EP. 23 / Zibby Owens Host Of ‘Moms Don’t Have Time To Read Books’ Went From Not Being ‘Excited About Anything’ & A Divorce To Launching A Media Empire
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Mother of four Zibby Owens always wanted to be a writer and during her years as a stay-at-home mother of 4 felt “nothing was firing her up.” Zibby details her path to finding her calling after her divorce, how she got her ‘sparkle’ back, and how she launched the award-winning daily podcast Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books where she interviews authors.
Zibby’s been called the Oprah of Books and NYC’s “most powerful book-fluencer.” With that success she launched Zibby Media which includes a publishing house, a magazine and a podcast network and she has written multiple books including a children’s book, Princess Charming, and a memoir, Bookends: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Literature.
Zibby discusses how losing loved ones has focused her vision, how authenticity and relatability is one of the keys to her success and she offers advice for others looking to find their passion, pursue a satisfying career and be more productive!
Plus, in our real mom moment you’ll hear from Abby Rose Green whose 6-year-old daughter advocated for her younger sibling who has Down’s Syndrome. Grab those tissues!
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Show Takeaways from Zibby Owens:
ON FEELING LOST:
“I had many many years where I was not excited about really anything and I felt like okay this is life I'm a stay home mom and this is what I do and it's okay. There was nothing firing me up. At all and it really affected me to my core I was not myself.”
ON PURSUING YOUR PASSION
“My friend Stacy died (in 9-11). We believe she was sitting at her desk because the first plane hit right at her floor in the north tower. So I've always believed that she died at her desk and decided back then that if I was going to die at my desk I had to be bringing my entire self to whatever job I was doing. I'm totally aware of that, I feel like any day could be my last and so I've chosen to use my time here to connect and celebrate.”
ON IDENTIFYING WHAT YOU LOVE AND PURSUING IT
“Do the things you love and figure out if there's a way to connect by doing them.
Find things that that make you YOU.'“
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EPISODE LINKS:
Zibby Owens on Instagram Zibby Magazine Mom’s Don’t Have Time To Read Books
Abby Rose Green @herselfpodcast
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Kim Rittberg (00:01):
Zibby Owens host of the podcast, Moms Don't have time to read books. Went from feeling stuck to launching a hit podcast and now a media company.
Zibby Owens (00:10):
I had many, many years where I was not excited about really anything and I felt like, okay, this is life. I'm a stay at home mom and this is what I do and it's okay. But there was nothing firing me up at all.
Kim Rittberg (00:26):
Zibi talks about how she revisited her passion after her divorce and found her true calling.
This is Mom's exit interview, the show for moms who wanna craft the career and life they want. Each episode, you'll meet inspirational bombs across various industries and levels who are working and living life on their own terms, and they'll bring you actionable tips from finance to business development to happiness, to crushing that imposter syndrome. I'm Kim Richberg. I was a burnt out media executive at Netflix, US Weekly and in TV news. I wanted a career where I was fulfilled at work but present at home with my kids. So I started working for myself and I love it, but not every day was easy or is easy. I wanted to explore with all of you how other moms were creating careers on their own terms. They're carving out flex jobs, starting their own businesses, they're taking back control. Join me and make work, work for you instead of the other way around.
So we're friends here and I love celebrating your wins in the show. The whole show is a celebration of finding your own path, one that leads you to happiness and fulfillment. And I wanna share a big win for me. I just found out I won four big awards over the past year for serious. I've produced for a client actually when I found out it was Halloween. So my face was done up. I had painted four eyes with fake eyelashes on my face and looked totally, totally insane. And of course posted an Instagram story to celebrate. The client is the nonprofit. It gets better and that you do such beautiful, impactful work. And I'm so proud of what we made. It was a huge project. It took months to prepare. It took so many people, such an amazing team helping me to shoot this, to edit this.
