Ep. 56/ Get That Raise & Charge Higher Prices with Crystal Ware
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We have a corporate superstar to an entrepreneur, Crystal Ware here with us, and she's got advice for you on how to make more money and how to get a raise at work. Crystal is redefining what it means to become your best self in business career in life. Crystal is a lawyer, an entrepreneur, and an investor. After spending years in corporate America, she found the courage to leave her lucrative career and invest in herself. Along the way, she's learned so much about getting clear on your purpose, owning your worth, and living life on your own terms that she launched her own podcast, Get Clear with Crystal Ware to help other women get there faster.
Plus Tosha Shore from Parenting Boys Peacefully shares a funny story about communication and juggling.
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In this episode you will learn:
Advice for asking for a raise
How to position yourself to charge what you want as a business owner
Ways to be confident in your pricing
Show Takeaways:
Do you want to make more money in your business or get a raise at work? I think we all do!
We have a corporate superstar to an entrepreneur, Crystal Ware here with us, and she's got advice for you on how to make more money and how to get a raise at work. Crystal is redefining what it means to become your best self in business career in life. Crystal is a lawyer, an entrepreneur, and an investor. After spending years in corporate America, she found the courage to leave her lucrative career and invest in herself. Along the way, she's learned so much about getting clear on your purpose, owning your worth, and living life on your own terms that she launched her own podcast, Get Clear with Crystal Ware to help other women get there faster.
Plus Tosha Shore from Parenting Boys Peacefully shares a funny story about communication and juggling.
“You do have to ask, if you don't ask, you'll never get.”
“The hardest part is taking the first step.”
“It’s so important that you ask the right questions.”
Follow host Kim Rittberg on Instagram!
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EPISODE LINKS:
Listen to Get Clear with Crystal Ware Podcast
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Crystal (00:02):
Literally put my head down and started crying one day at 3:00 PM How can I keep doing this? This is not reasonable.
Kim (00:08):
We have a corporate superstar to an entrepreneur, crystal Ware here with us, and she's got advice for you on how to make more money and how to get a raise at work.
Crystal (00:16):
You do have to ask, and if you don't ask, you'll never
Kim (00:19):
Get. Plus how to position yourself to charge what you want as a business owner.
(00:26):
This is Mom's exit interview, the show for moms who want to craft the career and life they want. Each episode, you'll meet inspirational moms across various industries and levels who are working and living life on their own terms, and they'll bring you actionable tips from finance to business development to happiness, to crushing that imposter syndrome. I'm Kim rit. I was a burnt out media executive at Netflix, US Weekly and in TV news. I wanted a career where I was fulfilled at work but present at home with my kids. So I started working for myself and I love it, but not every day was easy or is easy. I wanted to explore with all of you how other moms were creating careers on their own terms. They're carving out flex jobs, starting their own businesses, they're taking back control. Join me and make work, work for you instead of the other way around.
(01:29):
I'm really excited for everyone to hear from Kry. So Crystal Ware is a good example of when I teach my clients how to become a thought leader and how to grow their business through video and podcast. I really try to teach 'em. It's a mindset shift that putting yourself authentically as a guest on people's podcasts and authentically on social media and really being yourself can bring in your tribe. What is it? Your vibe attracts your tribe. So Crystal is someone who heard me on a podcast and she reached out to me on LinkedIn and said, your story really resonated with me. You working through your delivery of your second child and my water broke at work. Or maybe she said, I tried not to have my water break at work. But anyway, it was very funny and I totally was like, oh, she and I should connect and know each other.
(02:14):
She ended up taking my video bootcamp class and she's really crushing on social. She has a podcast and is growing her business and I just love that it's perfect example because I think people think, oh, you just like post a video. You wait for someone to respond. It's not about that. It's also about engagement and being active, but also showing up authentically. Really over many months after I've shown up on podcasts more, the podcast I was on that Crystal found me on was one of those ones I really finally felt like, ah, I'm finding my voice. I'm bringing all of Kim, like the funny part of Kim, the part of Kim that's looser and not the part of Kim that just shows up and teaches people things, but rather the whole Kim, the one who can laugh at herself, the one who's more vulnerable, more open, and the word authenticity makes me laugh.
