EP. 6 / Rebecca Minkoff on business, parenting & that time she got drunk in an airport
SHOW NOTES:
Rebecca Minkoff - Designer, Entrepreneur, Female Founder Collective co-founder and mom of 3 - has advice for budding entrepreneurs about how big to grow your business (don’t just look for ‘bragging’ rights!), how to delegate smarter, and has sharp and unique spins on parenting -- like we should stop trying to ‘control’ our kids and definitely don’t use child leashes!
I loved talking with Rebecca Minkoff because while her business has 900 stores worldwide, she is committed to helping other female founders and she said she wanted to be a “present” parent to her children. Rebecca is candid with me about what it takes to run a business and a household and opens up about her own business regrets.
Rebecca also weighs in on what women should do to get their partners (husbands or spouses) to do more housework, plus a hilarious round of rapid-fire questions reveals her cringe-worthy embarrassing parenting moment! Plus serial entrepreneur Shannan Monson, founder of NuuWork has a sweet story of her kids cheering her on as a businessperson.
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Takeaways:
On how big you should consider growing your business and whether to seek out investor funding (and by the way “small business” is still tens of millions of dollars in revenue!)
“What is wrong with being a profitable, healthy business that gives you the income you need to live your life to enjoy it? Is this the, excuse me for saying this, the big d*ck contest where it's bragging. What comes along with that is a lot of stress, a lot of headache, more so than, let me build a beautiful profitable business… I'd rather live a really great life at this point and be a smaller company that works hard and you get to enjoy it.”
Work-Life Balance
“You need to delegate on both sides. What are you terrible at? What is the highest and best use of your time?”
On how to network better:
“I think that a lot of times people will think that they need help from someone, whereas they can get that information mostly online. You can listen to that person on every podcast or magazine interview. If you still feel like they haven't answered your question and you have the opportunity to be in front of them, like make sure you're asking them something that truly will transform your business…. (You should ask me) What factory do you recommend in New York city? Or how do I get a list of boutiques?”
“And then I think ask yourself, what can you do for them? There's always something you can do for that person. And if all it is is a beautiful, thank you note, or some flower sent after they help you, like that goes a long way.”
Different ways to get funding for your business besides venture capital:
Shopify, sell a collection of NFT’s, file yourself a women-owned business, there are special grants available for that or minority-owned businesses
On the division of labor in households and getting partners to do more housework:
“Shame on you for not having an honest conversation with your partner about splitting duties and equality within the household.”
“It is on us to say ‘I made the dinner, you do the dishes…. I do think women need to be more vocal.”
Parenting
“Let them be these tiny adults and stop controlling them.”
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EPISODE LINKS:
GUESTS:
Rebecca Minkoff | Female Founder Collective
ShannanMonson.com | Shannan Monson | NuuWork
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Kim Rittberg (00:01):
International designer, entrepreneur and mom of three, Rebecca Minkoff is here. We talk about business parenting and so much more. If you're considering growing your business, Rebecca has some great thoughts on that.
Rebecca Minkoff (00:17):
I'd rather live a really great life at this point and be a smaller company. What is wrong with being a profitable, healthy business that gives you the income you need to live your life to enjoy it.
Kim Rittberg (00:30):
She has advice on networking, smart, creative ways to get funding for your business while still maintaining control and useful tips on work life balance.
Rebecca Minkoff (00:39):
You need to delegate on both sides. What are you terrible at? What is the highest and best use of your time?
Kim Rittberg (00:47):
Rebecca has a strong perspective on the division of labor
Rebecca Minkoff (00:50):
Shame on you for not having an honest, honest conversation with your partner about splitting duties and equality within the household.
Kim Rittberg (00:57):
Honestly, this interview gets raw. You'll hear some bleeping of curses, and it's funny. We do hilarious rapid fire, and she shares her cringeworthy super embarrassing parenting moment.
Rebecca Minkoff (01:10):
I was drunk and yelling at my kids, probably a little louder than I should. And then this girl came up and she's like, are you Rebecca Miro?
Kim Rittberg (01:20):
And then you're like, no, I'm not Rebecca Minkoff.
Rebecca Minkoff (01:24):
<laugh> I'm Stacy London.
