EP. 8 / The world’s weirdest jobs and how making less money makes us feel with Momtourage hosts & financial tips with Bobbi Rebell
SHOW NOTES:
Momtourage hosts Keri Setaro & Ashley Hearon-Smith will have you laughing so hard with their worst jobs (and mine too which is related to the boy band Hanson. Yes the ones who sing MMMBop). Plus they talk about time management (one’s a night owl and the other prefers a more set schedule with discipline), have their own unique spin on answering ‘what do you do?’ and get real about how your relationship and self-worth is impacted when your earnings take a hit. Then Bobbi Rebell, author of Launching Financial Grownups has financial advice when you start working for yourself as a business or side hustle. Then Mother Untitled Founder Neha Ruch shares an embarrassing work story that takes place in front of hundreds of medical professionals in a hotel!
LISTEN BELOW! And don’t forget to ‘follow’ and leave a rating & review!
Takeaways:
Momtourage’s Ashley Hearon-Smith and Keri Setaro
As an actor, Keri has done some work in promotions - one included a job in New York City dressing up like a cow and serving people milk in their coffee out of her fake udders!
Ashley has a story of rushing President Bill Clinton for live TV (eek!)
I share when I was a college student and hired to do ‘digital marketing’ for the boy band Hanson (of MmmBop fame)
Keri gets real about how money impacts her esteem: “My self-worth is very much wrapped up in being an independent woman” so “ I need to make enough money on my own.”
Time Management - My Tips
I liked hearing from Ashley and Keri how they manage their time to juggle various projects as producers, and hosts. I have always been a creative person and like to work when inspiration strikes but jobs and children do not allow for the 10 PM - 2 AM writing spree! They both shared how they do their work and how they structure their time.
My time management tip: I block similar tasks together. If I have several errands or productivity related tasks, I schedule them on one day in one chunk. If I need to do ‘deep work’ like writing I schedule a 2-3 hour block, which also allows for some daydreaming and settling in time. Shifting from busy work tasks into creative work or deep work is hard for my brain (and most of our brains) so I try to put in my calendar in a way that will be productive and not frustrating. (I really don’t feel like calling the plumber now, I’m writing!)
Bobbi Rebell’s financial tips to start your business
Treat it like a business, set up an invoicing system, get separate business credit card, set up an LLC or sole proprietorship
Connect with a tax professional so you can get the proper deductions
Bobbi’s advice on what to consider when starting your company or side hustle
1: Figure out your priorities “There was a time where I just was making the same money as it costs to run my life, I was break even in my career. But I needed to be break even because I needed a placeholder job - there is nothing wrong with that know, just know where you are
2: Assess what people will pay you for
3: Look at the marketplace and see what people need
4: It does not need to be your passion “You don't have to always love it if it's for the money…Your passion may not be as much fun when it is a business so just think carefully about that one.”
Related Episodes: Listen to our episode with Neha Ruch of Mother Untitled and Dr Lisa Damour about how to be comfortable being in career or life transition, how to shift from full-time work to being stay-at-home (or something in between), how to figure out what you want and how to not compare yourself to others.
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SHOW LINKS:
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EPISODE LINKS:
Momtourage Podcast | Hosts: Keri Setaro @kerisetaro & Ashley Hearon Smith @Ash Hearon Smith
Bobbi Rebell & her book Launching Financial Grownups | Neha Ruch of Mother Untitled
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Kim Rittberg (00:01):
Get ready to laugh because the hilarious hosts of the momtourage podcast are here. They're talking about their weirdest jobs ever at one time for multiple days in a row, dressed up like a cow, walk through Bryant park, giving people coffee ate out of my utters and Coffeemate flavored Coffeemate would come out and they talk about the highs and lows of working for themselves and how they make sure they're filling their cup and doing creative projects that fulfill them while still being the primary caregiver. They also discuss how your self worth can be impacted by your income. Then certified financial planner. Bobby rebel is answering your financial questions about starting a business or a side hustle.
Kim Rittberg (00:47):
Leave your lanyard and swipe card at the door. Welcome to mom's exit interview, a podcast for moms seeking fulfillment and contentment outside the traditional nine to five, whether you're considering taking the leap or you're already midair. This podcast is for you. You'll meet moms who are consultants, entrepreneurs stay at home moms with side hustles and part-time workers across various industries and levels. Plus every episode will have experts with tips so you can turn your inspiration into action. I'm Kim Rittberg. I was a Netflix executive and former head of video at us weekly, and I'm a mom of two. I quit the corporate world and I've never looked back, but I'm still on this journey. So join me. We don't need a boss to give us permission or a promotion to lead the lives we want.