I loved the output and the awards were just the icing on the cake. But I think everyone here knows that starting your own business can be scary. Making changes in your life is scary. And I face a lot of imposter syndrome and I'll tell you the best antidote to imposter syndrome is success. And anyway, I'm wrapping this up cause I wanna get into the show. But of course if your business can use video or podcast to reach more clients, drop me a note. You can check out my video work@kimrit.com or you could message me on Instagram at Kim richford. And now I'm really excited to bring you Dy Owens. She's a podcaster, author, CEO, and mother of four. She has 15 year old twins, a nine and an eight year old that she co-parents with her ex and she is remarried. She hosts the award-winning daily podcast.
Moms don't have time to read books where she hosts swarm, inquisitive interviews with authors and yes, daily 365 days a year, which makes my head spin and is very impressive. She's been called the Oprah of Books and New York City's most powerful book in. She's written a children's book, Prince Charming and released a memoir book ends a memoir of love, loss and literature. With that success, she's now building Zibby Media, but her path has not been direct. Something I love on mom's exit interview, a Winding Path, Zibby opens up about feeling like nothing was firing her up and she felt like she lost her sparkle as she was raising her kids. She's got awesome advice for others looking to create an exciting and satisfying career. And we talk about the importance of authenticity, which she attributes much of her success to. And she also offers awesome productivity tips in general contagious optimism.
Thank you so much for joining me. I'm so excited to have you here.
Zibby Owens (04:16):
Thanks for having me.
Kim Rittberg (04:18):
I know you're at this point like a multihyphenate, but I wanna kind of go back a little bit to how you got into it. So if you can tell me from an early age, what did you envision doing in terms of your career?
Zibby Owens (04:32):
I always wanted to be an author. That's what I wanted. I had this little miniature book published and I was nine and my name was on the spine. It was probably two inches by two inches or something. And I was like, Okay, well this is what I wanna do. So that, that's what I had in mind and it took a really long time. But that's what now I've done <laugh>.
Kim Rittberg (04:53):
I asked Zibi what her career path was because she knew she wanted to be an author and I love hearing all the things that she was interested in and pursued cuz it all comes together. Now in her current
Zibby Owens (05:04):
Career. I wanted to be an author. I started writing for magazines. I interned at Vanity Fair Magazine during college and realized there was no clear path to becoming an author from writing the asserted freelance articles. So I actually got really interested in psychology, which I think is very related to being an author. I majored in psychology. I worked at an inpatient unit in the adolescent inpatient unit and learned more about that. I then went into advertising for a little bit into brand planning and tried to analyze consumers relationships with brands, which I'm also still really interested in. And I was doing a lot of brand development and strategy and things like that, which all related. And then worked at a series of startups because I got really interested in the marketing angle. And all the while I was writing on the side, I was taking classes everywhere I've gone.
I moved to LA for a couple years. I took UCLA extension classes, I moved to New York after I went to business school. And then after business school I moved to New York and took a bunch of media bistro classes and new school classes. And I've always taken lots of writing classes. I went to Bennington for the summer when I was in high school and took a whole fiction writing five week course. So I love taking writing classes and doing writing workshops. I had a writing group, all of that. So I was in it, but that wasn't my day job until after business school I decided to take a year off and to write a book because I had lost my best friend in nine 11. And I think part of it was coping with the trauma, trying to sort my way through. And then I ended up losing a lot of other people close to me that year.
And so all I could do was write and write and write. So I thought that was the time I was finally gonna become an author. But my books then did not sell my book. My first book did not sell and I ended up ghost writing a book at the time, which was great. And it showed me how to get into the industry. But then I ended up taking 11 years off, having kids freelancing, reading, writing, but not working full time in the industry until five years ago when I started writing. I had gotten a divorce, I had all this extra time on the weekends. And so I got back into writing, started writing a bunch of things. One went viral on Huff Post, encouraged me to keep going, and then I ended up starting my podcast and evolving it into what it is today. So that's sort of how I got here.
Kim Rittberg (07:24):
I love that. I love hearing stories from people who their paths are, It's like you kind of don't know where you're gonna end up in five years or in 20 years and you're just sort following the things that light you up. And no matter what the world throws it, you're like, All right, what's next? So talk to me about you. You had just mentioned it, you were getting divorced that sort of got you back into reading and your passion for literature and authors and then that eventually led to the podcast. Tell me a little bit more about that stage, that impetus.