Kim Rittberg (01:27):
<laugh>
Leave your lanyard and swipe card at the door. Welcome to moms, exit interview, a podcast for moms seeking fulfillment and contentment outside the traditional nine to five, whether you're considering taking the leap or you're already mid-air, this podcast is for you. You'll meet moms who are consultants, entrepreneurs stay at home moms side hustles and part-time workers across various industries and levels. Plus every episode will have experts with tips so you can turn your inspiration into action. I'm Kim Ritterg. I was a Netflix executive and former head of video at us weekly, and I'm a mom of two. I quit the corporate world and I've never looked back, but I'm still on this journey. So join me. We don't need a boss to give us permission or a promotion to lead the lives we want. Before we start, please follow the show in your podcast app and leave a rating, five stars, please. And a review. That way it can reach more people. I really appreciate it. So today let's be real. I'm wearing a Rebecca Minkoff shirt. It's white with eyelet, and I also have my Rebecca Minkoff wallet and my purse. I am very excited cuz she is our guest today.
Kim Rittberg (02:50):
One of the most recognizable names in fashion, Fashion, Mogul, turn debut, author, Rebecca Minkoff, the amazing Rebecca Minkoff.
Kim Rittberg (02:58):
This icon is a designer and entrepreneur. She has three kids, 10, seven and four. In addition to running a massive fashion company that has 900 stores worldwide. She also co-founded the female founder collective an organization dedicated to enabling and empowering female owned and led companies. Plus she's got a podcast called superwomen. So in this interview, there's some cursing. There's some really funny, rapid fire. And I get honest about when I do or don't let my kids eat off the grimy streets of New York city truth. Rebecca has some incredible tips on how to integrate work and life creatively is to finance a business as you scale. And she's very honest about the balance of labor in her house, which included three weeks where her husband solo parented, you're a self-made entrepreneur at 18 years old. You went straight to working for a designer. Um, that sounds like a really like intense and challenging time. Can you describe to me a little bit about what that time in your life was like?
Rebecca Minkoff (03:57):
Yeah. I felt like I'd watched all my peers go off to college. Uh, I did some college tours. I felt like that wasn't a fit for me. Then I had a group of friends, my closest group of friends decided to take, uh, a gap year and go to Israel. And I remember wanting to do that so badly, but also feeling like I had to get started. I had to get working right away because I just was missing out on what I don't know. But I had this feeling like I'm missing out on, on this career that I've dreamt of for so long. So I moved to New York when I was 18. I had a paid internship when I say paid, it was minimum wage, which was like $3 and 25 cents an hour, nothing glamorous. Um, but it was enough money that I could eat and I slept on the floor of my cousin's apartment in exchange for watching her daughter. So, um, that was how I got started. And I, you know, even though I had no money and didn't know anybody, I was like elated to be in the city, working for a designer and sort of beginning my career.
Kim Rittberg (04:57):
And then, you know, I think a lot, a lot of people know, maybe I know, cause I've, you know, read about you known about you, you know, you, you started designing and then you had like a big, you know, the, the it bag that, that handbag, that like really blew you up quickly. And at some point, you know, as you're scaling and it's really hard and you'll sleep on your friend's couch, like, was there a point at which you said, you know, I wanna give up, this is like really hard and, and it's, it's too hard.
Rebecca Minkoff (05:19):
Oh my gosh. There's so many points. Uh, it doesn't, it doesn't end just cuz like from the outside you've made it, um, there's so many points where you wanna give up. I mean, anytime it feels like you can't overcome this challenge, believe me, I wanna give up, but then I also go, well, what am I gonna do? What's my fallback. And I could never figure out what that would be or what would make me satisfied. So I'd have to like dust myself off, pick myself back up and, and get back to it. And it still happens to this day. You know, when we have challenges, whether it's supply chain issues right now, or migration of our website, like all, you know, or you know, the wrong shipping inventory entered incorrectly and you watch, you know, huge dips in your business or, you know, financial things that could, could crash a company. Of course you wanna give up, but it's sort of like, okay, get back up, dust yourself off. This is what you wanna do. This was your dream. Come on, let's go.
Kim Rittberg (06:14):
Is there one specific moment you think back? And you're like, that was just the lowest point. Like, you know, everybody has that, you know, I was in a closet and I was crying or, you know, do you have one of those sort of visceral visual moments that you look back to?