Kim Rittberg (01:47):
First of all, I have loved hearing from so many of you and I'm gonna be reading out your questions and comments on air. So first off, Jennifer sent us a question asking, can I take my foot off the gas a bit in the interest of family or self-care without completely losing out on future rewards. That is a great question. And our second guest, Bobby rebel has a great thought on that. So make sure to listen to that and remember to please follow the show and drop and review in a five star rating. It helps it reach more people. And obviously if you like the show, it would be awesome. If you could share with your friends and now cancel your tickets to that comedy show, because the pair behind the momtourage podcast are here. Ashley has a son. Who's five. Carrie has a daughter.
Kim Rittberg (02:28):
Who's three who, by the way, wasn't feeling so well. So she makes a few cameos throughout the interview because that is life as a parent, right? Carrie and Ashley, both juggle a lot. They have a lot of professional projects happening. So they had great perspective on answering the, what do you do? Question and balancing their time. We also talk about money and how your relationship and self-worth gets impacted when your earnings take hit. And you absolutely have to hear about their worst jobs. And I also share mine, which, uh, is kind of strange and also involves the music band Hansen. Um, somehow Carrie had utters and was dressed like a cow in New York city. And anyway, I cannot even do it justice. So you have to hear it. So my name is Keri Setaro and I'm one half of the duo of mom, Tara, and I am also a actor yoga teacher, meditation teacher, former celebrity nanny. I mean, I've had a lot of, of jobs. Um, yeah, I was a big TV film theater, voiceover actor, yoga teacher, bartender, celebrity nanny now podcaster.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (03:39):
Uh, my name is Ashley Hearon-Smith. I am the other half of the duo Nona's mom. Kind of like what Carrie said. Um, additionally I have a background in television production. Uh, I now produce things on my own and I'm a talent, uh, an on camera podcast, host. And uh, what else do I do Carrie? I don't know. I've got my hands in a lot of different pots, a lot of freelance things and
Kim Rittberg (04:09):
So many pots, so many hands,
Ashley Hearon-Smith (04:10):
So many pots, only two hands. Um, and mom.
Kim Rittberg (04:15):
All right. So on this podcast we focus on non-traditional nine to five. I wanna ask you, you guys do so many interesting things. Did you ever have a sort of quote unquote air quotes nine to five job?
Ashley Hearon-Smith (04:26):
I mean, do you count television production as a nine to five then? Yeah, I worked in, uh, in live daytime television for the first, I mean, five years of my career. I worked at, uh, Martha, even before that I was at, who wants to be a millionaire, uh, the Martha Stewart show and Wendy Williams,
Kim Rittberg (04:47):
I have not had a traditional nine to five ever. What was your hand in your swipe card moment that made you say I'm not gonna work nine to five again, I wanna find something else.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (04:57):
So I ended up, I was at Martha for four years. I went to Wendy and it was, uh, borderline abusive, the corporate culture. Um, I was all of about 24, 25 years old. And, um, you know, we went to work scared a lot of days I would get calls at 2:00 AM, from Nicki Mina's, uh, manager, screaming at me, asked something and he'd be like, what are you doing? And I'm like, firstly, we've never met. Secondly, I'm sleeping because I have to be in the office at five 30 in the morning for loading for your performance. What do you mean? What am I doing? And it, it got to the point where I had gained like 20 pounds. I was eating all my feelings and I was just depressed. I would like go to dinner with my parents and cry about my job. I was scared all the time and it just, wasn't what I wanted. And I knew that I had this other, this other calling creative pursuit that I always wanted to go after. And you know, that really got rid of my fear of rejection and I started to pursue things on my own terms.
Kim Rittberg (06:07):
And so then when you, when you decided you would stop working in TV, was it, did you have clarity? Do, would you feel confident about it? Were you scared?
Ashley Hearon-Smith (06:16):
Okay, so leaving really launched me creating my own work. And the first big project I took on was I, um, self produced pizza man, which is a play that I always liked. And, uh, I basically, I put it on, I got the financing for it. I got all the licenses for it. I got a crew, I got actors. I was able to pay people. It was one weekend. Uh, but it was a play I always wanted to do. And I thought the part was perfect for me. And I had auditioned and never got it. And I was like, well, it I'm just gonna, can I curse on your show?