Zibby Owens (07:55):
So it was about a year of freelancing. I had obviously really little kids, this is five years ago. So I was deep in it with all of them and reassembling my life post divorce and had a lot of personal stuff going on. But I wrote a lot about parenting at that time because I really wanted to spend time with my kids and I was overwhelmed with how much stuff was needed to be a parent that wasn't just being with the kids, all the emails and all everything, which is still oppressive, but particularly so with tiny kids who really needed my attention on the floor. And I couldn't just be like, All right, go watch tv. I'll be there in a minute the way I can now.
So I did that for a while and then I was in a new relationship with a man who eventually became my husband and he had seen me write all these articles and said You should really take all these articles and make them into a book. And I said, Oh mom. So no time to read books. And that is how I came up with the name of what became my podcast. At first it was supposed to be a collection of essays about parenting. And so I tried to find a new agent. I had had an agent back in the day, but I tried to find a new agent, which I did. And she didn't like the idea of a parenting book, <laugh> of Essays but she did the way I wrote a lot and wanted me to write something. And she said, I said I was interested in writing a book called 40 Love About Falling in Love Again at 40 with my tennis pro, which is who I ended up marrying.
And she was like saying how much she really wanted to read that book. And I said, I could never publish it cuz it was so private. And she said, Write it anyway, let's see what happens. So I decided to write that book, which I did, but I didn't wanna let go and I was gonna write that as a memoir. Then as fiction and I wrote and rewrote that book a couple times the draft, I ended up trying to sell that book. I went back recently and I was like, Oh gosh, this is terrible. It's so literary and I can write that way, but not well. I can write authentically very well I think, but I should leave the literary writing to the literary authors. I kept doing new proposals to write this non-fiction story, this part about losing Stacy on nine 11. I just felt compelled to get that out. Compelled, compelled. I had to get that story out.
Kim Rittberg (10:09):
Zibi did two anthologies because of the podcast and children's books. Zibby finally published bookends her memoir in 2022.
Zibby Owens (10:17):
So I tried with a new agent even after that book to sell that. This is a long and rambling story, but all to say I had many roadblocks and eventually came up with the linking books to my narrative, which is how I came to bookends, which was the book, the memoir that came out at long last. And I had before that done two anthologies because of my podcast. I had done a children's book, but my dream was really to write this memoir. And finally it came out.
Kim Rittberg (10:47):
I love that. It was a time in your life where it, it's tumultuous, obviously no secret to anyone going through divorce. You have four kids that that's the time when you created Moms Don't have time to read books. What was it like at the beginning of the podcast? How did you decide I'm gonna launch a podcast? It seemed overwhelming. Cause I feel like I know a lot of people who say maybe I'll launch a podcast, and then they really start thinking about how much work is in it. It's actually, it's a lot of work to do a podcast. It really is as I say with my very fancy headphones on What made you decide to do the podcast that would be a fitting distribution channel or a creative method for you?
Zibby Owens (11:27):
I never would've done it. Had a friend of mine not suggested that I do it. And she was a new friend, an author, she's a best selling middle grade author, and she took me to coffee when I was trying to sell this parenting essay book. And she was like, No, I don't think that's your next step. And I was like, Okay fine. And she was like, Give me a little time. I'm really good at thinking about what people should do next. And I was like, Okay. And a few days later we had children at the same school. She was going into school, I was leaving school, and she said, You should start a podcast. And I was like, What's a podcast? Why would I do that? She's like, No, I think you should do that. So I went home and literally sat on the couch you see behind me and was like, How do I listen to podcasts?
Why didn't have the button on my phone? I didn't listen to podcasts. It had never occurred to me to start one. I was like, I love to read and write, What does this have to do with that? But since I had decided to write 40 Love, I had this title still floating around, Moms Don't have Time to read books. So I thought, well, that could be the title of my podcast. And at first I was gonna read articles and essays on it that I thought were great. But I found out that was illegal. And so I pivoted <laugh> and decided to interview authors. I love interviewing people, talking to people I didn't know. I loved interviewing people. I had done it for freelance articles but not in depth at my desk type of thing like this. And I asked a good friend of mine who was an author, if I could do my first episode with her <laugh> test run.