(02:58):
It's like so trite. But really once you really tap into what is unique with you and making sure that's kind of always vivid and always at the forefront has really, really catapulted my personal business. And so Crystal coming into my world and my orbit through me being authentic reminds me to remind people, be authentic, show up as yourself a show up, but show up as yourself and keep in mind what makes you special and unique. And speaking of that, if you are looking to be seen as a thought leader, grow yourself as an expert in your space, you should reach out to me. You could check me out@kimwritbird.com or drop me a note at Kimberg, K I M R I T T B E R G on Instagram. And I have lots of free goodies. I have amazing free tips to be better on camera and how to make amazing videos.
(03:47):
So don't forget to grab those. And without further ado, I'm going to introduce you to Crystal Ware, who's based in Houston and has three kids, ages six, eight, and 10. And you're going to learn about her and you're going to learn from her. I am so excited to have Crystal here with me. Okay. Crystal and I met, and I talk about this all the time, people don't realize this, how you can make new connections through social media, real ones through social media. Crystal and I got connected because I was on a podcast and she came in and connected with me on LinkedIn and she sent me a message that our stories are so similar and we're going to have so much in common. I was like, yeah, okay, maybe cool. We connect
(04:25):
My video bootcamp and I was like, oh my god, crystal and I have so many similarities. I love her. She's such a spitfire. So u unbelievable. I don't mean that as I'm so unbelievable. But anyway, I love Crystal. I was so impressed by her. So I'm so excited to bring her on the show. I'm going to introduce her. Crystal Ware is redefining what it means to become your best self in business career in life. K Crystal is a lawyer, an entrepreneur, and an investor. After spending years in corporate America, she found the courage to leave her lucrative career and invest in herself. Along the way. She's learned so much about getting clear on your purpose, owning your worth, and living life on your own terms that she launched her own podcast, get clear with Crystal Ware to help other women get there faster. Crystal, thank you for joining us.
Crystal (05:06):
Absolutely. I'm so excited to be here
Kim (05:09):
And I really love your story of how you've a switched, but also that you came from this background that's not necessarily this Fortune 500 upbringing and then you're really crushing it in corporate. Talk to me a little bit about where you grew up and what you saw yourself doing.
Crystal (05:28):
Yeah, so it's really funny. I am from a very, very working class family. If anybody has seen Urban Cowboy that is, my parents went there, literally that bar that they went to in Urban Cowboy is in the town that I'm from. So really blue collar. My dad went to a two year program after I was in junior high. So my parents didn't go to college, but I always had this big grand idea for what my life was going to look like. Maybe not spelled out in details, but I really had a vision for the life that I wanted to leave, and I just thought, I'm going to make this happen. So I went to college. I was originally going to be a doctor and then realized, oh my God, to be a special cardiologist, I'm going to be in school until I was like 50.
(06:09):
So I thought I really like helping people. What else could I do to help people? I'll go to law school, I can learn something in law school, I can help people, undefined help people. I didn't have this grand vision of I was going to be a partner at one of the top four law firms or anything like that. I just really wanted to help people. So I went to law school, became a lawyer, and as you know, I would say 50% of my friends say it. It's terrible. Like billing your time, day, hour and hour. I think people like my one friend who has beer and wine and writes the best briefs ever as he's drinking and sitting around with people, if you can bill your time that way, kudos to you. That was not me. So I quickly shifted gears and I think staying open to the possibilities that could and where my life could be have led me on this really great corporate career.
(06:58):
And I went into insurance, and then I went into corporate working between insurance and legal and kind of climbed up the corporate ladder with the vision that I was going to be a vp. But what that meant to me and what I was seeing while I was there is that my time wasn't my own. My initiatives were not always my own. You had this big bureaucratic machine and I wanted to make things happen and I wanted to see things really be changed in ways that you can't change in corporate. And that made me ask myself, what am I really doing here? What is the purpose of this? Is there a bigger purpose for me? And after thinking about that for quite some time, I made the decision to leave and start my own business.
Kim (07:40):
And so when you were a vp, what role was
Crystal (07:42):
That? I wasn't a vp. I wanted to get to be a vp. Right, right. I was a manager. That was the next kind of step that I would be taking in how to position that. But I was doing corporate insurance running a hundred million insurance programs between two different Fortune 500 companies.