Kim Rittberg (06:50):
You can now. Okay,
Ashley Hearon-Smith (06:51):
Well, I won't go for it. Um, I just decided, this is it. This is where I'm gonna, what I'm gonna do going forward is just make the roles that I want and figure out a way to do them because I'm, you know, I didn't get into this to be the bikini chick.
Kim Rittberg (07:07):
That is so impressive, by the way I, I, something where you're like, I'm gonna make this happen. It doesn't exist. It will exist. And you believed in it and you believed in yourself, Bravo that's. So that's really cool. And that's inspirational. I think that's
Ashley Hearon-Smith (07:22):
Awesome. Thank you.
Kim Rittberg (07:23):
I F Ashley, how her week is balanced with work and caregiving.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (07:28):
I'm still in a position where my husband is the primary breadwinner in our household. And so I feel a certain responsibility that honestly I've put on myself to take care of our house because he has so much on his plate that I'm trying to take that off of take that off of him. So laundry, um, you know, making meals, stuff like that. And he's here most of the time, he works from home as well, so he can help with a lot of things. But I would really say that I like take on a majority of that. And, um, it's a struggle not to mention every single moment that I'm constantly wondering about my son and what I'm doing to him up.
Kim Rittberg (08:10):
There's cursing again.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (08:11):
I'm sorry, by
Kim Rittberg (08:12):
The, by the way, this, this is one thing I will jump in there. I say my daughter is a feeler. Like she feels everything so deeply. And I think so, does he? I think I'm doing my very best. I think I'm a really good mom, but you know what? She's gonna be on that therapist couch in 20 years, no matter what. So I try not to overthink it. I'm like, listen, my dad is happening. Listen, my dad was a therapist. And so I was born on that couch. So lemme just tell you,
Ashley Hearon-Smith (08:35):
And I gotta say, like I constantly, I, I, you know, I go to therapy and I cry about how my parents love me too much and we didn't have, we like, I really do. I'm like, we, we, we were just so close. I have a hard time making decisions on my own. So it's like, no matter what you do, your kid is gonna end up on the therapist couch.
Kim Rittberg (08:54):
Your therapist is like making a hysterical web series about you. 100, I too much. <laugh>. I hope she call it first world problems. If you see me being pushed closer to my microphone it's cuz my sick three year old is literally in between me and the back of my chair. Just snuggling, cuz she's gotta be close to me like a baby koala. So if you see me doing this it's I don't have like some sort of seizure condition. It's just my kid pressing up against it. At least not currently, not currently. Correct. I'm always supportive of a snuggle. Um, Carrie, tell me, tell me about you. So what does your work week look like? The different things you're doing now and how do you structure that? It's flux as of like three days ago. Um, but uh, I used to teach a lot of online yoga, um, and I just decided to take a small pause.
Kim Rittberg (09:39):
Uh, I firmly believe again, I'm a little hippy dippy. I firmly believe that you need to get really quiet to see. Uh, I don't know if you've ever read like big magic, uh, that book, but one of my favorite books, it's kind of about, um, also to catch the big fish by, uh, David Lynch. I believe that there is like a current of creativity that runs in the universe and that some people are really more receptive to that than others. And it's like this antenna and you can either open it or close it. I don't think you actually have an antenna. I'm not crazy. I'm just saying that there's these, this wave of, of, of creative energy that's out there and if you're not quiet enough or still enough, you're not gonna hear it. You're not going to have the antenna. And so I decided to step away from teaching, um, so much yoga for a little bit because I noticed that there's this kind of frenetic, creative energy around Ashley and I in the universe right now.
Kim Rittberg (10:33):
And I wanna be quiet enough to know what that is and do it. So, but my day was looking like, um, two very early mornings a week I would teach early yoga and two late night I would teach yoga. Um, my husband is the primary breadwinner and he works from home. Uh, the rest was taking care of Luna and producing the podcast and, and editing and, and writing and helping produce the podcast with Ashley. Um, I also am in real estate school. I also, um, uh, am a working at teaching artist as an actor where I take like four weeks stints, um, teaching as a acting teaching artist at, at uh, schools and uh, universities, companies and universities. Yeah. Um, so that's kind of what it looks like. Although, like I said recently, I just took a little breaks, uh, from teaching. I don't know how long, but from teaching the yoga and one of my breaking points was crying in the bathroom more times than not, uh, working as, uh, in finance as a, uh, executive assistant.