I wasn't scared though. I'm not scared of hard things. I don't mind working hard, I don't mind, I like a challenge. So I wasn't scared about doing it. I was more scared that no one would ever listen to it or that I wouldn't do a good job or I didn't know how I would get the word out really when there were so many podcasts. And that was in 2018. Now there are a bazillion more and yet somehow it worked. So really, I still honestly can't believe it, but I spent a lot of time researching. I listened to a ton of podcasts to see what they were doing, what the really successful ones were doing. Well, I decided to do intro outro music and get sound editors who I found online, they're actually based in Canada. I googled a lot of it was Google and YouTube Best microphone, best podcast app.
I just taught myself how to do it and I just tried it. And then after I did the first one with my friendly carpenter, I realized it was amazing. I mean, I sat here with her at first, it was longer. I was doing them for 45 minutes until I analyzed all the data and realized that the longer episodes didn't do as well. And that not only do they not do as well, but people didn't even start them as often. I think they were intimidated by the length. So I decided from then on only 30 minutes or less but I learned more about Lee then than I knew about her from our years of friendship. And I was like at her wedding, I mean we're friends, but that opportunity to sit here was amazing. And the things I really love about it still, and I'm wondering can if you feel the same way, but it's the only thing I do where I have no distractions, I don't do anything else.
I don't think about anything else. I have to listen really hard in a good way. And my attention never waves nothing. I can't do anything else except do what I'm doing. And I love that. I love just focusing on a person, trying to really understand what makes them tick and who they are and all of that. And I also love doing it from home. So I still have my kids around and I just close the door and I'm like, we could be in the middle of whatever. And I'm like, Okay guys, I'll be back in half an hour. I'm gonna do a podcast. They'll be like, Who's it with? What book? And I can show them the book. They understand, they've come in with me all of them several times and co-hosted podcasts with me over time. So it ticked all the boxes. It was something that used my whole personality.
And after my friend Stacy died, we believed she was sitting at her desk because the first plane hit right at her floor in the North Tower. So I've always believed that she died at her desk. And I decided back then that if I was gonna die at my desk, I had to be bringing my entire self to whatever job I was doing. I couldn't just fill the slot for the marketing assistant at XYZ company. I had to bring me I mean I could have a title, but I just had to do something all me, not the professional version of me, which is sort of like an act. And I'm not that good at acting. So this is it. I mean, this is completely me. I'm not reporting to anyone. I ask people what I'm interested in and it turns out that other people are interested in the same things that I'm interested in.
And other people like to read the same types of books that I love to read, which I knew because I'm always the person people would ask when they went on vacation, what they should read and all that. Still, my friend just picked up a book yesterday for her trip, but it just combined everything, psychology and reading and writing. And it inspired me. I started asking everybody, What's your advice to aspiring authors? I did that question for years and years and years. And along the way I ended up writing books myself with all of that. And I'm still, I'm writing a novel now and I still get all this amazing advice and I'm learning every day and growing and energized. And then I didn't mean for the podcast to become this little media empire I seem to have built here, but one thing has just led to another and it's all unfolded really clearly to me. And sometimes I've tried things that haven't worked and that's okay. I've tried podcasts that didn't work and so I've stopped them. But I like to try things out and analyze what works, what doesn't work, change course. And the things I really want. I just don't give up. So I just keep going and going and going until I find my way, until I find my in <laugh>.
Kim Rittberg (17:28):
I love the idea of if you're doing what you love, what do they say? If you're doing what you love, you'll never work a day in your life. And I think that for some people, if what you're interested in and what you're passionate about is something that fits the marketplace. If I'm the best underwater basket weaver in America, it still might not matter. Nobody might pay me. I might never get a deal with anyone to do a YouTube series or a podcast about underwater basket weaving. But I do think, for me, I've been a creative my whole life. I loved drawing growing up. I was like, I don't think that that's, someone's gonna pay me to draw. I don't think I could draw all day. But the idea of being creative, getting to have a career, being creative, whether that's making digital videos or making podcasts, what a blessing that is.