Kim (08:01):
And when you were a kid and you had decided that you wanted to be a lawyer, was it more just I want to be successful and be independent? Is that the sort of thing that drove you being from where you were from, you're just like, this is my path. Would you have friends whose parents were lawyers? I always feel like you get colored by what you see. My dad ran a computer company. I was like, I don't want to do that. He ran his own business. I was like, this seems really hard. And also I'm terrible at computers. And I saw my dad actually, he was an immigrant, and so he was a super hard worker, worked all the time. And so that I was very respectful that how hard he worked, but I didn't want that for myself. I was like, this seems exhausting. And you never see your family. So for you, how did you get the idea to be a lawyer? Do you have friends parents that were lawyers and that inspired you?
Crystal (08:47):
No, and in fact, I thought all the people that did have family friends or whoever that were lawyers that knew the path were, it was much easier for them to be successful in law school than it was for me. I did not know any lawyers, I didn't know anything about it. I just decided that I wanted to be the boss, that I wanted to have a certain level of income and that I wanted to be an expert. Those were kind of the things that drove me and then wanting to help people. And I thought, well, if you have the knowledge, if you have the capacity and you have a certain level of expertise and cache so to speak, that you could then use that and leverage that to help people in whatever avenues you wanted to. And I did, and I did use that to help my internal clients when I was at the company. That's what I always thought of it is I'm finding solutions for my internal clients and I'm problem solving. But no, I didn't know any lawyers.
Kim (09:38):
It's interesting. My mom went back to law school. Yeah, I was wondering because I do feel like, you know, see what's in your zone when you're a kid. Like these are the options for me based on what's in my eye line. My mom went back to law school actually when I was in middle school. She took the bar when I was in law school. Wow. Which now that I have kids, I'm like, how did you do that?
Crystal (09:57):
I mean, seriously, kudos to her. That is a huge feat to do when you have especially big kids that are active and busy and Yeah,
Kim (10:06):
For sure. And so talk to me about shifting to work for yourself. So what was that moment and what'd that conversation look like between you and yourself, you and your partner or whoever?
Crystal (10:18):
I think it started when we were stuck away in Covid and I had all of my work to do, and it's sometimes hard to explain because there was not the verbal pressure of you need to show up 40 hours a week. But as you and I have talked about before, it's this internal pressure that you have a team reporting to you. You needed to be doing these things, you need to be pulling your weight. So I was sitting there homeschooling my kindergartner, dealing with my pre-K child and my two-year-old, and then trying to show up on Zoom 40 hours a week and be available to people around the world because it was a global company where I just literally put my head down and started crying one day at 3:00 PM How can I keep doing this? This is not reasonable. And trying to find those balance and those boundaries and figuring out, I've got to take care of these people at my house, but I need to take care of my clients and I need to take care of my business. And I think that really was the catalyst for me that said, there's got to be something different. There's got to be something more. There's got to be a way that I can have more time, more autonomy, more resources and more freedom to do something that I really love and it was passionate about. So when did Covid even start? Now I forget.
Kim (11:25):
20 20 20. I forget 2020,
Crystal (11:28):
But it was halfway through 2021 before I left and my company became my first client. So it still was a process for me, but that was, I would say the catalyst on what shifted and drove me to wanting to move into my own business. And then I had been doing corporate insurance. So that is what I knew, that is what I understood. That's what I really felt most comfortable with, even though I wouldn't say it's necessarily what I was super duper passionate about. So I started my own insurance firm doing consulting and working with small and mid-size businesses where I'd been working with large and ultra large companies before.
Kim (12:06):
And what was the hardest part of going out on your own?
Crystal (12:10):
The hardest part without a shout out of doubt, do not even have to pause or think about that one. It was actually taking the first step to say, I'm going to leave my corporate job. I'm going to let go of this comfortable, really nice six figure salary and start my own thing. That was without a doubt. And maybe it was because I was a lawyer and I had enough experience in the business world that I understood how to set up a business and how to run a business. It was just leaving. That was the hardest part.
Kim (12:37):
It's funny, when I was thinking when I was going to work for myself, I think that I had earned $4,000 in freelance consulting in what I would then be my business. And I was thinking, how's this going to be a career? How am I going to money? Who's going to hire me? So it is that idea of is this going to be a thing? I like what you were saying earlier about the law degree. I think we probably graduated around the same time from college. A law degree was the thing that so many people went for graduate degrees. It's like it's a good base of knowledge when you think about legislation. It's all based in law, business, all based in law. I think it gives you the underpinnings to understand business. So my mom went to law school, both of my brothers went to law school and they're not practicing anymore, but they have that understanding of a contracts and I don't know, I just think it's a smart move to have that basis, especially when you launch your own business. It's always that foundation.