Kim Rittberg (11:40):
Uh, I think I was 10th and they kept wanting to hire, hire me permanently. And I kept saying no, which also seems crazy, cuz that was a lot of money. I turned down, but whatever we do, what we need to do. And I just was people thought I had like, like IBS, which I do, but that's not why I was in the bathroom. I was just in there crying a lot. And I was like, I just, so Carrie, was that your only nine to five? Was that yeah, was a, yeah, I was a working actor right outta the gate, right outta school. And so I, uh, I'm Irish, poor Irish, Catholic grown up and Italian. So I also was like waitressing while I was doing, I was on a, I was on a soap opera and I was also waiting tables because I just was like, when is the next shoe gonna drop?
Kim Rittberg (12:24):
Um, I've always been that girl, even when it's rain and money, I'm like, yes, stuck. Get it. I'm worried about it's skull gonna go away. I, I am the exact same. First of all, girl, I look really good in a bow tie. I was a cater waiter. <laugh> yeah. Yeah. I also, we have so much at the end, we're gonna talk about crazy jobs we had or maybe we're gonna talk about now that now I don't know, but I was a cater waiter. I was also, I have a bartending license, which I mostly just used to serve gin and tonics and beer. Yes. Yes. And then I, at the very, very beginning of the digital era, maybe like AOL era, I'm so old, uh, a friend was working in mark marketing for music and Hansen was having a comeback and she was like, they'll pay you $20 for every person that you can encourage to go to their website.
Kim Rittberg (13:12):
I'm like, how are they gonna track it? She's like, you just take a screenshot and like send it to them. I swear to God, I saved up enough money to backpack through Europe, by jazz. I stayed in my parents' basement and I was like, Hey, you like music. Have you heard of Hanson? Oh, I see you like to play lacrosse. You know, like to play lacrosse, Hanson, you like making with, you know, who loves to cookies, Hanson. Anyway, I was, you have luxurious locks. You know who else does Hampton? I I'm such a squirrel with my acorns that I was like, make money, make money might go away. Somebody might take your money before it's in your bank account. Take it. Make more. So I worked work. I work for the Def I worked two weeks for the defunct, Britney Spears, restaurant Nyla. I oh, we remember that.
Kim Rittberg (13:54):
I'm actually kinda jealous of that. I'm a little jealous of that. I went to, I mean, I was working the opening. I also, uh, one time I used to do promotions a lot. I was a red bull shop girl. I was part of a red, I was a red bull marketing rep in comedy. Me too. Oh my God. I was, I did the lower east side. I did the lower east side, uh, that we evidently we were very pop. We, we did a good job cuz now it's a big deal. <laugh> so we were Carrie, were you on, did you go on their ski trip? They invited the college marketing. No, cause I wasn't college. I was an adult working out of a, uh, storage unit in the lower east side. It was less glamorous. Uh, no. Um, I was a celebrity nanny. I also used to do a lot of promotions and I one time for multiple days in a row dressed up like a cow, walked through Bryant park, giving people Coffeemate out of my utters. You know what though? My kit and Coffeemate flavored Coffeemate would come out and I was fired from that job because it, I had to start it so early in the morning that the contacts would not go in my eyes and they told me a cow wouldn't wear glasses cuz I wore my glasses. Neat.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (14:58):
So they saw your face?
Kim Rittberg (15:01):
Yes. My face was,
Ashley Hearon-Smith (15:01):
Oh I would've only done that if my face was covered
Kim Rittberg (15:04):
And they told me a cow didn't wear glasses and I said a cow doesn't walk on two feet, INE squeaking. squeeZ squeezing coffee mate. Out of their teeths either. I wait. Did people come over to you? Yes I with a mug and collect coffee mate from your couch eat. Yes. Not a mug from a, probably a polyurethane cup of some sort that we were giving out. We had free coffee and then I would come over. I'd be like Hazel, Nutella. And then I'd be like, and I would say ly delicious.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (15:36):
<laugh>
Kim Rittberg (15:37):
I literally actually I have pictures
Ashley Hearon-Smith (15:39):
Of this. I can't, I can't top that.
Kim Rittberg (15:41):
And I was fired cause I wore glasses
Ashley Hearon-Smith (15:43):
<laugh> which
Kim Rittberg (15:44):
I, because so she's gonna, Carrie's gonna retroactively Sue coffee made from like 15 years ago for being blind from, from their utters. I need a brain moment to collect my thoughts from the story <laugh> okay. I'm gonna, that was a real low. I called my mom. I was like, I was just fired. I also worked at the, I worked for, for like three weeks at the Meow mix house, which is a restaurant New York where you could bring your cat. It was a cat restaurant. And I was, I was, I worked at the cat restaurant where people and cats ate together, which we got closed down by the health, by the house code violation. Wonder why? And I did get to walk earth a kit down the cat red carpet cuz she was our celebrity guest.
