Ep.46 / Can We Slow The F Down? The Sister Project on Going from Stifling Job to the ‘Most Ridiculous Fun’
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We got my lively and fun Midwestern sisters on the podcast today, Michelle Anderson and Lauren Massarella of The Sister Project, a fantastic lifestyle blog and podcast. They get real about feeling hate, anger and resentment of the working life lack of balance as a new mom, they talk about the struggle to find balance (or slow the F down), and we learn about their interesting life paths and how Michelle went from doing a job that felt stifling to doing ‘the most ridiculous fun, amazing thing.’ Goals!
Plus how to get more hygge (coziness!) in your life. Also fun, apparently I remind them of their ‘Aunt Laura’ which I am going to take as a compliment.
Then we celebrate an amazing video boot camp student of mine - Crystal Ware who started a podcast called Get Clear with Crystal Ware. I love to celebrate wins!
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In this episode you will learn:
The importance of finding a job that is fulfilling and allows you to have a life outside of work
Creating work-life balance by setting boundaries on your time
Enhancing your lifestyle with Hygge
Show Takeaways:
Is finding balance and joy in your life feeling like an impossible task?
We all want to be able to enjoy our lives, but sometimes it can be hard to achieve. We are constantly bombarded with demands from work, family, and other obligations that can make it difficult to find time for ourselves.
Well on the podcast today, we got my Midwestern sisters, Michelle Anderson and Lauren Massarella of The Sister Project, a fantastic lifestyle blog and podcast. We talk about how to create more coziness or Hygge in our life, more balance, and we learn about their interesting life paths, which include yoga teaching.
Plus I celebrate an amazing student of mine who started a podcast. I love to celebrate wins!
“Hate, anger, and resentment, not of course to my kids and family but to the work-life lack of balance.” - Michelle
“Hygge is this idea of creating moments and embracing seasons and leaning into the colder months and creating these environments that are so appealing to your sense of smell and the feeling of being cozy and warm in your home.” - Michelle
“How can I be a mom and slow the F down a little bit?” - Lauren
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EPISODE LINKS:
Listen to Crystal Ware’s podcast
Listen to Cozy Conversations with the Sister Project podcast
Follow The Sister Project Blog
How To Be A Happier, Less Stressed & More Successful Parent: Click here
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Kim (00:02):
We got my Midwestern sisters here, Michelle Anderson and Lauren Mozzarella of the Sister Project, a fantastic lifestyle blog and podcast. We talk about how to create more coziness or K in our life, more balance, and we learn about their interesting life paths, which include yoga teaching. Plus, somehow I remind them of their Aunt Laura. Anyway, it's really fun. You got to have a listen.
Kim (00:25):
This is Mom's exit interview, the show for moms who want to craft the career and life they want. Each episode, you'll meet inspirational moms across various industries and levels who are working and living life on their own terms, and they'll bring you actionable tips from finance to business development to happiness, to crushing that imposter syndrome. I'm Kim RIT Bird. I was a burnt out media executive at Netflix, US Weekly and in TV news. I wanted a career where I was fulfilled at work but present at home with my kids. So I started working for myself and I love it, but not every day was easy or is easy. I wanted to explore with all of you how other moms were creating careers on their own terms. They're carving out flex jobs, starting their own businesses. They're taking back control. Join me and make work work for you instead of the other way around.
Kim (01:29):
I am loving getting all of your amazing notes of feedback. I got one from Heather this week that it has been her 5:00 AM listen in the laundromat and it has helped change her life and helped her reassess her career. So Heather, thank you so much for sending that in. Don't forget to send in your feedback, drop a rating and review and tell two friends that will keep us making this podcast. And I have been having some really awesome experiences this month. Basically, I've been traveling the country doing speaking engagements, basically a life dream. But I love to talk, but I also love to teach and I really like that I've been getting to merge my gift of gab and my love of really empowering people with the knowledge I've gathered about video and on camera. And I've been doing that. Basically, I've been teaching business owners and real estate agents across the country how to be better on camera and grow their business and it's just been amazing.