Rebecca Minkoff (06:27):
Uh, I have many, uh, I think my, the one that's sticks out is sort of the, I mean, there's so many, I guess the first big one was we had just started making our product overseas. We had a really big trade show, um, and a, and a photo shoot for the line sheets for the imagery, for the trade show and all the samples came in wrong and there wasn't any time to change it. Um, and I just remember crying, you know, begging the factory owner. Like how could you, how could we have spent this many months working on these samples and we don't, we didn't make here because you said you got this, you make for Kate spade, you make for Tory Birch, you make for Michael Coors. How could we be here when my show is in 10 days? And that really felt at the time, uh, just like, what do you do? How do you come back from that? Um, and he, he had to get on a plane and go to China and fix it because there was no other option. Um, but at the time that felt like, well, what will we do with all the wrong samples? And nothing's right. And the bags don't look like bags. It's not like you could fake it.
Kim Rittberg (07:31):
I saw a great quote from you about networking, which I think is like super important for people trying to build their business. It's obviously core to, you know, building the business, finding clients, all that stuff. Um, how do you recommend someone leverages contacts, like be clear in their ass? Like what, what are your tips for networking?
Rebecca Minkoff (07:50):
I think that a lot of times people will think that they need help from someone, whereas they can get that information mostly online. You can listen to that person on every podcast or magazine interview. If you still feel like they haven't answered your question and you have the opportunity to be in front of them, like make sure you're asking them something that truly will transform your business. I can't tell you how many times someone will come up to me who wants some advice then? Like, how did you get started? And like, if I have 10 minutes to spend with someone, that's the last thing they should be asking me, it should be like, what factory do you recommend in New York city? Or how do I get a list of boutiques? Um, you know, just things that can dramatically change your business. And so I think, um, overall networking is, is viewing of growing your communication lines and getting them further out. And so sometimes you might not be ready to ask that person for something right away, but beginning relationships, you know, growing and tending to them is really key because when you do need that thing from someone, you, you already have a preexisting relationship. You've already had a dialogue back and forth. And um, I think that makes for a much smoother ask when you do need something. And then I, and then I think ask yourself, what can you do for them? There's always something you can do for that person. And if all it is is a beautiful, thank you note, or some flower sent after they help you. Like that goes a long way.
Kim Rittberg (09:15):
I've sent a lot of people, uh, LA van cookies and they always love them. <laugh>,
Rebecca Minkoff (09:19):
You know what I love LA van cookies. So that is a great, you, you know what, I'll take those over flowers any day
Kim Rittberg (09:25):
When you prioritize your time and commitments, you know, you have three children and you have a huge business. How do you prioritize? Like, do you have sort of like a top level priority? Is there something in your mind that you like go to a mantra? Like how, how do you balance? I'm sure you're always being pulled there's things. The kids need, there are things the company needs, like how do you prioritize?
Rebecca Minkoff (09:46):
So I think it's, it's safe to say that this happens over a gradient and it happens over the course of multiple children. Preki I worked, you know, all the time till midnight weekends. It didn't matter when I had my first born, I really made the decision that I wanted to be a very present mother. So I'd end my Workday very promptly. Let's just say at six, uh, I'd have him come to the office while he was breastfeeding to see me during lunchtime. So I could keep the feeding in. Um, and I had to figure out how to sort of offload decisions, um, and make people responsible, even if that was uncomfortable. Uh, and then over the years, as you have more kids, you start testing where your boundaries are. And I think too often we look at what other people are doing and assuming either good things are bad things about them.
And you're like, how does this all work? But I think you have to go, okay, what's comfortable for me. And what's uncomfortable for me. And how do I begin to put things in place to where now those are firm lines, whether it's, you know, if I was ever gonna leave my kid again, when I was breastfeeding, which I did a lot with all of them, you know, if I was gone for more than three days, they came with me. Is that more of a pain in the ass on me? Yep. Is it more tiring? Of course. But that was a decision I made to be able to be with my child and have them, you know, experience the world. They got to go to Korea and China and Italy and London and France and you know, it, it, yeah, I lost a lot of sleep.
Yeah. I had to be the one on the airplane, shushing them, you know, for nine hours, uh, standing in the galley. But I think as I look back, I was with him for such important moments, whether they remembered or not. And so figure out what works for you and what doesn't, and, and what things, you know, are just gonna fall by the wayside, you know? Um, and then as your kids needs change and as your schedule changes, um, and they want different things, it, it opens up. So I try and leave it fluid, but I definitely have my boundaries these days. I'm really firm about not working after a certain hour, um, weekends. Uh, so I think I had to do that because work will never cease. Um, but I also know if, if I'm not curing cancer, so <laugh>, uh, but that's very different advice than if you're just starting out. If you're, if you have kids and you're just starting a company, you're gonna have to really, it's gonna be a struggle because I know what it takes to launch a company and it takes everything. So I don't have great advice for moms who are trying to do both at the same time.