Ashley Hearon-Smith(16:32):
One time bill Clinton, president bill former president bill Clinton came on the Martha Stewart show and I am doing a walkthrough with secret service right now. I had to walk through every, the building, show them all the different entrances, whatever. So president Clinton shows up late and this is a live show, not live to tape. This is a live episode and he is late for it. And I have my walkie on and his car is in the loading dock, which no one ever got to pull into the loading dock. But literally the former president does cuz he's the former president and I'm sitting there talking to secret service and I'm like, hi, his segment is in 30 seconds. Like we need to get upstairs 30.
Kim Rittberg (17:14):
Oh my God. I just had that feeling like when you might have to poop. Yes. And it's it's making you sweat. Yeah. You just saying that just made me have like a poop sweat
Ashley Hearon-Smith (17:20):
O I'm like there's 30 seconds. I'm the, the control room is on my walkie saying like Ashley, what is happening? What is happening? So finally I get him up there and my boss to save her ass and my ass said Ashley was knocking on the president's limousine door, telling him we've got to go Mr. President. And I was like, I hope you know, that's not how that went. <laugh> I, I wouldn't say
Kim Rittberg (17:49):
I love that woman. She's
Ashley Hearon-Smith (17:51):
Thank God. I hope
Kim Rittberg (17:51):
You sent her Christmas cards and presents every single
Ashley Hearon-Smith (17:53):
Year. No I don't. She was only my boss for one year, but she was wonderful. She was an older Southern lady and I loved her. Um, but yeah, that was, that was something, just the pressure of this entire show. And I was like, I was the gatekeeper at that moment with somebody who was formally the most powerful man in the world. <laugh> like, how do you handle that at 20
Kim Rittberg (18:16):
Years old? Growing up Ashley's career. Mr. Clin. Ken. Yeah. But that's actually one of, I think that's a good point because I think the idea is even if you don't work in TV, the thing about TV that's relatable to everyone is you're not in control. No, because when you have to book guests or you have to track people or talent or guests or actors, there's so much out of your own control. And I think that that's really hard because it's still your fault. Even when
Ashley Hearon-Smith (18:37):
You're not in control, even though it's totally not your fault. It is your fault.
Kim Rittberg (18:40):
It's always your fault. Yes. It's always your fault. Yeah. <laugh>
Ashley Hearon-Smith (18:43):
100%.
Kim Rittberg (18:44):
What's the best and worst parts of working for yourself?
Ashley Hearon-Smith (18:48):
Uh, well I would say you never get a sick day. My husband's not here. He doesn't get home till eight o'clock at night. He leaves at nine. What the hell do I do? There's everyone else is at work. Who's around me. No one can help me. And I'm so sick. I can't function. What do I do? Um, and you know, as they get older, it gets worse because then they need more attention and they need to run around. And like, you know, that I think is one of the, the worst things. One of the best things for me is I'm really happy. I'm present for his childhood. I knew I only wanted the one. Um, and I wanted to experience all the things, even the, the hard stuff that isn't so pleasant, I wanted to experience it.
Kim Rittberg (19:37):
And what about you, Carrie? Uh, the best and worst things about working for yourself? Uh, lemme tell you this. I don't work well with others. <laugh>
Ashley Hearon-Smith (19:44):
I don't
Kim Rittberg (19:44):
Me neither. I never have. I never have worked well with others. I'm an only child. I am bossy. I have opinions. I always have my goal. When asked when I was nine years old, what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said eccentric. Uh, and I am living it, uh, as we speak <laugh> and my, my baby daddy is the same way. He also does not work for well for others. And neither of us have ever really worked for people. And when we do it, doesn't go well. So the number one thing about working for myself is I don't work well with others. The only person I work well with is myself and strangely Ashley. Um, the bad news is I am my own boss and so it never gets shut down. It never gets shut down. I last night wrote a script for tomorrow at 10:00 PM. I, I also just have always been this way. And so I've never really known a weekend. I just work when inspiration strikes and don't when it doesn't. Um, and it leads to me, usually working insanely hard for a long period of time and then doing nothing but eating and drinking for the rest of it.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (20:50):
See, but, and this is where Carrie and I are different because I refuse to work through a weekend. I have like stuck with that nine to five mentality of like, I do not wanna work on a weekend. I do not wanna have to have any obligations now that my son is getting older and there's things like birthday parties, I resent it. I want my weekend to recharge and rejuvenate. And I don't wanna, like work is not happening.