Kim (02:21):
So I just want to share that one with you. I know I love hearing your win, so I like to share my wins with you. And if you're listening for the first time, I'm Kim Whitford. I was in media and marketing for 15 years and I launched my business where I now teach business owners about how to grow their income leads and credibility with video and podcasts. If you want to grab my free download, how to Be Better on Camera and how to make high quality video that Grows your resume, grows your resume, grows your revenue, go to kim rit.com and today I just loved chatting with Michelle Anderson and Lauren Mozzarella. They're so warm and lovely and fantastic. I love my Midwestern friends. They host Cozy Conversations with the Sister Project. They're based out of Chicago, Illinois. They have a lifestyle blog and a podcast and they're just super fun.
Kim (03:07):
Michelle has two 15 year olds and Lauren just had a baby. They talk about how self-care should be a non-negotiable, especially as a busy entrepreneur mom and why slowing down can actually be good for your business. That is a hot take. They also explain why they focus on Huy, which is that feeling of coziness, which is great. And by the way, I spent a week in Denmark. The origin of Huy, H Y G G E is just that, of having that feeling of coziness surrounded by warmth and love and it's just a great concept. So I love that that is such an important part of their brand. So let's get to it. On Mom's exit interview, we talk a lot about careers and how you find the right fit and working full-time working. How would you describe what you do?
Michelle (03:51):
Oh, well, can I go back just a little bit in time because I, based on all of the things that you talk about over here at Mom's Exit, I was doing a little perusing and I really, really, really connect with everything that you talk about because for 20 years I worked for a company. I was married to my job. I spent 10 hours driving in my car. I spent barely any time with my family and my kids and for all of those, well, I was good for 10 years. And then the second 10 when I became a mom, then this lifetime, this moment in time where I was supposed to feel so excited and happy to finally be a mom, I was really starting to feel all of the failings that one doesn't want to feel when they're a new mom and working, which was what I described as hate, anger, and resentment, not of course to my kids and family, but to the working life, lack of balance that I had and well into that second decade of working. That was really sort of when the sister project came to be and where me as a creative person who was totally stifling that aspect of who I was, sort of was drawn to the idea of doing something that I could create and find joy and feel fulfilled and contribute to people's health and wellbeing in some way. And also be a fricking present mom to my children.
Kim (05:24):
What is your job? Did you leave your job? Because if not, then becomes the other thing is you're filling your cup with something that's exciting, but you're giving yourself more work and more obligations that aren't related to your children. So tell me, dive a little deeper from me, Michelle, what was your job and are you still there?
Michelle (05:39):
I was basically every hat in the business for a contracting company. It was a contracting company. We kepted connected government opportunities and we provided commodities and equipment and supplies to them. I was in such a wrong spot. I didn't actually know what I wanted to do with my life and found myself working alongside my dad because that was the easy option that filled this thing that I thought I just needed, which was a job. And then over time switched to what Lauren and I do now, which is created a space where we can do our job, which isn't a job. I will never, it's the most ridiculous, fun, amazing thing that we've created for ourself. And it feels like, I mean actually living again because there's space for it.
Kim (06:34):
So you're no longer working at the contracting company.
Michelle (06:37):
So I am as a family member to that business working about an hour to two hours a week managing some very small aspect as a way to stay connected. It is a small income and also it's a family business that I've been involved in for a very long time, but have managed to, when the pandemic hit, when the pandemic hit is when I said I'm done. I'm out. I'm, I'm no longer going to drive to the city of Chicago every day ever again. And then what's crazy is the pandemic hit. I made the shift. I was about to get start on this adventure into entrepreneurship and our little creative business that we have here and the world shifted, but we still have managed to survive in. The Sister Project is just keeps growing and thriving every day and we have a blast doing it.
Kim (07:28):
I love what you were saying. I think a lot of people feel this way. I think that's why people like mom's exit interview because a lot of people feel that way and a lot of people feel like, wow, when I really clock my hours 45 minutes a day times 10 trips a week, not that great with math an hour and a half times five, I'm like, oh, almost, almost eight hours a week. It's almost eight hours a week in a car, on a train on the subway, whatever, commuting.
Michelle (07:57):
That's when I would cue hate, anger and resentment. That's when I would just get pissed.
Kim (08:03):
Well, so in the podcast world, that's when I would play the sound effects of someone like honking their horn, like road rage. Road rage. Actually I have a funny video where my son this summer I caught him playing pretend road rage in our little toy car. I'm like, oh, I'm the main driver of our family. I'm like, oh my god, Rick learn that he's copying my road rage. That's so embarrassing. Anyway, so I love them all to say I love that. So Michelle, so how would you describe what you do? Are you a part-time entrepreneur? Are you pick up your kids from school?
