more with my kids and through their eyes, and I'm like, that is an incredible, in that flower look, they're pollinating things. 10 years ago I'd be like, what? I don't care. Not I don't care. I just didn't necessarily notice, so.
Lizzy (16:12):
Right, right. It wasn't as important.
Kim (16:14):
Yes.
Lizzy (16:15):
Yeah, I think it is. That's very good point though that you bring up Kim, is that just taking the moments to be present. I think that's a lot of it too. I think we get into our days and we're so busy and we're so like, ah, I got to do this. I got to do that. And there's literally 50 things on your to-do list, and you just forget to be present. And I think that's also really important to remember, be present for the Wes,
Kim (16:37):
Be present to say, I try to write down, I've been trying to be better about having a pen and a sticky note, so if something comes to my mind when I'm with my kids, I don't take out my phone. Then they feel like, oh, mom's on her phone. So I take a sticky note and I'm like, okay, things that I'll get to tomorrow.
Lizzy (16:53):
But then you have a thousand sticky notes, Kim.
Kim (16:57):
That's a good point. That's a very, very, very good point. That's
Lizzy (17:00):
About, then I have a thousand sticky notes, but this does remind me, another thing I didn't mention is a gratitude journal. Being able to write down things that you're thankful for, whether it be the smallest, the most minuscule, whether it was like, oh my God, dinner was so good today. Or that takeout was amazing, or that mint or the tomato finally sprouted in the garden, whatever. Those little minuscule little moments. I think a gratitude journal also does wonders for me.
Kim (17:28):
Yeah, I like that. I do. I wrote down memories as they happen, one to two sentences.
Lizzy (17:33):
Oh, I like that.
Kim (17:35):
Today, Nate said the word whatever instead of that word, and we just cracked up. Or today my daughter defended mommy to my son as a joke, but I was like, oh my God, I felt so appreciated. Yeah, just these little moments or just silly moments. It's not worth a photo album page, but it's a moment that I'll remember and my husband and I will remember and we'll be like, remember that one day we did that thing. Cool.
Lizzy (17:59):
It's so true.
Kim (18:01):
Talk to me about how you ended up finding your career path. You're doing so many cool things. How did those things end up happening? How did you decide what to pursue, what not to pursue?
Lizzy (18:11):
I'm going to be honest with you. I feel like they came out of nowhere. No, I do have a path. It's nothing that I thought I was going to be doing, which I think is odd enough when you think about your career and you think about, okay, this is what I want to be when I grow up. This was not really it. I was modeling and acting for a while in New York, so I went to school, I started modeling, which was great because it allowed me to travel the world. I got to see so many different people and places and cultures, and I was traveling quite a bit. I was traveling maybe three, four times a week. And so I was always gone, always on the road. And I was also living in other countries. It got a point where I was like, okay, I really want to incorporate more acting into my schedule and kind of see how that goes.
(18:54):
And I did, and everyone saw me as a 17 year old because I always had a baby face. So I was acting. I always had a baby face. Well, then I fast forward, I married, I have my first child. I actually had a miscarriage first, which was very difficult and very hard. So then I had my first healthy child, and that's what shifted for me. So for me, I think it was losing a pregnancy and having all the emotion of what that meant and the toll that it takes for you mentally more so than even physically sometimes. And I remember talking to my grandmother after it happened, and she said, Lizzie, don't you worry. You're going to go on to have many healthy babies. Don't you even worry? And I remember thinking, how do you know?
(19:38):
And I ended up having my first daughter who was very healthy and strong, and I was very excited. And so I think that's what also was the shift. So I did a couple of things by having that healthy pregnancy. Not only did it shift the way that I looked at career, I didn't want to be away from her anymore. The value of being gone three to four days a week was nothing to me anymore. I wanted to be with her, and I wanted to make sure she was good, and I wanted to soak up everything that in her moment, in her stage. But in doing that, I lost a lot of me. So in doing that, I lost some of the things that I loved to do and loved being because I was so focused on her post this, the pregnancy, I've lost the miscarriage.
(20:17):
And so with that, I started to create this site, and I was like, okay, I want to create a site that incorporates motherhood and showcases so people we can get on and talk. And eventually that became the Cool Mom. The cool mom co website. And so it was a way for me to get inclusivity, diversity, all moms like, Hey, we're in this together. And not only that, just by like I said to you just by of being parent you and this intersection of finding where your womanhood and your motherhood, where those meet. And so that was really fun. And so that's kind of what started it. And then I started to do a lot of on camera things and I was like, Hey, I kind of like this because it gives me a voice. I want to be able to talk and share and relate to people.