Kim Rittberg (21:15):
My first job was on a soap opera and the hours were grueling, but you own, but you had time a lot of time off. Right. And so I think that that changed the way that my brain works. Or like, like when you do a play it's intense for a very long period of time. And then you don't work for two months. Yeah. And so my life has always been like that. Like you're gonna work literally 22 hours a day until they legally, the union says you need to give them off legally. So they don't die. Which is changed. When, when I was acting, it was more time that you were legally allowed to work by the union and then you won't work for three months and you can do whatever the hell you want. And so my life, oh my God, my kid is taking me off this chair.
Kim Rittberg (21:58):
So my life is modeled against that still I'm, I'm realizing that I have similarities with both of you cuz Carrie I'm originally came from creative world, a lot of art classes as a kid. And so when creativity strikes, like I would start a painting at like eight or nine at night and I would work till one in the morning, even when I was young and inappropriately young to be staying awake till one in the morning. But as an adult, I've had to shift myself to, you know, the expectations of the companies you work at and all of that. So I agree with both of you in terms of forcing myself to be balanced. Like if I get a fun idea, I'm excited about I wanna work on it then, but that might be five o'clock in, at, in the afternoon where the I'm about to play with the kids and do dinner and all that stuff.
Kim Rittberg (22:40):
So controlling for what my creative brain part wants to do. But then also what mom COO in the household professional Kim needs to do. So balancing that calendar, like these are the task I have to do, but these are the deep work I want to do. This is the creativity and it just struck me at nine o'clock at night. So balancing that is hard. I can't tell you how many times a week I'm in vested in a project. And I'm like, really not to sound like a total D bag, but I'm like vibing on this project. I'm like, I could finish this. I can't wait. And I'm like, well, crap, it's 11:00 PM. And my kid's gonna get up at six. I guess I gotta shut this down. And that, that has been the biggest adjustment because I just work until it's done or I, or the, or the juices run out of my brain and already like it's it's Tuesday.
Kim Rittberg (23:31):
And yesterday I thought that three times I was like, I could just, if I could just finish this, it would be great because I'm really feeling inspired and it just didn't happen. My mom shout out to my mom who comes and stays with us or takes Luna for long periods of time so that I can still do that because I feel like when you were talking, we, we just guys for the listeners at home, we just interviewed her for our podcast. And this is something that you talked about filling up your own cup. I, I feel like as an artist and as a creative person, I need to still do that to be able to get up when I want and stay as late as I want every once in a while. And thank God for my mom who also recognizes, has seen when that when, when I'm so frustrated from not being able to do that, how that affects me psychologically and personally that she will take my kids so that I can still be like, I'm gonna stay up till four in the morning, creating this art and then sleep however, late or whatever.
Kim Rittberg (24:27):
So I'm really thankful for my mom who, who is available to do that when someone asks you that pervasive question in America and specifically New York, but definitely America, what do you do?
Ashley Hearon-Smith (24:37):
I actually hate that question. Uh, it, I get like a little sense of like panic every time somebody asks, because I'm not, I'm never really sure what to say. Right. You know, when you do so many different things, uh, I, the currently what I'm leading with is I'm an on camera and podcast, host and producer, and that's kind of like the general thing, and then I'll go into it. But it's like to be like, and a talent Booker. And I do some acting and I do this and I do like, nobody's got the time for that. And most people aren't, a lot of people are not in this creative field. So like even just
Kim Rittberg (25:16):
Explaining it's too much for them. It's too much for them
Ashley Hearon-Smith (25:19):
Just explaining that first part is too much for people. So can you imagine telling them all the other shit it's like, no,
Kim Rittberg (25:25):
We've are you, do you not? Do you not have babysitters? You are the sole I'm school. Picker-upper all of that stuff. So you don't have the sitter.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (25:33):
I don't have any sitters. Uh, I don't have any family that lives nearby. My husband and I, my husband is still primarily at home. Um, so in the mornings he always takes our son to school, even if he has to go into the office and then we switch off, go picking him up at school end time because you know, whoever's available. Whoever's not in a meeting
Kim Rittberg (25:56):
And Carrie, when, what, how do you answer the, what do you do question? So we've already established that I'm a little bit of an asshole. So usually I say, what do I not do? I'm doing great. Thank you for asking. <laugh> because it's a, a pet peeve from being an actor. When actors would say, what are, instead of saying, how, what am I seen
Ashley Hearon-Smith (26:15):
You in?