Michelle (08:38):
I'm a full-time entrepreneur. I could work 24 hours a day, seven days a week. But thankfully we have this amazing setup here where we make our wellness and self-care kind of giving a shit about ourselves a priority, but also on time for my kids at the pickup line when somebody needs a little help with homework, they don't have the burnt out, busted out mom that's so tired she can't even see straight and just wants to go to bed. I'm like full of energy and presence and it, it's been an incredible experience to see the juxtaposition that I am in an experience now as compared to when I was in that other space
Kim (09:18):
That I really speaks to me a lot. And what about you Lauren? What's been your career path?
Lauren (09:26):
My career path has been Michelle and I used to joke because I've done a little bit of everything. I have done television, I've done public relations. I was concierge at a hotel, I've worked in the cannabis industry. But I think most notably my career, I have a decade long career as a yoga teacher, which I really found a L deep love for worst pay, no benefits there. You don't get anything. All you get is a lot of free yoga and unlimited time off, but no pay time off if that all makes.
Kim (09:57):
So
Lauren (09:58):
That was a big part of what we would integrate into and what we do integrate into the sister project as well. My background is in mindfulness and in self-care and whatnot, so that does very heavily, oh my, I also said very heavily bleed into, but that just doesn't sound right.
Michelle (10:15):
That's what I'm doing right now
Kim (10:16):
By the way.
Lauren (10:19):
It plays a huge role. It's taking a role in and of itself within the sister project. So since I've given birth, I stopped teaching yoga and with yoga it's, it's a very nomadic job. You don't have an office, you don't have a home base. You go from one place to another and that was very, very tiring at a certain point. So I too decided to dedicate my life and career in regards to the career aspect of my life to the Sister project and commit to it. And now that Luna is here, Michelle and I have had to make huge adjustments in regards to not burning out for a while. I would drive to Michelle's house with baby, with belongings and mother-in-law would be there waiting for us to take the baby and we would get downstairs and do our podcast and it was stressful and it's a time suck now. I was kind of trading places with Michelle. I was the one driving into the suburbs and with another little baby and whatnot. And we decided this year for 2023 we are working smarter, not harder because we've been working hard and we will continue to do so. But it's a lot of change. I mean it's just a season of life that we're in at the moment.
Kim (11:26):
I love that you used the word, which I don't think I can say it perfectly. Okay. My window's open so you can hear all the sirens happening in New York City, which is cool. That's how it goes in podcasting. Love it. Well we'll have coffee in a very huy place when you come to New York.
Lauren (11:40):
Yes.
Kim (11:41):
I love the idea of huy, which I can't say properly, but I did go on a trip to Denmark and that's where I learned huy
Lauren (11:49):
And was it amazing? That's like it's on our top bucket list.
Kim (11:53):
Yeah, I went to Copenhagen, I was doing travel reporting for at that point Yahoo Travel and it was so amazing. Copenhagen, I love design, it had such cool design and such cool style. And then I went to these tiny islands outside of Copenhagen and it was stepping into a Hans Christian Anderson fairy tale with fetched roofs and greenery everywhere. I don't know if I'm the princess or the frogger, but I'm definitely in a fairytale. I dunno who I'm, but I'm in the fairytale. It's just love it. And talk to me about the hugin mentality. How does it play into your life and why is it so core to your lifestyle brand?
Michelle (12:28):
Someone handed us this book, A little book of Hogan, and we read it and we said, holy crap, this is us. We are huga or huga. This mentality, this idea of creating moments and embracing seasons and leaning into the colder months and creating these environments that are so appealing to your sense of smell and the feeling of being cozy and warm in your home is something that really enhances our lifestyle. It really does make us feel better. Lauren and I were talking about it this morning when we get up, we both make our coffee, but we don't just make our coffee, we set the tone for the day.
Kim (13:13):
What I love is how you talk about being balanced and feeling cozy and together and how can we bring that sort of cozy, better paced mentality for all of us moms who are looking for better work-life balance.