I think about that. I'm now, I'm teaching people how they can grow with video. I do think when you're enjoying what you're doing and you're passionate about it and it fits in some way in the marketplace, you're like, Oh, this makes sense. And I love how you were saying about advice. I have learned so much from my own podcast. Everyone who comes on their advice, when I'm in a situation I'm like, what did that person say? Oh, Rebecca Minkoff came on. Yes, don't do this. Delegate this out. Rebecca Minkoff would delegate that. Just all of these voices in my head and other moms, just how they struggled and then got back up just I really hear people's voices from the podcast. I think maybe I'm just doing this to get a free master's degree anyway
And I love what you were saying about the kids too. My daughter this summer, I had been driving her to camp. I live in New York City also, so it's a walk. But during the summer I was driving her to camp and she was listening to one of my podcast episodes, I think with your friend Gretchen, by the way, with Gretchen Rivers. And she liked it. She's like, she was listening and she was at that she was seven. And I'm like, How cool is this? I did not think my daughter would be wanting to listen to my podcast. She knows I'm doing it a thing I do in the closed office. But it's really cool, I think for your kids to be able to see and in small ways participate in what you're doing and truly understand. I think some people's jobs are a little harder to explain. Daddy works in insurance and does math for work. They don't really understand. But I think it's a really nice message that you could show them a, it's you can have fun working B, to have them a part of it and they feel connected to you and they feel connected to what you do. I think that's really special. Thank you. You recall the top book. What do you attribute the success to?
Zibby Owens (19:57):
I seem to what a lot of people. So my taste is not so eclectic and esoteric and whatever. And I'm not afraid to say it, I'm not afraid to support any type of book. I think there's a lot of pressure, especially in the publishing industry, to only literary fiction or things that would be in the New Yorker. I like what a lot of people, I get extremely excited about things I, so I am passionate and I think articulate about why I like something and I really represent honestly the things that I love. So I do 365 podcasts a year and obviously anybody, I like some things more than other things. Some books just hit me personally and it doesn't mean they're necessarily the best books of the bunch. Other ones have gone on to one win the National Book Award, but these are the ones that affect me emotionally.
And I think that it's my willingness to connect personally and openly with what I like to read, but also who I am. I wrote a whole memoir, as I said, I lay it all out there, I tell it like it is. And on Instagram I share, not in an exploitative way, I don't, I'm not mining my life to shock people or be overly exhibitionist at all. But the feelings I write about feelings and experiences and when I write about loss or grief, I think people can put themselves in my shoes. And when I talk about a book, they relate in the same way that some of this universality of all of emotion, I really want people to be a part of this. So communicate community is such an overused word and I hate to use it cuz it's not what I mean. I'm not trying to do, I mean do have a Facebook group, but I don't mean the Facebook group. I mean a real sense of an invitation to come on in and join the party. So I think it should all be a celebration and let's have champagne and let's do it. It's all exciting. And I think the underlying message to all of this is because I've had so much loss so many other people, but a lot of loss, particularly in my twenties and beyond, life is short. I'm totally aware of that. I feel like any day could be my last. And so I've chosen to use my time here to connect and celebrate.
Kim Rittberg (22:30):
And it's interesting what you were saying about why you think it's the show has been successful, but also being called the Oprah of books. I do wonder, wow, how does that happen? But I love how you're tying it back to authenticity cuz it's, the word sounds very overused, but the truth is when people connect with someone organically and authentically that can't be replaced by other things. And it's a very powerful tool. And I think whether you are not trying to sell books, but opening, introducing people to a new book or to a new author or bringing people in some other way, I think bringing your self to it and not having that sort of veneer of something else, I think people can always feel that. And you see there's all the advice if you're running your business or I had a jewelry business in my twenties when I would sell the jewelry, I would be standing in Bloomingdale's when I would sell the jewelry and explain to someone what it's made of and what went into it.