(21:05):
And I couldn't do that as a model. And so I was like, all right. And wasn't a big a-list actor, you know what I mean? So for me, this gave me a great outlet to be able to talk to people and share and hear their stories and talk to them. And so I was really excited about that. So I started doing that, and then eventually it kind of just moved into various spaces. Eventually I was able to take all the things that I had loved previously from home design to food and recipes, to just being able to relate and talk to people. All these different things now I was able to do in my own way. And so that's been very fun. So now I have the podcast, which is the Cool Mom Code podcast, coming soon, exclusive here on Breaking News Exclusive here, breaking News, which is really fun. So I have the show Honest Renovations, which I'm really excited about, which is all about home and design. And then I do a ton of food stuff. I've done shows with Taste Made in the food space, so that's exciting. So now I'm able to do all these pull from all these different places when really it's just full circle from where I kind of started.
Kim (22:10):
So awesome. Tell me about Honest Res Honest Renovations.
Lizzy (22:13):
Yeah. So Honest Renovations is a show with my best friend, Jessica Alba. We are going into the homes of families, and we are basically turning things up. We are renovating their homes. And the great part about it is that we really focused on families. So for us, it was really important. I'm a mom of three, she's a mom of three. We had learned all these things about how to organize or set up your house. Space is so important, storage is so important, and how these defining moments throughout motherhood and with children are very universal. We can all relate as a parent to different stages of having kids and your home life. So a lot of the episodes we go through, storage is a big issue in almost every single one because as we all, it's never enough, never can have enough space to store things and put things, but also being able to declutter, also changing up entire spaces and making them more functional and useful, intentional with purpose and meaning, instead of them just being kind of through covid, every space was everything for everybody. And so it's a lot of that. And we have these really great, beautiful designs. And then also Jess and I are, Jess and I, we keep it 100% real with each other. We have a banter unlike no other, I'm convinced. And I think it's just because we're very honest. We have a friendship that is very honest and very raw and real rooted in love, and that comes across. So it's kind of funny too, I'm not going to lie.
Kim (23:48):
What's it behind the scenes working with your best friend, Jessica Alba, on the show? What's it with? What we don't see?
Lizzy (23:54):
You see pretty much everything, which is funny that that's the best part about it. You pretty much see, you can just imagine that on camera. We just keep going. They say, okay, okay, we are done. We're fine. We got enough. And we're like, and da, da and da. And we just keep going back and forth with each other until we literally get in the car. But we share almost everything, which is great. So we're constantly together. Jess and I, we share hair, makeup, we share a trailer, we share all the things. So we're together a lot. And I think it comes through in this show. You can only imagine to just close your eyes and think, and that's exactly what we were saying off camera. But it's fun. I don't know. I think there's no better way when you think about working, I personally think to work with people that you love genuinely, people that you can have fun with, people who are supportive of one another, there's no better way to do it. And I think if you can have that, then you've won. And so this show is definitely a result of that.
Kim (24:57):
It's so funny because I've done several renovations, and I think one of the things that's challenging is how do you make it look cute, but also be functional? I'd always be like, oh, but I really like that thing, that dresser, that this, but I'm like, Ugh, it doesn't fit. Or it kind of ruins the whole room, but it's necessary. So I feel like it's hard. It's actually challenging to do Reno when you're really thinking about family. I think it's hard.
Lizzy (25:20):
It's really hard. But what's so fun about it is that you get to decide for other people. I think it's harder to decide for yourself sometimes. That's
Kim (25:28):
Why there's so many coaches in the world, because hard to make decisions for yourself.
Lizzy (25:32):
That's exactly right. And so I think when you're in, it's yourself, you're like, oh my God, I have to live with this for the next 15, 20 years. Oh my God, is this the right choice? But when you're deciding for other people, you're like, oh my God, they don't even know how great this is going to be. This is going to be perfect. This has everything that they need. They don't even know that they're going to use this for dinner. They're going to use this to entertain. They're going to use this for storage. It's like it's easier to make those decisions. I think another big piece of the show that I'm really proud of is the fact that we really come from a sustainable point of view at all times. So we really try in spaces where we can reuse things or reuse furniture or whatever, or even cabinets or in one of the episodes, reuse a full counter inside the house and we reused and repurposed it for outside. So we are coming from a very sustainable point of view too. And our takeaway for this show is that we want people to think that they can do this. We're not coming from this highbrow place where we feel like, oh no, this is too good for you. You can't achieve this. No. These are things that we're elevating a space, we're making it look amazing. But hey, guess what? We're also at Home Depot. We're also at places that are very accessible to you, and we're doing tips and tricks that can do.