Lauren (13:28):
Well, one of the things I was going to say is that we, and I like your podcast, I love your podcast because I was thumbing my way down and looking at all the topics that you offer to your listeners. And I think one of the things that society does is I don't even think one of the things that does do is work. Work how to be a mom and get that job going. How to be a mom and kill your side hustle. It's how to be a mom and also be 500 other things. And one of the things that we like to talk about and encourage our community here at the Sister Project is to how to be a mom and slow the F down a little bit.
Kim (14:03):
Totally. It's not how to do more, it's how to do more, how to find more joy. Yes, it's like how to find more balance. But everything is served out there. It's like hustle, hustle more, do more da da
Lauren (14:16):
More. And with the hookah lifestyle, you start to get yearn for that moment where you know light those candles and your kid goes down. What I've started doing is when the baby goes down, she goes down at six o'clock right now. So my evening is putting her down and then I hop in where I'm sitting right now where we have a little yoga mat I did, lights are down, it's dark. I like candles and I get my a nice evening, slow flow yoga, the thing that is important is balance. And we don't as people and we are really wired to do more and there's nothing wrong with doing a little less sometimes. And one thing that Michelle is really good at, and I find I'm good at it too, and it's imperative for women to talk and visit with their girlfriends. I have a couple girlfriends who I haven't seen since they had a baby and their baby's nine years old now and it's like, where'd you go?
Lauren (15:07):
What did you do? You became a mom. And we're still friends, but we're just friends because we text once in a while. And I think it's so important that if you pause your work and your family life just so that you can go out and see your friends and have conversation and learn from one another and vent and enjoy some good food and wine or whatever, that also is a huge part of this lifestyle is connection with yourself at alone time and with others, with the people that bring joy in your life, not just your unit at home. And that is, it's imperative for also, we've just talked about brain health as well. It's imperative for functioning cognitively. It's really important. And I think that we just sometimes see how to get somewhere fast and on its fastest path and we don't slow down enough.
Michelle (15:53):
And if I can add to that, it took me a little bit of time coming from a 20 year work lifestyle situation and transitioning to this and almost having to retrain myself to be like, oh no, you can actually stop right now. You do have autonomy over your entire day and you don't need to whip yourself with cane yourself till you're dead at the end of the day and have done nothing that gives you joy or co gives you a moment of stillness and quiet. So we also like to encourage people, moms, especially if you don't have an hour, take five minutes. Yeah, go get your shoes on. Go for a walk around the block with your dog, listen to a 10 minute podcast, have a walk and talk with your girlfriend. Get in the woods. We always say lean into the seasons, especially during the colder winter months.
Michelle (16:51):
Don't become a shut in when it's temperature starts to drop. There's no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothes get out there. And you start to see that when you are gifting yourself with these things that shouldn't be gifts, they should be absolutes, non-negotiables every part of your day. But when you do start to thread them in throughout your day, you start to feel a little more weightless, you start to feel more space balanced, there becomes a sort of leveling off. You get to ground zero, which is lovely. And that's the goal and the point of this incredible lifestyle that we are obsessed with.
Kim (17:32):
Yeah, I love that. One of the things that I feel like as a fellow podcaster, I do feel like we are lucky in that we end up having connection with other humans, other parents, but connection with other humans through the podcast, which is one of the best things I've loved about it. And actually my husband is good about this and I realize I am not great at self-care, but maybe I'm just a little selfish. But I have always made sure to realize when I need wine with my friends, when I need a night out, because I think you have to know yourself because this period of life where you have to give so much of yourself to other people, to your children, to your partner, and to work that knowing what you need. And I feel like I need socializing more than I need a exercise class. I also should exercise and need to exercise, but I need those drinks with my girlfriends every few weeks or I feel really caged in. And so I like your tips about connecting with people because it is connection at the end of the day. And it's not about productivity and maximizing efficiency and when is enough enough.
Lauren (18:35):
I just read an article too, Kim and Michelle, about how stress is just so bad for our brains and for our bodies. And it's like researchers are coming out, they're like, if you lead in the title, the headline was something about if you are living a life filled with stress and worry in your midlife, you are not on a road of great health cognitively. And having a mother that passed away from dementia, this is a huge priority for us is to keep in mind these kind of aspects of our lives. Before we're 16, we're wondering where life went and everything's a hot mess.