They could see that. They can feel the passion versus a salesperson being like, Oh, this is made of golden rubies or whatever, different. And I think to your point about authenticity, people feel that and they connect with it and they know what's real and what's not real. We're all human and we can smell that. So anyway, it's all very cool. It's very, very cool. And now I understand you have Zvi Media, so you're a podcaster and now you have pretty much a media empire. Talk to me about what you're doing with it and then why you wanted to do it. What's your goal with Zvi Media? As of now, Zvi Media has Zvi books, Zvi magazine, which is currently online, but it will be in print and Zvi audio, Audio.
Zibby Owens (24:04):
It's all about stories and connection and books. So books and authors and writers. And it's all a means of connection. So just like with the podcast, when I interview authors every day, and probably with your guests too, it's not really about the book. The books are a way in to talking to someone and connecting with someone deeply. And that's how I feel about this whole thing. That the books are the way in to these sort of soul to soul connections. It sounds so cheesy, but I mean it's something a little bit deeper than just my own relationship with a book I love. I want everybody to be reading the books at the same time. And I think people long for that shared experience. And there's so few things, what is, what's left the Super Bowl? And not even, cuz you can pause it. So it's like there's so little that we all experience together that I would love to experience more together the books. That's why I just did the Zippy Awards. I mean, I'm doing all these fun things cuz why not?
Kim Rittberg (25:14):
And I love that you're with the publishing. What I understand from reading, from researching for this very interview that you're structuring your publishing company to be more generous with authors. And I think a lot of listeners probably, if you've never published a book, you don't necessarily know the back end of it because people think being an author, it's so prestigious, Wow, it's so great, but it's financially very challenging. And in terms of publicizing books, it's very challenging. So I had read that you were structuring your publishing company to be more helpful to authors and help them get the word out, which I think is something that unless you're like, I only know this from working in media, from being in tv, that I would sometimes work with authors on press tours and now I'm more aware of it. But tell me a little bit more about the structure of your publishing company that's different than others.
Zibby Owens (26:03):
Well, one thing that I really believe strongly in is that all of the authors and the team are one big, Sorry, my dog shaking in the back.
Kim Rittberg (26:12):
No, I love that. I just hear the dog collar shake <laugh>
Zibby Owens (26:16):
That we're all a team. So we have profit sharing among all the authors. So if one author has a huge best selling hit, we all benefit. Everyone benefits from it. The team who worked on it and the other authors. So we just did this retreat and everybody, I keep doing things that people are like, Why are you doing this? And I'm like, just trust me. So I did a retreat where I took the whole team and all the authors for a two night retreat in upstate New York and we were able to literally connect in person, the authors, there's this intangible connection that is so valuable. So it's not only about them being on a WhatsApp group, which they are. And I know that other publishers and traditionally they like to keep their authors separate. I don't know why, but not me. But having them all as a team is invaluable.
I mean it's literally invaluable. We all lift each other up, everyone is lifting each other up. And whenever a book is gonna launch, not only do we have our whole team and the 800 plus ambassadors that we have all over the country, but we have this core team of authors supporting each other. So it's really cool. But we're doing lots of things different differently. We're partnering with brands for each book. We're doing experiential book tours. So we might have one stop at a bookstore, but while we're, we will partner with the Indies, we are also going to do things like workout classes and plays and just fun stuff because people wanna do stuff, I wanna do stuff. I don't just wanna stand around and listen I wanna do things. So cuz doing things together also connects people to each other. So experiential book tours we'll have a subscription program in addition to in-store sales at some point.
Again, this ambassador network that we have that will help us sell our book and work closely with their indies. And I just sort of systematically took apart each branch of the book publishing process, publicity. I mean everybody is super involved. We've been on a group email, what should the tagline be? What? So it had a big marketing brainstorm about other people's books, the authors and the team, which brands should we partner with. So it's just completely inclusive and transparent which is not always the case in publishing or really any business. So we feel like the producers and the creatives are essential to the process and we really love, there's just a lot of good will and warmth coming from the whole thing.