Kim (26:44):
What's the funniest thing that happened on set? Funniest or craziest thing that happened on set?
Lizzy (26:48):
Okay, so I'm going to tell you the funniest thing that happened on set that did not make the show. And we were all like, ah. So Jess and I were doing wallpaper, and I had never done wallpaper before. She claims she has done wallpaper before. So we're figuring out the technique of wallpaper and we're trying to get it on the walls and all this stuff like that. Well, wallpaper without just, not the peel and stick, but the wallpaper with the paste. There's a really heavy white paste involved. And so we're putting it up and we're doing it on the walls and everything. And she literally goes like this, and splats all over me. There's a flat right over me. And I was like, oh, oh my God, you jed on me. And so we were done. She was like, oh my God, I cannot believe you just said that.
(27:36):
And so we going back and forth on the whole j, I said, well, what do you expect? My outfit, outfit now has gins all over it because you decided that you knew what you, and so we're going back and forth with that. And it didn't make, you might see a little clip of the scene, but you don't see the full jizz because it's quite inappropriate. And I don't even know where that came from, but later on, it's like when we're in interviews too, I'm like, well, if you and I had a name, wouldn't it be Gizzy, Jessica and Lizzie? I don't know. So it was just this full circle moment, but it was moments that that were super funny. That one I don't think made the show, but we had a lot of that
Kim (28:14):
You need to make gizzy happen.
Lizzy (28:16):
That's what I'm saying. I was like, we need merch. It's a whole thing. But is there
Kim (28:22):
Pushback? Is she not into it because she should be into it?
Lizzy (28:24):
I mean, I feel like everyone pushed back on me and said I was the wild one, but I'm really not. But I was like, all right, all good, whatever.
Kim (28:33):
Oh my God, I love it. Okay. Talk to me about work-life balance. Do you have it?
Lizzy (28:39):
It's interesting. I hear people say this all the time, and I think I agree with the naysayers on this one. I really think that work-life balance is something hard to achieve. I think balance is hard to achieve. I think that there are different phases in life, and we all know this through relationships and things like that. So your work and your life and your parenting and all that stuff is no. Different. Things require more of you at certain moments than others. And I think that's just life. When there's tragedies that happen, it requires a different part of you than when you're in a full happy moment. When one child needs something that the other children don't need, it requires you to be more present there. And I think it's the same with work-life balance. I think that there are certain moments in your career, in your life that require a little bit more of you than other times.
(29:27):
But for me, there's always a desire, a need, a purpose to not totally disappear from one or the other because both bring me joy. And I think that's what I learned too in new motherhood, right? Learned very quickly that, hold on, there's something missing. I was full on life and not enough work, and before that I was full on work and not enough life. So I don't necessarily think there's an equal balance, like a 50 50, but I think that for each individual person, you have to find what moment do you need a little bit more in that moment and what moment can you give a little bit less?
Kim (30:03):
Yeah, totally. And I think of it also as there might be a month or there might be a quarter where you're working more, but then the summer you might be chill. And that's just how it goes. It's like I think taking it and saying, well, what do I define it as? And I say, well, based on my own definition of work-life balance, I have it. Yeah. I'm like, I'm getting my kids from camp, but I'm also working. I am getting them from school one to two days a week, not five, but I don't even want five. I don't want five afternoons. That's okay.
Lizzy (30:29):
Yeah, I'm okay with that too. I think
Kim (30:31):
About what's the balance I want. And so sometimes it's busier and sometimes it's not. And that's okay.
Lizzy (30:37):
You know what also is interesting, I think on this point is that my husband has never asked this question. My husband has never asked what does his work life balance look like? And my husband, kudos to this man. He is hands-on in all areas. He is super hands-on with kids, family, home life. He's also super hands-on when I'm bringing him things about career and things like that. Just super involved across the spectrum, across the board. And he's never asked this question, what does your work life balance look like? And I think because as women we're so used to being everything we're expected to be, lemme say that not only are we used to being it, but we are also expected to be everything for everyone. You wouldn't believe when I've gone down in periods, for instance, after my mom passed or whatever, and I've just kind of disappeared off the face of the earth, you wouldn't believe how many people come looking for you, whether it is your spouse, your kids friends, it is siblings. All these people are looking for you because now you've disappeared and what's happening? What's going on? Where is that peace that I still need that peace from Lizzie? And so for me, I was like, wow, this is wild. How many people really rely on you as a source of love and nurture and all the things that women are supposed to be. But it's interesting to me, he never gets asked that question. And I think it's because of what we expect, right from women and from mothers, especially in their lives.