Crystal (13:29):
And when we think about, and I know a large part of what you do, Kim, is helping people build up their story and getting out their expertise. And I do have to say that I truly think having those letters after your name, it does lend yourself to expertise no matter what area you are an expert in. And so when you say that, it just makes people stop and pause and think, oh, well, I'm going to listen to what they have to say. And the reason for that is that it really is hard. Law school is not easy. Taking the bar is not easy. What I thought was really my biggest takeaway and what I loved that happened in law school was the way I learned to learn. They don't teach you how to learn that in undergraduate. If I always tell people, if I knew how to study in learn the way I did in law school in undergrad, I would've been the top. I would've had the highest GPA in undergrad because you learn how to take away the relevant information, let the rest of it fall away, and then ask pointed and good questions. And that is going to lead you to success really in anything that you're doing, asking the right questions when you're getting into an interview, it's so important that you ask the right questions. And that's really what I think law school does a really good job
Kim (14:48):
At. I agree with you so much about the credentials of having a JD after your name, an MD or whatever. And I actually, I've been teaching people about messaging and branding and one of the things I tell people is you have to brag whatever your credential is, whether it's their certificate or a graduate degree, a fancy brand name client or anything, it's very hard to position yourself as a different, better, different, you should hire me. So I think that's very helpful. When I was younger, I had a jewelry business and people would say, oh, that's nice. My grandma makes jewelry. And I'd say, oh, does your grandma also sell her jewelry at Bloomingdale's? No. But you know, have to, yes, having those credentials, working towards those credentials, you have to let people know who you are because it's crowded. It's a noisy world. I'm,
Crystal (15:34):
Hold on, I just have to laugh because my grandmother also does make jewelry,
Kim (15:38):
But people would be like, oh, my grandma makes jewelry. And I was like, that's so cool. I think, honestly, I love
Crystal (15:43):
That creative,
Kim (15:43):
But having a creative outlet is the best thing for anyone, whether you're seven or 97, it's so great, but when you're running a business that's a jewelry business, and someone's like, yes. Oh, my nanny makes jewelry. I'm like, oh, okay, well cool. But my jewelry is in women's wear daily. I don't mean to brag, but I've been working really hard at this. Yeah,
Crystal (16:01):
Okay. Yeah, it's different. Yeah, it's
Kim (16:03):
Different. Okay. Talk to me about Crystal 4.0. So we were Crystal who had a law degree, left law, went into insurance, then left insurance crying at her dust during Covid, started her own insurance business, and now you've shifted into something else. So talk to me about what Crystal 4.0 looks like.
Crystal (16:23):
Yeah, so I always had that desire that I really wanted to run a company, but what I realized in there was, and you just TA touched on it, Kim really is, it's the creative outlet. What did I want to bring? I think when we're kids, we fall away from the creativity that's not practical. It doesn't pay the bills, you're not lauded for being creative. So I let that part of me go, and I think that's really what I wanted to do. And so I wanted to have these interesting conversations. I wanted to ask our hard questions. I wanted to bring stories of other women experiencing the same thing that I experienced in having support and comfort in how to let go and move into this new direction. And I knew that the right way to do that for me was in launching a podcast and then starting to work with women in coaching and in developing and in asking for a more money because I realized in prepping for my podcast and setting up my website and looking at the avenues that I wanted to support women in that, one of the biggest hangups for women, especially women like you and I who had a certain level of income in corporate, the hangup for moving forward was going to be money.
(17:35):
So how do we talk about money? If you want to shift into a new career, whether it's a new business or starting a new job or going into a new industry, how do you get amount of money that you need to feel comfortable and realize that there is a real gap? I mean, we hear about it on the news all the time, the wage gap, but what we don't see is solutions in how to practically deal with that. And so that is really what I'm focused on in Crystal 4.0, which is get clear with my podcast and newsletter and all the other things that we're working on for that.