Kim Rittberg (28:47):
Do you have tips for listeners on being more productive?
Zibby Owens (28:51):
I like to break my time into chunks. I will say, okay, it's 10 39 from now until 11. I'm going to email and then I'll tackle my inbox and I'll quickly sort it by alphabetically and just go through as much as I can. I will be like, okay, from three till 3 45, I am eyes on the kids, that is it. No distractions. And then I switch gears, I'm like, I'm gonna go do a podcast. So I'm hyper aware of my time, how long I'm spending on something, when I need to do what, I make lots of lists. I have my calendar, a color coded calendar with a million things going on. And I, I'm just very aware of how and when I'm doing everything. That's why sometimes my husband's like, Oh yeah, now we have two hours of relaxation. And I'm like, Okay, well now we have to watch this show. We have to watch two shows and we have to, I mean, thank God for him. He's like very,
Kim Rittberg (29:56):
We have seven minutes to make popcorn and eat popcorn and 15 minutes to drink wine and then the rest of the show
Zibby Owens (30:01):
<laugh>. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, I'm not that crazy just but sort of <laugh>
Kim Rittberg (30:06):
<laugh>, do you struggle with feeling present? And then there are tips that you have to be like, oh no, now is family time. Now is not time to focus on this book or this project.
Zibby Owens (30:16):
So I only have the kids every other weekend because I'm divorced. So when I don't have the kids, I can work basically the whole time if I want or whatever <affirmative>. But this weekend's a good example. I said Friday night I hosted the Ivy Awards here with all my team and my husband and my kids were there dancing around and doing whatever. So they were involved in the whole thing. And then my husband went on a business trip and it was the kids and me the rest of the weekend. And we went to a birthday party of the kids. But then they came with me to check out a resort where I wanna have a retreat and then I dragged them to a book fair that I had to work at for an hour. But they got to read books and hang out. And then we went and saw family and I didn't do emails until two o'clock on Sunday.
And then two o'clock on Sunday, they both had play dates and I got to work we all had dinner, they watched a little TV while I worked, I put them to bed. And then I did more work until about midnight. So I worked yesterday from basically two to midnight. But the rest of the weekend, and even still then I was with them, we were exploring, we were singing in the car together, we, it was so fun exploring and chatting and we had a really good time. So I feel like by the time Sunday rolled around, we're all ready to just chill. And they know understood. I had lots of work to do, but they were all here and my room with me. So yeah, I don't know, that's how I do it.
Kim Rittberg (31:45):
<laugh>, are they with you during the week?
Zibby Owens (31:48):
They're with me. So I have them from Tuesday mornings till Thursday nights every other week. So I mean for 10, I basically have them 10 days at a time and then not four days.
Kim Rittberg (31:58):
You always knew you love books and you wanted to write and your path to getting where you are, which is an incredibly impressive place, an awarding podcast. Now you're building, you're writing books and you're building a publishing company to really support other authors. So I feel like, am I right to say? I feel like you must be living your dream in terms of
Zibby Owens (32:15):
Am I? That's why it's also fun. That's why I don't wanna sleep. I mean I do sleep, but I love what I'm doing. I really do. I do get very stressed out a lot because there's a lot and there's a lot of stuff I can't control. But yeah, this is great. Are you kidding? I mean, it's so fun. We just acquired a book on Friday and it's like, oh my gosh, we get to publish this wonderful book. And then last night I stayed up late reading another submission and that was amazing. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, this book is so good. And I get so excited over and over again. And I had many, many years where I was not excited about really anything. And I felt like, okay, this is life. I'm a stay at home mom and this is what I do and it's okay and I love it. It's my choice and I'm privileged to be able to be a stay at home mom and whatever. But there was nothing firing me up at all. And it really affected me to my core. I was not myself. My mom would say I lost my sparkle. I just was flat. And so all of this sort of lighting up again is a gift. It's just all a gift. I didn't expect it at all. And I am so deeply grateful.
Kim Rittberg (33:35):
What's your advice for other moms trying to find their path? Who feel like you feel not excited about stuff, they're in the wrong position, they don't know what to do. What would your advice be for them?