Kim (19:08):
Yeah, I totally, and I'm sorry to hear about your mom by the way. I had read about that and my dad passed away less than two years ago. And I feel like my takeaway is do whatever you want to do. You want to do something YOLO and whatever. Yeah, I'm like, do it. And I do also think, I do feel one of my intentions every year, it's not a resolution but it's an intention every year is to do something that scares me. And before I launched the podcast, that was the thing that scared me. Even though I am an executive producer for Netflix and Pop Sugar and all these big projects, putting myself out there as the face, the brand, the voice, I felt a little uncomfortable because we all have these insecurities, an imposter syndrome in our head who wants to hear from me, what am I saying?
Kim (19:51):
Or people just going to think that I'm like attention needy. Totally. And I sure of put that away and I'm like, no, I believe in this message. I believe there are moms who are looking for community, who are looking for a voice of being in between, stay at home and grinding on a ladder and finding our path. And it's been amazing and I'm getting such great feedback and I do think about that. But my dad passing, I'm like, Hey, be so proud of me. And he'd be like, of course your podcast's going to be amazing. He'd be like, it's going to be the best podcast in the world. Love your dad. But anyway, so I do think that when you lose a parent, it makes you realize your own mortality and also just it does do it. Want to do it 100%.
Lauren (20:27):
Absolutely.
Michelle (20:29):
When my mom passed, that was the final thing that pushed me into walking into the office and saying, I have to change this. I'm not happy and I need to go find something that works for me. And yeah, it changes you for sure in that way.
Kim (20:44):
Yeah, and I think it also, obviously when you hear the love that your parents have for you, you're always like a kid. You're like, okay mom, you love me. And now I have a kid, I'm like, I know you so much. You're the most perfect thing
Lauren (20:54):
In the world.
Kim (20:56):
I have a question cause I love to ask people like the nitty gritty details and all that stuff. Financially, how is it going, you know, both were working before and now you're focused totally on the lifestyle. How does that compare before to now?
Lauren (21:08):
Well, I mentioned then in the yoga career, you don't get paid a lot of money. So anything's better than that. We're getting into a much more comfortable place for years. We never paid ourselves. We're paying ourselves and it's we're getting to a space that we are getting to, I think more financial stability steadily and it feels really, really good.
Michelle (21:28):
And did that for a great amount of time while the sister project was born. And now what we've done is we've created these revenue streams that are regular source of income. We have two people that work for us. We have a publicist, we have an editor that takes care of our podcast. Now a
Lauren (21:46):
Year ago we weren't doing things like that.
Michelle (21:48):
We have people that work for us that help us create this brand and that leaves more space for us so we can create more. And now it's like this. That's I would say mental health right now. Listener, you can't see this, but I've got the arm trajectory facing up and that's how it feels in my mind. And on the spreadsheet with the numbers that matter,
Kim (22:09):
They say they have a few revenue streams including sponsored content on the blog and the newsletter and they sell candles as well. Don't forget to check out their amazing podcast, cozy Conversations with the Sister Project and their blog, the Sister Project blog.
Kim (22:27):
I wanted to give a shout out to Crystal Ware who launched a great podcast called Get Clear with Crystal Ware. Crystal is a lawyer and former Fortune 500 corporate leader turned entrepreneur. I met Crystal because she was a student in my video bootcamp class. She is so focused and positive on growing her business and empowering others. She loves mentoring women and teaching women how they can own their own life, become the c e o of their own life. And her show focuses on getting clear in your goals, owning your worth, and becoming the c e o of your own life. It's a perfect match for mom's exit interview listeners. So find it wherever you get your podcast. It's called Get Clear with Crystal Ware. Congrats Crystal,
Kim (23:10):
Thank you so much for listening. Make sure to drop a review and if you want to send in a real mom moment that we'll share on the air, check out moms exit interview.com. And if you're a professional or small business owner looking to grow your brand through amazing content with no silly dances and with no burnout, check out my website, kim rit bird.com and you can hit contact to chat with me. And thanks for listening. Like this is the most amazing community. You guys send in the best feedback, so share it with your friends, let anyone know who you think would appreciate it. And this is Mom's Exit interview. I'm your host and executive producer Kim Rit. The show is produced by Henry Street Media. Jillian Grover edited this episode, and Eliza Friedlander is our editorial producer and publicist. I'll see you next time.