Kim Rittberg (12:20):
So I is that kind of the answer. It's like, if you're trying to build a big business and you have kids, it is hard and it's like, they're gonna be a lot of hours. And if you wanna make it big, it's just, it's hard,
Rebecca Minkoff (12:31):
It's hard and there's gonna be sacrifice, you know, and you have to decide what's worth it to you. Um, and you know, again, to each their own, I think if you have kids that are slightly older and they're in school and you can focus on the business all day, be with them for a couple hours, get back online. Like I don't know of another way to build a company. Um, and there were many years where I didn't just stop at six. You know, that is, that is a more recent activity than I'd like to admit.
Kim Rittberg (13:01):
I've been meeting as a part of this podcast, interviewing women sort of pursuing diff all different sorts of paths. What are your thoughts on building a business and keeping it small? You know, like you were saying, it it's really hard to build a business and you do have to sacrifice a lot. Is there a way to have your own company and sort of keep it in a manageable way? Is that, is that a, a thing you see as being like a possibility?
Rebecca Minkoff (13:23):
So I think the unfortunate thing about the last, I would say five to 10 years is you see all these women, big companies cover of magazines. I raised this, what no one is saying is that in a lot of these deals, a women give up control, they lose future equity of their company. They, what people don't realize is there are still some companies that have been, you know, all flashing big that are still losing money and don't really know how to become profitable. And so I think that we become accustomed to this. It it's only a success if I'm huge. And I go, well, what happened to the small business, you know, movement within America, which is small businesses can still be big 25 million in under is considered a small business. What is wrong with being a profitable, healthy business that gives you the income.
You need to live your life to enjoy it. And, and, you know, is this the, excuse me for saying this, the big Dick contest where it's bragging. Uh, but what comes along with that is a lot of stress, a lot of headache, uh, more so than, let me build a beautiful profitable business. Let me make sure I have product market fit and I'll scale to be a certain size and I'll hone down on my consumers and give them a great experience. Like, I don't think anything's wrong with that. And yet all around us, it's just people bragging about, I raise this, I ha you know, I'm worth this and I just go, okay, I'd rather live a really great life at this point and be a smaller company that, um, you know, works hard and you get to enjoy it.
Kim Rittberg (15:03):
I think that's really helpful. So thank you. Um, you had mentioned earlier about being present when you're home. One of, so we did a survey for this podcast and obviously there's millions of articles. One of the biggest complaints from parents for the survey for mom's exit interview podcast was that they struggled to be present. And so you talked about, you know, turning off at six and coming home and being with your children, do you find it hard to unplug from work and plug into home? And if so, how do you, how do you, um, how do you make it? How do you make that shift better?
Rebecca Minkoff (15:30):
Yeah. Uh, I do struggle with it. I'm not gonna lie. Um, when my kid is like, mom, I just want you to play dinosaurs with me. I'm like, Ugh, that'd be so great if I could sit there and play that with you and not be thinking about the fires. Um, the only thing I can say that's helped me recently is I, I recently took three weeks away from children and husband, uh, partially for work and partially for some health things. And I missed them so much. And I just said, you know what? I have to figure out how to shift that mindset. I, I cannot take this time for granted when they want to be with me and they wanna play with me. So since I've been back, which is about a week, I feel like I just, I just put my phone in another part of the house and I really try and create and add to it versus going through the motions.
And I think that's been helping me a lot. Um, but then, you know, there are the times when something's on your mind and you can't get it out of your head. And I just try and not think about it, but it creeps in. I have something I'm dealing with right now that is like taking over my entire thought process and I can't get it outta my head. And so I'm doing the best that I can, but I don't know that it'll ever go away, especially because you know, your business is like your, your third baby or in my case, my fourth baby,
Kim Rittberg (16:50):
What are some tips you have for moms who are trying to integrate work and life in a healthy way,
Rebecca Minkoff (16:55):
You need to delegate on both sides. What are you terrible at? What is the highest and best use of your time? Um, and if you're saying, well, I'm a single mom and I'm a solo entrepreneur. Well, I applaud you <laugh>, but I think that you have to figure out how you're gonna delegate and what are you gonna sacrifice in the beginning to delegate, you know, um, because it's impossible to, to run the household, um, and to grow your business without other brick layers. There's so many, so many bricks you can lay in a day. And so whether it's interns that get college credit in the beginning, that's what I had. I didn't have employees. I couldn't afford them. I could barely afford to pay myself, you know? And then how do you grow those interns and you, okay, good. Now I can pay you minimum wage.