Kim (32:05):
And it's interesting because I've heard people be like, oh, you would never ask a man that. And I actually think instead of it being sexist, I think it's more like a women think about it more. I actually, I don't want to work an 80 hour week and not see my kids. That's actually not something I want. And I think a lot of women feel that way. My husband also feels that way. It's sexist that he doesn't get asked it, but I think it's not sexist to ask a woman that. I think it's like, but if balance is important to women, whether you're a parent or not, and it's something more on their minds. So I agree with you. I think we should ask men, do you have work-life balance? Do you get as much time with your kids as you want? But I don't, I'll say the other side of that question in society is I don't think it's sexist to ask women about it. I think it's sexist that we don't ask men about
Lizzy (32:50):
It. I agree. I totally agree. And I don't think it's sexist that we ask women about it because there is this stigma that we are supposed to have it all, and we are supposed to know what our balance is. I don't think it's sexist to ask women, you should ask women, because it's interesting also to hear each woman's point of view and perspective on it to see how and what if that even corresponds with her. But I do think it's something, right? We can ask me. My husband would love to get asked that question. He'd be like, lemme tell you all about my worklife balance.
Kim (33:23):
Lemme tell all about. But he'd say, I have have exactly what I want. He'd say, I have exactly what I want.
Lizzy (33:26):
I take walks, I do the massages and the massage chair. I spend time with the kids. I work. He would tell you all about it. And I think that he has a great way of thinking about it, whereas perhaps society has encouraged women to have more of a burden about it. So I don't think it's sexist to ask whoever, ask anybody.
Kim (33:46):
Maybe I'm thinking about those clips that are like, that's so sexist when people are like,
Lizzy (33:49):
No, I know who Do you
Kim (33:50):
Have babies? And you also run a business. Yes. That's sexist. Yes, of course. That's
Lizzy (33:56):
Sexist. Of course, yes. Not that. Yeah.
Kim (34:00):
How do you decide what you say yes to and what you say no to? I feel like a lot of women are struggle with the, and I've actually gotten much better about it in the last two years. I sometimes have people be like, oh, can I pick your brain or can we grab a coffee? And I used to be like, oh my God, of course. And now I'm running a business and I'm doing a lot of speaking engagements and I'm doing the podcast and I really do all this so that I can have more time with my kids. I've just had to say no a lot more. And I think it's people just sometimes aren't comfortable saying, no, it feels like you're letting people down. But it's been super important to me, and I think that people are thinking about it more. What do you say yes to? What do you say no to? How do you determine?
Lizzy (34:36):
There was a point in time where I said yes to everything because I just felt like it was the way for me to almost experience a lot, right? I wanted to say yes to, yes, I'll go to this. Yes, I'll talk to this. Yes, I'll do this. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And I'm glad I did because it was a chapter in life where I needed to say yes to everything I needed to say yes to all the opportunities, all the conversations, all because I learned so much and I was able to also figure out more about me and what I needed and what I wanted. Now it's not even, I think, a conscious decision of saying yes and no. I think for me, like you said, it's just time. It's like where does the time come in for everything? And so it's almost impossible to say yes to every single thing.
(35:18):
I think I determine it more so as how can I be of help to this situation? How can I be of assistance if I can, then yes, I'm there. I want to be able to give where I can. If I feel like it's something that's just taking where I'm not giving and it's just then that's not enough for me anymore. Because like you said, time is of the essence. And one thing I have learned, if I have learned nothing else, is that time is limited and you think you have more of it than you really do. And not just in your 24 hours day, it's literally in your lifetime. I've witnessed too many things I think in the past couple years that have really been a smack dab in the face of that time is not what we think it is. And so for you, I think you have to use your time wisely. A friend of mine used to always tell me, and she stands by this and I can't do it as well as she does. She always used to say, if it doesn't feed my soul and if I don't want to do it, then I'm not saying yes. And I'd be like, dang, I do so many things that don't necessarily feed my soul, but I still say yes.
Kim (36:23):
I was like, my soul is fa, but I'm so busy.