Zibby Owens (33:46):
Honestly, when people would say to me, Find what you love, I was like, What? No, that's not gonna be a job. But it's not. Find what you love and force it into a job. It's actually do the things you love and figure out if there's a way to connect by doing them. So my mother-in-law loves calligraphy and gift giving and I'm like, You should do that as a business. And she's like this, No, this is just what I do. So I feel like it's fine. I mean she actually did not end up doing that as a business, but I still think she should have. I really think it's finding those things that you're like, absolutely not. What does this have to do with anything? A friend of my husband's loves. I was like, But what do you actually love to do when you're not at work?
And he's like, Well, I really love just playing Frisbee on the beach, <laugh>. But you know what he got? He found the way to work with this Frisbee company and why not? So I think that moms out there. If you used to write, join a writing community, go to a class, Small steps. You don't have to go from zero to 60, just take small steps. Do you love cooking? Go back to a cooking class, join a cooking subscription, something or other. Anything that you like to do in your spare time. Find other people who like to do it. Because once you are with other people and you're in some sort of community around things that you love, good things come of it. You'll get more ideas, you'll band together or you'll just be more in the flow of what's going on. So find things that make you write a list. What are the 10 things that you'd be really sad to stop doing? I'd be really sad not to take pictures or write or read or spend time with my kids or listen to music or go for a walk in Central Park or I don't know, whatever it is. There's a way to make that into something slowly. And you might have to be really patient and it might not turn into a job for years, but you have to start somewhere.
Kim Rittberg (35:55):
Don't forget to check out Ziggy's podcast Moms Don't have time to read books. Her memoir book ends and zibbymag.com and you can follow her on Instagram at Zibby Owens. That'll all be linked out in the show notes. Here's our real mom moment. Life in its happiest, sweetest, funniest, sometimes grossest moments. This one is a beautiful touching story from Abby Rose Green.
Abby Rose Green (36:20):
Hello, I am Abby Rose Green, the co-host of the Herself podcast. I'm also the mom of three. And just a few weeks ago I had a moment that made me so proud to be a mother. You see, in the middle of the pandemic, we had a baby who was born with Down Syndrome. And since then we have been big advocates for our children, our friends and the herself podcast community. Just shining a light on differences and making sure that people know that they aren't bad. It's just something that's different. A few weeks ago we were at the grocery store, the same grocery store we go to every single week. And our six year old daughter out of nowhere turned at the cashier and said, You know what? Down Syndrome isn't a bad thing. Some people are tall, some people are short. Some people have dark skin, some people have light skin, some people have a lot of hair, and some people don't have any hair. And you know what? Some people have down syndrome and some people don't. It doesn't make them any better or worse, it just makes them different. We all have things that make us different and it just filled my heart here. She was being a little advocate for her own brother and for everybody who is like her brother. And it's something that is just instilled in her little heart right from the start. And I know that I had a piece of that.
Kim Rittberg (37:28):
Wow, I just got major goosebumps. Thank you Abby, so much for sharing that beautiful story. And if you wanna submit your own Real Mom moment, check out ww.kimrittberg.com and don't forget to sign up for our newsletter. And now that you've made it to the end of the show, a round of applause. If you like this podcast and you need help creating great content for your business, check out kimrittburg.com. And if you like the podcast, tell a Friend, it'll help spread the word and grow our listenership so we could create more of this amazing content.
Thank you so much for listening. We wanna hear from you. Tell us what topics you want us to cover and what questions you have for upcoming shows and experts. We will read everyone and we will use them. You can find us everywhere. Go to www.kimrittberg.com, scroll down to find the contact button, or you can DM me on Instagram at Kim Rittburg. Or you can leave your feedback right inside your review in the podcast app. Please follow the show in Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen and leave review in a five star rating. And don't forget to share it with people who will find it valuable. It's truly meant to be a resource. And this is Mom's Exit interview. I'm your host and executive producer, Kim Rittberg. The show is produced by Henry Street Media. John Horowitz is our editor, and Aliza Friedlander is our producer and publicist.