Great. What, what else am I terrible at? Who's better at this than I am. And I think you need to build your team inside the household and outside the household to help you do what you do best. Yes, I could be doing the laundry and cleaning, and that would give me the hero's award, but guess what? It's not the highest and best use of my time. I pay for it. It is, you know, expensive something to add, but I just, at certain point you just go, okay, if I can make more money focusing on what I'm doing in work, and also be a more present mom by eliminating those two things. Great. So I think you just have to go through your life. And again, this all happens on in gradient, you know, um, and just to keep it real, like I was married with roommates, we had to have roommates in order to pay our rent. Um, and, and we claim the house ourselves, like all these things sort of, as you grow the company, you say, okay, now highest, best use of my time, both inside and out, what can I afford to do? How do I get there? And I'm a big fan of writing things down and making plans and goals written down, because then I can remind myself of them visually every day of like, okay, yep. Working towards this. And how do I get there
Kim Rittberg (18:50):
For moms who run their own businesses? What are your tips for them as they scale their business?
Rebecca Minkoff (18:57):
I think for the scaling part, um, there are creative ways to fund growth. And I think, again, we're blindsided by needing to go to a VC and raise money. I think you could look at crowd funding. You could look at selling a collection of NFTs that funds your next phase of growth and gives those NFT purchases access to fill in the blanks. I think there's friends and family. I think there's, you know, in the beginning, my brother mortgaged his house and used his credit cards. I'm not saying you should do that, but there are there's grants for minority and small women own businesses. You should get certified as a women own business so that you can take advantage of those. I think there's lots of, um, different avenues to get capital where you still maintain control and you get the capital, you need Shopify as loans. Now, if you have an econ business where they just take a X amount of every dollar, you pay it back. Um, so I think that you can be creative and that gives you control and, uh, offers people a lot of, you know, bridge steps to growth, um, to get to the next level.
Kim Rittberg (20:06):
Do you ever feel mom guilt?
Rebecca Minkoff (20:10):
Um, I used to, and now I feel dad guilt <laugh>. Um, so I had to, I had this project, um, back last year where it consumed me for a good six weeks and a lot of the lift fell on my husband and my kids were fine and they recovered quickly from my focus being on this project. But I was like, oh man, he's really help. He's doing a lot. And I felt bad for that. And some somehow, thank God I'm free of the children guilt now. Um, and now it's like, when I'm putting the load a lot on my husband, I feel bad and we shouldn't have to it's it's ironic. I came back from that project and everyone was like, oh man, poor Gavin, man. He really was in it. And then he had to leave town for three weeks and no one was feeling sorry for me. And no one gave me an award. It's like in the airplane when the dad's, you know, quieting the child, they're like, oh, best that ever. But when the mom is doing it, it's like, that's your job. So I thought it was very ironic. Even my close, very woke friends were like, man, he really gave it his all. So, uh, so yeah, that's, that's my latest is dad guilt.
Kim Rittberg (21:28):
It's like, if my husband like will be carrying one of my kids on their shoulders and everyone's like, Ugh, like silent round of applause. And then like, I'm carrying my 50 pounder and my 30 pounder on my back and one on my front. And I'm like getting them to the car and people are like, looking at me. I'm like, yeah, no, that's the normal thing like this exactly metaphorical and literal weight that we always carry. But you know, yeah.
Rebecca Minkoff (21:50):
My husband just says, the bar is so low for men that it makes him look really good. Uh, he just is like, the bars is really low for us. So if I'm doing normal, like 50% of the job, I look like a hero. And I'm like, you do, cuz I have a lot of friends and you know, it's not, it's not, they're not pulling 50% of the weight.
Kim Rittberg (22:09):
No, it is true though. I mean, I agree. It's like, wow, you made your kids lunch and you knew what to put in. Yeah. We all live together. <laugh> we know our children's foods and, and tastes and preferences, you know? Um,
Rebecca Minkoff (22:23):
But that's, but also sometimes that annoys me, like when I hear women complaining, like I'm all the emotional labor I'm like, first of all, no one forced you to have a kid and shame on you for not having an honest, honest conversation with your partner about splitting duties in equality within the household. Like if you don't have that conversation, then don't have a kid. You know? And I think that it is on us to say, if something, you know, Hey, I do need, I made dinner, you do the dishes I'm gonna cook. You're gonna clean. And those conversations are uncomfortable, but you signed a contract of marriage with that person. It's bound to be uncomfortable sometimes. So I do think women need to be more vocal. There are things I think genetically that just come to us that we maybe assume that the other sex knows and they just don't. Um, and so they have to be taught or they have to be spoken to about it in a non confrontational way, a very loving way about how to, you know, how to do stuff. And, and I think that makes it easier on everybody.