Lizzy (36:26):
I dunno. I dunno. But she's really good at that, and she's always held true to that. And even to this day, she, I'm like, I'm in town. You want to come to dinner? She's like, aha, I don't know. I'm not really in the mood. Of course. And I'm like, dang, dang, for real. Okay, cool. No worries. I got you. I'll see you next time.
Kim (36:42):
Your friend is my hero. I'm like, well, it'd be a two hour train ride for a one hour dinner, but yeah, I'll do it. I'll do it. Yeah.
Lizzy (36:50):
And I'm like, I don't think I can move. Maybe that darkly, I can't move that harsh, but for her, it works for her. And so I think you also have to find what works for you. For me, I say yes to a lot of things, but also because I'm at a phase in life where I think that the experience also gives back to me and I can give to something. And that's important to me in this phase of life.
Kim (37:13):
I think you were referencing your mom passing when you said you don't know how short life is. My dad passed away two years ago, and it was not a surprise. How I think of it is, man, I am glad I'm doing exactly what I want to do. Yes. I think that's what I, it's like you never know when your number's up. And so I think that has sometimes I'm like, yeah, that'd be proud of me. I did good. I think about that, but I also think, oh, I left a big good career to bet on myself to run my business. And it's like every year I'm like, is anyone ever going to hire me again? I don't know,
Lizzy (37:48):
But
Kim (37:49):
They are. And somehow I continue to have clients and it's going really well, but I do think that I'm getting so much time with my kids in the summers. I'm out by the beach working, but living the life I want. And I'm just like, I didn't know this life existed but it, it's harder, but it's better. And I think that's how I think about it as I'm really glad with the decisions I've made in the past five years because you never know
Lizzy (38:13):
Who else sees it though, not just your dad looking down on you, right? That's not the only person who sees it, sees it. Your kids, your kids see the difference in you. Your kids see the joy, your kids see how you work and how you operate. They are our biggest fans and they're our biggest witnesses of our life right now. They truly are watching with eyes wide big and taking it all in because I know, I remember that's what I did with my mom and they're capturing it all. I got my work ethic from my mom. I got how hard she and how strong she was mentally and physically from my mom. And so whatever the decisions that we're making now, they're the ones who are capturing it. They're the ones who are being impacted more than we could ever imagine. And I think that's beautiful. Making the choice to be able to do what you want to do and having a career that you want to have that just teaches them empowerment on another level that they would've never even seen before.
Kim (39:07):
And I've been trying to be better about saying, bringing them in and being like, actually, mommy spoke in front of 300 people and she thought she was going to throw up. Yes. And this is what she did. She did it anyway. I'm like, you see me on that stage? I thought I was going to actually barf.
Lizzy (39:19):
I love
Kim (39:19):
That. And then my daughter and I, we started doing this journal thing where I write a page, she writes a page, I write a page, and she writes a page. Oh, I
Lizzy (39:25):
Love that.
Kim (39:26):
The greatest thing I've ever done. And because she'll write things that she would never say to my face because that just doesn't come out naturally. She might give me a compliment, not realizing it's a compliment to me, but saying something about me that's so nice. And then I'm like, oh, thank you for saying that. And she's like, what did I say? She's not going to give me the compliment, but she says something like, wow. She's like, mommy, you do so much. You walk us to school every day and you make a podcast every single week and you sometimes get us from school. I'm like, that's so nice. And I said it later that week. That's
Lizzy (39:56):
So sweet.
Kim (39:56):
I was like, that's so nice. I felt very appreciated by you. And she's like, huh? I said that. I don't think I said that
Lizzy (40:03):
Exactly.
Kim (40:04):
I'll send you a link to the book. It's unbelievable. And it's really cements and monumentalize these moments that are passing, and I promise you, your kids will write things in there that they would never say to your face. They're so sweet. One of the things was like something you appreciate about your mom or admire, and she wrote that you work for yourself.
Lizzy (40:22):
Oh, see,
Kim (40:23):
Something that you do great is you give great cuddles. It's just like, I'm like, oh my God, you would never say those things to my face, but it's so sweet.
Lizzy (40:31):
Have your kids ever like, okay, has anyone ever asked in front of you, your kids? Oh, so what does your mommy do or anything like that to your kids? My kids literally say things that I didn't even know They knew that I did. They're the biggest PR team I've ever had. They are like, no, my mommy does this. My mommy does that and we do this. My mommy does that. And I'm like, I'm like, wow, you've been paying really close attention. So it's amazing what they pick up on. It really is.