Kim (18:06):
I love that. And I think it's amazing. One of the things that has been really amazing to me and refreshing since I've launched my own business, but definitely since launching Mom's exit interview, is meeting all these other women and having everyone be transparent about money because that's something that was very opaque in the corporate world. Not only did you not know what people earned, you felt like you were going to go to the principal's office if you asked or if you told your own, it was like a no-no when I was in corporate. And so I would love to hear from you. I know you have some great advice on women either in corporate asking for a razor promotion, and then separately I'd love any advice you have about money taboo in general.
Crystal (18:43):
Yeah. So this might be I, I'll start with what the unpopular opinion is because I agree with you being in corporate for many years, it benefits the company to not have people talking about salaries. That is a benefit for them. The unpopular opinion I have to share is I don't think there needs to be legislation to say mandating you are going to say what everybody makes. I don't think I need to be, here's crystal ware nameplate and then here's my salary. What we need to feel comfortable in, because there is no law against this, is discussing our salaries, at least with our friends, our family, our secondary tier. Now, whether or not there's legislation that comes out about corporate having some rules around that, more rigorous standards, that's one thing. But saying that we're going to have a list of everybody's salary that is not practical.
(19:35):
And personally, that's personal information, right? It's up to you. But if you want to make the most amount of money that you can make, you should pry around. And so I just like the email I sent you to your LinkedIn inbox saying, you know what, Kim, I really like you and we are simpatico and we're going to be friends. That is just how I lead. And so when I wanted to understand where I sat, I would ask interesting questions. I would not walk up to somebody and say, what is your salary? But I would ask little questions about the director that sat next to me about what was your pay, your last position, what was your stock incentives? What were your bonus structures? Did you get paid out your bonus at 80%? A hundred percent, 200%. And it felt very comfortable to people to talk about something, especially when it was their prior job, you know, weren't necessarily asking about full on salary. So you have to kind of educate yourself in where you are in the company, where other companies similarly positioned to yours are. And you can do that easily by asking people. And usually when you have a little bit of a friendship with people, they're not going to be that adverse, especially I think with what's above millennials, gen Z, is that the Gen Z below?
Kim (20:50):
So it's Gen X or millennials. There we go.
Crystal (20:52):
Whatever. Gen X
Kim (20:53):
Millennials. Yeah, yeah.
Crystal (20:54):
Gen X and below do not seem that resistant. The baby boomers don't ask baby boomers, okay. They are totally in that mindset of we don't talk about salary. We are corporate people and God bless them. That's what my parents are. I had great relationships at corporate with all of my baby boomer. I was very good at making relationships with people on the spectrum, but don't ask them about salary because they don't want to talk about it. But I think that's where it starts, is talking about it and then reading up on the free resources online to understand what similar positions pay and what they pay geographically. It's really interesting, and I know because you're in New York, I'm in Houston. One point that people would be very surprised to know the pay difference in Houston. In New York, Kim is usually only five to 10%. How much is the cost of living difference?
(21:40):
20, 25%. The gap has closed more because Houston has gotten a lot more expensive in the last five or 10 years, but the pay is actually not that much different because it is so competitive for jobs in Houston, and there are so many Fortune 500 companies in Houston that the pay is just not that much different. But you do have to realize those nuances and really educating yourself and just asking, at the end of the day, ask some HR people will try to lead you astray. And I think that's terrible. I don't know why they want to do that, but I think for the most part, if you asked pointed questions of hr, what are the bands, what are the categories? What are the pay within those categories, and how would I need to move to this and da, da, da, da. If you just start asking those questions, whether it's in your interview or if you're already in an existing position, you will start finding information and then it's incumbent upon you. And this is the most important thing you have to ask. You have to put yourself out there. The answer may be no, but you do have to ask. And if you don't ask, you'll never get. And I think that's where, especially when it comes to corporate, the problem we find with women is that they just aren't asking
Kim (22:51):
For the raise. You have to ask for the raise,
Crystal (22:52):
Yes. Or for a specific amount of money. They may dance around what they want to make and then just wait for the offer. You haven't set the stage for what you want to make. And usually if you are at a just below manager or above position, they have wide pay bands. I mean, it could be, I'm just going to throw something out there, but one job could be 50 to a hundred thousand. That's a $50,000 difference. If you're just waiting for them to make an offer to you, you are leaving a ton of money on the table.
Kim (23:22):
Talk to me about, so that's advice obviously for if you're in corporate or you're at a job and you're looking for a raise. When you advise as a coach and you help women who are running their own businesses, what's your advice in terms of money and what to charge and all of that for people who are working for themselves?