Kim Rittberg (23:21):
One of the best advice along that lines that I got when I had a baby is someone was like, don't nitpick. If you make your husband think that how he handles your baby is wrong. Do you think he's ever gonna change a diaper? Like, do you think he's ever gonna wanna like let you on that work trip and be with the kid for three days? No, he's not gonna have that confidence that really stayed in my mind. Cuz I think sometimes we feel like, oh, I'm, I'm mentally planning it. Even if I'm not doing every errand, like I'm the one on top of the schedule. Well, let them in more also like let them in more and, and let them feel confident in that way. Also, you know, like say, Hey, I also do the passive aggressive routine. Sometimes. Sometimes I'm like, this is your list. Like you have a week to do it. I'm not gonna look at it. It's not on my thing. Just do it on your own terms. If it's me, I'd do it in 24 hours. But you know, I'm just like, do it. I'm not gonna do that thing. So maybe that's passive, not passive aggressor. It's just passive <laugh> totally.
Rebecca Minkoff (24:11):
Or, or recognize like I know in my house I find the babysitters, I do the schedule, I do the camps, whatever he [inaudible] fixes the fridge and makes sure the internet works and you know, sets my son up with basketball and skateboarding. Like I think there's, there's a very easy way to do a division of duties again, if you communicate well about it, it doesn't mean they have to be like, we should all do the things we're better at. I think frankly, um, and Eve Roski is a great book called fair play. Like if you, if you don't know where to start, you can literally do flashcards with your partner and you can figure out who's doing what and who do does it better. So I recommend that book a lot.
Kim Rittberg (24:51):
That's beyond funny, um, that, sorry, that just made me laugh. Do you think it's a little easier cuz you already had a big successful business by the time you had children. So your husband, there was an expectation. Like you have a lot on your plate, you have a very big job. Like do you think that the balance of labor was UN not unspoken, but it was clear like before you had children that he would be at least an equal participant at least.
Rebecca Minkoff (25:17):
Um, you know, when I, when we started dating, he was my meal ticket, you know, I was depending on him to be the big successful rock star. Um, I had an intern, so like we definitely were hustling at the same time and building our companies at the same time. And he had a very successful agency that he sold. And so I think that it wasn't an expectation of one being more successful than the other. Um, I think it was just his genuine interest in being a very present father and us being very honest about like everything here is 50 50 and this is how this, this household is gonna work.
Kim Rittberg (25:54):
Do you have regrets or anything you would do differently looking back?
Rebecca Minkoff (25:57):
Yeah. There was a period of time where, uh, you were watching like Kate spade become a billion dollar brand and to Birch and Michael Chos and all these brands were starting to make these jumps. And there was a conversation in my office between my president, um, my co-founder and I, and it was like, do we make the jump or do we stay small? And I was like, what is wrong with a small profitable, beautiful brand then giving us giving it all and just doing what I knew would take to grow big, which at the time was a lot of compromise. Um, and they both said, turn it off the pot, the train's leaving the station. And I acquiesced. And I said, well maybe, maybe being that big will feel great and we will, I'll be rich. That was, you know, uh, and I was so tired of the struggle that I thought that that was my solution.
And what, what we did is we spent a lot of money to grow, um, in a very unhealthy, not profitable way. And then I'll never forget the day that investors said, actually we wanna a profitable company. We don't care about growth. And we were like, cool, well, we didn't build that. We built, we built an unprofitable company, which is how a lot of, you know, you look at Amazon took them how many years or Uber, like there's companies that just never make money and figuring out how to make money when you're that big can sometimes be very difficult. And so I will forever regret that mentality that we had to take to do that because I think we could have been a healthy, profitable, beautiful company without all of the chaos that, that goes into building a company built on debt.
Kim Rittberg (27:36):
Is there anything specifically related, related to parenting that you wish you knew earlier? Best advice you got, anything like that? Like looking back you're like that is the best thing someone told me or you learned on your own?