Kim (40:57):
They'll say, my mommy makes videos. And then sometimes Lily will be like, you made a video. Did you win another award? I'm like, no. Awards are actually hard to come by. You happen to be alive while I won many of them, but they actually take a really long time to make like, she's like, oh, you got a video? Did that one get a trophy? I'm like, oh,
Lizzy (41:13):
I love it. See, that's good though. That that's, that's great. I mean, the fact that she knows makes you feel great. It reminds you of how far you've come and all the accomplishments you've done and the fact that she's taking note, winning,
Kim (41:27):
Winning. And then I film it and I put it on Instagram. Just kidding, sorry.
Lizzy (41:30):
Exactly.
Kim (41:31):
Alright, Lizzie, before we wrap up, I got rapid fire for you. Ready?
Lizzy (41:35):
I'm ready.
Kim (41:35):
All right. Rapid fire with Lizzie, the weirdest job you've ever had.
Lizzy (41:39):
Working at a bagel factory. I made bagels.
Kim (41:41):
Actually made the bagels.
Lizzy (41:43):
I actually made the bagels, and we used to make this thing called a frugal, which was basically a fried cinnamon raisin bagel that you had to deep fry and then you had to dip it in sugar, cinnamon, sugar, flip it, flip it, flip it, put it in a brown bag, hurry up and give it to 'em, because if you waited too long, it got really hard and chewy.
Kim (41:56):
Yum. Michigan. In Michigan,
Lizzy (41:58):
That's right. Michigan. Yep.
Kim (41:59):
Yum. Okay. Something you hate
Lizzy (42:02):
Eggplant. Don't get me wrong. I love it when it is in a really nice, beautiful soy sauce at Asian restaurants, but I cannot make eggplant. I don't like making it at all. It just gives me a, it's the texture. It's the texture thing. I'm always like, yeah, and I love food.
Kim (42:19):
Embarrassing parenting moment,
Lizzy (42:21):
Not packing an extra onesie and having the diaper blowout straight up the baby's back and me just being out and about with it and just not only smelling like boo booo, but then also just embarrassed that it's just, it's there. This is me today on a random Tuesday. I have nothing else to do. Most embarrassing. Karen, come on.
Kim (42:41):
You're like, that's why I smell like poop.
Lizzy (42:43):
That's good. Just a Tuesday. Nothing more
Kim (42:46):
A surprising skill you have.
Lizzy (42:48):
I'll give it to you. You ready?
Kim (42:49):
I'm ready. I'm ready.
Lizzy (42:50):
Here we go. Peter Piper picked a pack of pepper pack picked if Peter picked. So where's the pack of pepper part picked? Those were all words. That's my skill. Yep. Peter Piper.
Kim (43:00):
Wow. You could have been that Micro Machine's narrator from the nineties.
Lizzy (43:04):
That's the only one I know. That's it. That's the only one I know. I can't do it with any other rhymes, rhythms, poems, nothing. Just that one.
Kim (43:12):
Now I'm probably going to practice it on my own and be like, can I do that faster? I don't think I can.
Lizzy (43:15):
I'll record it for you and get it, get you a copy.
Kim (43:20):
Lizzie, this was so fun. Okay, so how can our listeners track you? You got the honest renovations. Tell us us about all the things that we can do.
Lizzy (43:27):
Yes. So definitely follow me over on Instagram at Lizzie Mathis. Definitely follow the Cool Mom Co on Instagram as well, as well as the site, the cool mom, co co, and definitely Honest Renovations. So Honest Renovations, we are going to be showing on Roku. We are airing August 18th. You can binge watch all the episodes at once and it's going to be a really good time, so make sure to check us out.
Kim (43:50):
Yay. Thank you so much.
Lizzy (43:51):
Thank you.
Kim (43:52):
Don't forget to watch Honest Renovations on Roku starring Lizzie Mathis and Jessica Alba. You can also follow Lizzie on Instagram at Lizzie Mathis and follow the cool Mom Co.
(44:06):
Thank you so much for listening. Make sure to drop a review, and if you want to send in a real mom moment that we'll share on the air, check out moms exit interview.com. And if you're a professional or small business owner looking to grow your brand through amazing content with no silly dances and with no burnout, check out my website kim redford.com and you can hit contact to chat with me. And thanks for listening. Like this is the most amazing community. You guys send in the best feedback, so share it with your friends. Let anyone know who you think would appreciate it. And this is Mom's Exit interview. I'm your host and executive producer, Kim Rittenberg. The show is produced by Henry Street Media. Jillian Grover edited this episode, and Aliza Freelander is our editorial producer and publicist. I'll see you next time.