Crystal (23:38):
I will tell you that I've experienced this for myself because when I moved out of the big company insurance realm, I could have gone into insurance brokerage for larger companies. And when you're working on that, one client is going to pay you a lot more. It's probably similar to what you have if you're working with a corporate client or if you're working with a small business owner. I moved into the small and mid-size space thinking, I have all this amazing technical knowledge. I can really help and move the needle and make their businesses sharper with the skill I have. But what that also meant was the total amount of money was less. So when you think about where you're going, whether it's a product consulting, what your pay skill is going to be, we need to first and foremost remember that the work is the same no matter what the income level is for the most part.
(24:31):
So if you focus on something that is going to be mid-tier category and above, it may be harder for you to have the confidence to start selling yourself or the product, but once you start getting traction, you are going to ramp up to the level of income that you want much quicker than starting. And a good example of that, if we just talk about a digital space, is if you're going to do a 5 99 ebook or you're going to launch a course that's $599, the work to gain 10 clients is usually going to be the same, but you're going to have 59.99 in income or 59.99 in income. So think about where you want to position yourself. That's the first point. And then you have to have the confidence to stick with your pricing. And I always lead with, and I actually have told a client this before, I just don't seek to be the cheap person.
(25:24):
I'm not cheap. I have a lot of skill. I've developed a lot of knowledge base and expertise, and I feel comfortable, and I don't want to be the cheap person. So if you want to work with somebody cheap, it's not going to be me. And I think you just have to know where you are along the food chain and where you want to be and start at there, have confidence and make sure you hold to the pricing you set forth, because people are always going to question it, always ask for a discount, always ask for something else. You have to be comfortable with that.
Kim (25:51):
I love that. And I really love, you're very straightforward and you have such a bold personality. I think it's very helpful to have a person that you can lean on that's like, this is how it is not my strongest suit is not in pricing. It's not in, I'm only good at knowing what to charge. If I look at a Google spreadsheet and I say, oh my God, if I don't charge this, I only make that. That's my number. I don't have that inner knowledge. I don't have that inner confidence. I've always been cheap with myself, so that's hard. But I love that this advice is very concrete and you, you're like, I'm going to tell you what to do. And so I'd love to hear how can people work with you. So are you going to offer some courses? I understand you have a course coming out in the late summer, early fall.
Crystal (26:33):
Yes. So I'm going to have a course that is going to be titled to be Determined, but it's basically going to walk you through how to ask for a raise or how to negotiate your salary or how to set your pricing parameters. If you are in sales, either digital sales, physical sales, consulting, you're selling yourself all in the spectrum of those things. And so it'll lead you from point A all the way to point Z. And then we'll offer some add-ons if people want me to either walk them through mock negotiation, mock interview or just lead their hand through the transition. And how do I set up my skills? How do I set up my resume? How do I ask for the things? Or if I'm going into my midterm review or annual review, how do I set up my accomplishments in a way that says, you cannot say no to my request for a raise? And so we'll be offering all that. And then I'm working on some group coaching efforts to probably, it will probably be around some kind of Monday morning motivation where people can set up their week and what are their goals for the week, whether it's in sales or other accomplishments that they need to get done to meet with other like-minded people in just starting their week off.
Kim (27:48):
I love that you have so much experience and background. You know, were in corporate and now you're working for yourself. So you have that perspective of both, which I think is really, really helpful because are differences, but there's so much similarities definitely in financials, definitely for women with money. And I don't like to stereotype, but I'm for sure always had money, taboo, always had, everything feels very shrouded in mystery around that. And so I love that you bring all of this experience and you're so open with it. You're like, here's what I've experienced. Here's how to do it. This is what people won't say, this is what people will say. So I'm sure it's super, super helpful and your clients get so much out of it.
Crystal (28:24):
Yeah, I really think the tangible takeaways speak for themself and what people can accomplish and what they can do and what they can bring to the table. One of my clients that I just worked with was actually a vp and she was moving into a transitional, the job itself was probably comparable level of a job, but she ended up with a 10 or 15% increase, which would probably amount to, I'm just guessing, I don't want to say exactly where she was at, but it would equate to about a $50,000 raise in already a high level income person. And not only that, but we were able to help her take her skills where she did not, if there was 10 requirements in the job on paper, she only met four or five, but I knew that she could do the job. I knew that she had it within her.