Rebecca Minkoff (27:47):
Um,
I think the not taking it too seriously and not trying to hold onto too much control. Um, I watched some parents that are so controlling and it's like maybe the one part of their life they can control and I'm watching them build kids that are gonna have a lot of issues. And I think, you know, I guess the analogy I can make is with my first kid on the airplane, like the steward has touched his hand and I was like, oh, germs, oh my God, I can't believe that Stewart felt like she could touch my kid. And then my second, who was a terrorist, uh, was on the plane. And I remember she was on the floor. She was pouring ice onto the seat and then eating it. And I was like, if this [inaudible] makes you happy, like great, you know, to the third kid of like, Hey Stewart is, can you hold the kid while I pee? So I think when you just sort of like, let them be these tiny adults and like stop controlling them. Not only are you less stressed out, but like they have better immune systems. They feel more free within the confines of the family. Um, and it's just easier.
Kim Rittberg (29:03):
We also live in Brooklyn just like you and my rule, my mental rule is like dry food on the New York city street. Five second rule, wet food or fruit garbage. That's my role. <laugh> I love it. Rapid fire, surprising skill. You have,
Rebecca Minkoff (29:21):
Uh, geez, surprising skill. Um, I can do lots of random accents for my kids and I will not do them here.
Kim Rittberg (29:29):
<laugh> because you'll get canceled after that's just kidding. Yes. Yes. I also used to do accents. My dad would think it's so funny and now I can't do it. Everything I did sounded somewhere between like India and France. It was bad.
Rebecca Minkoff (29:40):
I, I call my husband, uh, when he talks to anyone of a foreign language, I call it universal Ukraine because he, he talks. I'm like, you can't just go into an accent. It's the same one for everyone. Like you can't do that. It doesn't work. It's not like they understand you better. And he's like, I really think they do. I guess I shouldn't say Ukraine right now. Cuz I said this before the Ukraine, but it just felt like he goes in this like Ukrainian accent that he thinks works for any person of any, any descent.
Kim Rittberg (30:07):
Mine is, mine is like a Israeli. It's like French and Israeli mixed together. <laugh> it's not great. Um, a surprising hobby or a surprising fact about you.
Rebecca Minkoff (30:17):
If I had time to read, I love books and I hate the women on Instagram. They're like my book file near my bed. I'm like how, where do you find the time? In the [inaudible] day? I tried to read two pages yesterday and every five seconds. It was mommy. Mommy. Hey mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom. So I, I would love some silent reading time.
Kim Rittberg (30:38):
So I feel like that's the sort of thing. Like you need to like rent one of those rooms, the padded rooms with no noise where no one can be with you for like one hour and you can read.
Rebecca Minkoff (30:45):
Yes. Yes. I would love that.
Kim Rittberg (30:46):
Oh, that's what they, that's a new business idea. It's just a silent room.
Rebecca Minkoff (30:50):
Mom's reading room. <laugh>
Kim Rittberg (30:52):
<laugh> I'm gonna open that in Brooklyn. I'll I'll I'll go to the female founders collective I'll I'll raise some money and it'll be the mom's reading room
Rebecca Minkoff (30:59):
MRR. Yes. You'll be booked solid for months.
Kim Rittberg (31:02):
<laugh> I'm not. I really think so. Um, a any, uh, your embarrassing parenting moment.
Rebecca Minkoff (31:11):
Oh, this is good. Um, I was at the airport and I probably had a few too many drinks, uh, while waiting for a flight and I I'm just gonna say it. I was drunk and yelling at my kids probably a little louder than I should. Um, they were really misbehaving and then this girl came up and she's like, are you Rebecca Minkoff? And I was like, ah, the dumb that's like the drunk lady yelling at her kids. So I, I would say that that was, that was a low point. I was like, never again. Am I gonna do this?
Kim Rittberg (31:48):
And then you're like, no, I'm not Rebecca Minoff
Rebecca Minkoff (31:51):
<laugh> I'm Stacy London.
Kim Rittberg (31:54):
<laugh> is that the person you get confused
Rebecca Minkoff (31:56):
For? No. Now it's um, the, the house renovator uh, Joanna Gaines. I only get Joanna Gaines now.
Kim Rittberg (32:04):
Oh yeah, you should definitely be like I'm Joanna Gaines and my hands are so tired for bovine. That's why I'm being so mean to my kids right now. Come on. <laugh> um, she seems nice. She wouldn't be mad. Um, <laugh> a, a hobby that keeps you seen that you wish you could pick up again.