Kim Rittberg (26:16):
What are you doing? And I'd be like, what I'm doing is trying to be happy because I was always a yoga teacher mentality. So I would always be like, I actually wanna know like how your grandmother is doing. I would rather know that than what N C I S episode that I can see you on. I don't actually care. <laugh> so usually I say, what do I not do? I'm doing great. Thank you. Uh, but if then pressed and they're like, no, what do you do for a living? I'll say, uh, I'm a podcaster and yoga teacher. Because again, it's just, just, I don't really like to bring up that. I used to be an actor, unless it, unless it suits me because I just don't. I hate being as an actor, you're only as good as your last job. And I think that devalues people's existence. And it's part of the reason why I decided to stop, uh, doing as much acting because I just don't view myself as, as good as my last job. How is your work life balance? And are you happy?
Ashley Hearon-Smith (27:11):
Um, yes, I am happy truly. I am, I am quite happy. And I think moments where I'm not happy are 100%, uh self-imposed it's comparing myself to where I thought I would be or to other people or to other, other people's successes. Um, but that's all self-imposed stuff. Like I feel creatively fulfilled in my life. Um, I feel personally fulfilled in my life. So yeah.
Kim Rittberg (27:45):
How is your work life balance?
Ashley Hearon-Smith (27:46):
Once I make dinner, unless it's something that is like so pressing and an emergency and needs to get done, that's it that's time for my husband and my child and my dog. And we sit on the couch and we watch TV. Are we talk or we hang out like Carrie, how
Kim Rittberg (28:03):
Is your work life balance? And are you happy? I'm gonna answer the happiness question first. Um, it's a mixed bag for me. Uh, I really feel like when I had my daughter, a lot of, uh, this has more to do with my interpersonal relationships. So, uh, I didn't move in with my boyfriend until I was 38 weeks pregnant. Um, and then we moved in together and that's the only person I've ever lived with. My life really, really changed in a lot of different ways. I moved in with a man for the first time living together, had a baby pandemic hit. And so for me, uh, I'm dealing with the fact that, um, I went from someone who has, has supported herself for 38 years as a hustler, living alone in New York, which anyone who's listening that is not from New York. It's a lot of work to live by yourself in a nice neighborhood in New York.
Kim Rittberg (29:00):
And I did that all by myself for 20 plus years, which is a huge accomplishment that I'm very proud of, but then having a baby and becoming someone who makes pretty much zero Delores and your partner is the sole breadwinner. And that has taken a real toll on my happiness. And I've done a lot of work in therapy. Can I be okay with that? The answer is no, I cannot be okay with it. And, uh, I'm not ashamed to say that I'm just not that kind of person. I need to make enough money on my own because it, my self worth is really, uh, wrapped up in that. And I've tried to have it not be, but that's not the case. My self worth is very much wrapped up in being an independent woman. Um, so my I'm working on finding ways to have more money coming in, um, because montage, we make money, but it's mostly put back into montage because there's a lot of creative endeavors, anything that we make we wanna put back in, into scaling up.
Kim Rittberg (30:09):
And so I need to have some other revenue streams coming in, um, where I have money. So I can feel a sense of pride, um, and self worth in the work that I do. But by the way, I wanna say thank you for being so honest, because I think that one of the most important things is when people listeners can hear other people's honest assessments of their circumstances, their situations, the things that are happening in your brain, cuz all people see on social media is like, oh, like everyone's doing so great. Everything's so happy and amazing. And the truth is there's a lot of conversations happening in our brains, in our families, with our therapists that people don't hear and see. So thank you for being honest about that, that I have found, you know, when I left my big job, good title, great money to work for myself.
Kim Rittberg (30:57):
I'm like, oh my God. Then what, like what does this mean for me? And, and what if I don't earn the money and what if I don't have the title? And it's a process, it's a process of just figuring out what you need for yourself, not for society and not for other people's judgment, but to make yourself feel happy and content and, and fulfilled. Yeah. I'm learning kind of the hard way, uh, that there are certain things about my self-confidence that are intrinsically wrapped up in things. And a again, I tried to change it, but instead I'm just trying to embrace that there are things wrapped up in my self worth that are material. Some are material that I, that I didn't realize and that I just need to find a way to, uh, appease all of those pieces of self. And so that's what I, you know, if I wanna spend $97 at Sephora, I don't wanna ask anybody. I just wanna spend $97 at Sephora, you know, like let a girl live. So I'm, I'm working on that and work life balance. It's, it's been better and it's been worse. I don't feel, uh, I feel like my, my, my partner, my baby daddy would say the work life balance is not good because he's the one that gets the least amount of my time. So my work and my kid get the most and he gets the least, so it's medium.