(29:12):
And so we talked about that. We talked about what she probably needed to highlight in the interview and in her email communications and where she would probably get pushback. And sure enough, she got the offer and then negotiated. She did not take the first pay and she was very transparent about it. And I think sometimes that transparency just really works in her favor. Some people like to play games, but if a company really wants you, they are not going to play games. If they are playing games, that's probably a sign to you that it wasn't meant to be. So I think there will be real tangible for everybody from the course itself. And then of course, if people want to work with me separately. And the other thing I love talking about, if you want to hear more about it should be on the podcast at some points, but it's just for women in investing because that's the other thing that I grew into in my life and career is how do you diversify? And once you're at a certain earning level, how do you do something different that's really going to take your family to the next level? Maybe not in two or three years because we're not the Rockefellers over here, but with a long-term strategy, maybe we could elevate our family's position in 10 or 20 years and leave a different legacy for our family. So
Kim (30:18):
I love that. Awesome. And so I'm going to be linking out all of that in the show notes and we have get Clear with Crystal Wear podcast and all of the opportunities to learn from and get coached by and take a course with Crystal. Thank you so much for joining us. This was so fun.
Crystal (30:30):
Absolutely, Kim. Thanks so much and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week.
Kim (30:36):
And Tasha Shore joins us. She is the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully, and she has a funny story to share about communication and juggling, which leads to a great lesson.
Tosha (30:47):
When one of my boys was little, he was learning to juggle and he was doing with apples, and every once in a while the apples would fall. And as you can imagine, they hurt when they land on your toe. And we said to him, Hey, it might be easier to go do it with socks. And so he was like, yeah, that's a great idea. And he was probably five six, I don't remember exactly, but he ran into his bedroom and he came out and he was holding his apples and he was super excited and he started juggling and he was standing there with two socks on his feet and everyone just busted out laughing. And I share the story because it's a story about communication. Obviously. Our intention wasn't that he go put socks on his feet, but that he come juggle with socks rather than apples so that they wouldn't hurt when they fell on his feet, whether it's apples or socks, that makes no difference obviously.
(31:31):
But a lot of times when we're in communication with our kids, there is something that has consequence. And I think what's really important to remember is good intent. That's that. There are a couple things to that are important to remember. One is good intent. So my suggestion would be that whether or not it's about apples or socks or a curfew time or whether or not homework needs to get done or hurting another sibling even, I would say the best way to approach it is by starting out with the assumption that he or she or they are doing their best always. And one of the reasons that's IMP is important is because it helps us access our empathy and it keeps us out of that blame mode that those feelings all come up where we want to just shame him and blame him and get angry at him.
(32:17):
But if we remember that that child is doing their best always, we can have empathy for that child, we can put ourselves in their position, we can come from a place of love and a desire to help. The next thing that I would say is really important to do is to ask yourself, what can you do in that position next time that will help things go better? So oftentimes we want to try to change somebody else. We want to get our kid to behave differently, to act differently, to say differently, to say something different. And essentially, it's impossible for us to control any other being whether or not it's our child, but we can absolutely control ourselves. So it's much more empowering for us to say, Hey, if I want to be clear in my words next time, what could I say? Right? So in that situation, in the example that I gave, I could say, Hey, you know, why don't you go roll some socks up into balls or grab a bunch of socks and we'll roll 'em into balls for you so you can juggle with socks instead of the apples. Then it won't hurt when they fall on your feet. There's no room there for the confusion that then happened. And like I said, it doesn't really matter if it sucks or apples, but a lot of the things that we're dealing with are of more importance. So I hope that's helpful.
Kim (33:32):
Thank you so much for listening. Make sure to drop a review, and if you want to send in a real mom moment that we'll share on the air, check out moms exit interview.com. And if you're a professional or small business owner looking to grow your brand through amazing content with no silly dances and with no burnout, check out my website kim whitford.com and you can hit contact chat with me. And thanks for listening. Like this is the most amazing community. You guys send in the best feedback. So share it with your friends. Let anyone know who you think would appreciate it. And this is Mom's Exit interview. I'm your host and executive producer, Kim Rittenberg. The show is produced by Henry Street Media. Jillian Grover edited this episode, and Eliza Friedlander is our editorial producer and publicist. I'll see you next time.