Rebecca Minkoff (32:20):
Uh, dancing. I used to be a dancer and I would love to do that. I think that's one of those things. I go, okay. When my kids are 12, 13, 14, and they want nothing to do with me. I'll I'll go take dance classes again.
Kim Rittberg (32:32):
Maybe we could be maybe the mom's reading room, which is a silent closed room where no one can bother you. Maybe that can also be used for so solo
Rebecca Minkoff (32:38):
Dancing. I love that. That
Kim Rittberg (32:40):
<laugh> something you hate
Rebecca Minkoff (32:43):
Leashes on kids. You're not, you're not raising dogs. They're not your [inaudible] pets. And I will go down at like the, I have to withhold myself every time I see a person holding their kid on a leash. I wanna be like, hold your kid's hand. What's wrong with the hand?
Kim Rittberg (32:59):
<laugh> I thought you were gonna say leashes on dogs. I'm like, no leashes on dogs are a must. And you know
Rebecca Minkoff (33:04):
<laugh> yes, but not children. And I don't care if you try and hide it with the [inaudible] fluffy bear, like whatever, like you're either you're not doing something right. If you can't control your kid, that much
Kim Rittberg (33:14):
Something you love.
Rebecca Minkoff (33:17):
I really love croissants. And I'm gluten intolerance. I'm I'm having withdrawal symptoms right now.
Kim Rittberg (33:23):
Your first online email or messenger name?
Rebecca Minkoff (33:27):
I think it was Tudy
Kim Rittberg (33:29):
<laugh>. Okay. That was probably your AOL. Like that was maybe your AOL instant messenger name.
Rebecca Minkoff (33:35):
Yes. That would've been oh yeah. Was it
Kim Rittberg (33:38):
2d from, uh, facts of life?
Rebecca Minkoff (33:40):
It was, I really like 2d from facts of life.
Kim Rittberg (33:43):
Oh, well that's a great fact about you
Speaker 5 (33:46):
<laugh>
Kim Rittberg (33:48):
She was the one on the roller skates, right? Mm-hmm
Rebecca Minkoff (33:49):
<affirmative> yeah. Yeah.
Kim Rittberg (33:51):
Were you a good, were you a roller skater as a
Rebecca Minkoff (33:53):
Kid? Definitely not. I like roller blades, you know, the nineties and the neon and the rollerblading. That was, that was, that was the thing.
Kim Rittberg (34:00):
This was a really, honestly such a fun chat.
Rebecca Minkoff (34:02):
Aw. Well thank you for having me.
Kim Rittberg (34:05):
So here are my takeaways, Rebecca Minkoff is pretty darn cool. She definitely subscribes to the five second rule. Just like me, or you can eat something off the floor. If it hasn't been there too long or isn't wet, like ice cream. Okay. Don't tell my husband, <laugh> some actual real takeaways, delegate, whatever you can. If you're a business owner, really think about how big you want to build your company. And there are several different ways to fund it. And on the home front, be vocal with your partner about what you need them to do. And don't be too precious about how you raise your kids. As Marie Antoinette said, let them eat dirt. Oh wait, that wasn't her phrase, right? <laugh> I love ending with a short story from a parent. This one is from Shannon Monson, a serial entrepreneur, educator, and founder of NuuWork, a flex job platform. This was her moment that she realized she was doing something right.
Shannan Monson (34:58):
I remember feeling like very guilty about, uh, working early days of my career and heard my kids put, having a pretend business selling plants, um, after they'd just like worked a Saturday at the farmer's market with me. And that is one of the moments that I really like remember like, oh, okay, this is I'm having an impact. They've just like always been my biggest cheerleaders. And I think for a working mom, there's like nothing sweeter than that.
Kim Rittberg (35:23):
Thank you so much for being here. Wasn't that a fun show with Rebecca, please. Don't forget to follow the show in apple or Spotify or wherever you listen, please also leave a five star rating and review and share it with people who will find it valuable. I mean, who wouldn't find the show valuable? And I love getting feedback on what resonated. So drop me an email or direct message. You can find us everywhere. www.kimrittberg.com or on Instagram at Kim Rittberg, or you can leave that thought inside your review in the podcast app. You think that a good place. This is mom's exit interview. I'm your host and executive producer. Kim Rittberg. This show is produced by Henry street media. John Hallit is our editor and Eliza Freelander is our producer and publicist. We'll see you next time.