Kim Rittberg (32:14):
Um, that was real talk. That was such a beautiful, I know I'm like you just gave me so much beautiful content that I'm like, wow, I wanna pause and process that beautiful content. Do you have either advice for other moms out there or things you wish you had known earlier? So I would just say, don't be afraid to ask for things on your social networks, the amount of things I have found and resources I've gotten just from simply saying, Hey guys, I'm struggling with this thing who can help. That's something that since I've become a mom, I'm just like, let's just ask for the things we want. Let's not veil it, pretend we don't need it, whatever. And we just so many good things to have happened. Just remind me like, Hey guys, this is what I'm struggling with. Universe helped me. Um, so I would just say like, forget about feeling like you, you have to have it all together. Use your resources, use social media to your benefit, put it out there. Uh, the community, especially the mom community is really helpful in helping you in all those days. It's
Ashley Hearon-Smith (33:16):
How we got connected to Kim.
Kim Rittberg (33:19):
Yes, that is so true. I'm like, this is so great. I'm, I'm just like loving this,
Ashley Hearon-Smith (33:23):
Um, find your moment of joy. It sounds really cheesy and like some really lame tagline for something. But, um, I discovered this in my like darkest time where I was just really depressed. And if I could just find one moment in that day, that was pure joy, whatever it was, it could be, you know, going for a walk, it could be buying something. It could be a happy Mo a good laugh with a friend or something. Um, and I feel like that's kind of inspired everything in my life. Like I pursue what I pursue because it makes me happy. It creatively fulfills me. And I realize that above everything else being creatively fulfilled is my empowering place where I feel my best. And you know, kind of to what Carrie was saying before about wanting to make the amount of money and feeling a certain way.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (34:31):
I thought I was feeling that and I, I even went to my therapist and I was talking about it and she goes, but why do you feel this? Like, is your husband telling you, you need to make more money? And I'm like, no, no, actually he has nothing to say about it. It's just, I'm putting that on myself because I feel like my esteem and, and all these other things, and this is, has nothing to do with what Carrie said. This is just me as myself. And she said, well, why do you do what you do? And I said, cuz it fulfills me the amount of work I've done in my life where I am not creatively fulfilled, where I don't feel like that, that part of my brain that's sparking and going and coming up with ideas and excites me when I really, you know, stumble upon something. That's what fulfills me. And um, for other people it could be something completely different. So I really just think, just find that moment of joy, find that thing that makes you happy.
Kim Rittberg (35:28):
And I love that. You said that cuz Carrie knows that find that joy sponsored by almond joy.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (35:32):
<laugh>
Kim Rittberg (35:33):
<laugh>, it's a cow, but
Ashley Hearon-Smith (35:36):
Instead an Allman, joy comes out the butthole. Do you follow?
Kim Rittberg (35:41):
I just wanna be clear that this podcast is totally open to sponsorship by almond joy or other competitive candies
Ashley Hearon-Smith (35:47):
Or any other joy base named product. Anything really? Joy
Kim Rittberg (35:51):
Behar, joy Behar.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (35:53):
Oh, perfect. Joy. Behar. Reach out. Yeah. Joy Behar. Do the on the
Kim Rittberg (35:57):
<laugh> honestly I really had so much fun with you guys. Thank you for being so honest and funny and we're gonna all be best friends. Kim Tage ex mom, Tage forever.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (36:07):
Yeah. I would love that.
Kim Rittberg (36:10):
I'd love that. Yes.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (36:11):
Obviously there will be wine. Do you drink?
Kim Rittberg (36:15):
I mean, the only reason I'm smiling is because I drink and I go to therapy.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (36:18):
Okay, good. That, that you're our kinda girl. Then that's all we
Kim Rittberg (36:21):
Need. Like what's your secret? What's your secret? I'm like Monte and Fran. My therapist.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (36:27):
We, your Fran
Kim Rittberg (36:29):
Do we have the same? We have the same therapist. We need to hang up this call and figure out if we have the same person.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (36:34):
No, wait, what's the last name
Kim Rittberg (36:36):
Who starts with the C?
Ashley Hearon-Smith (36:38):
Oh, okay. I was like, wouldn't that be the craziest shit. If you guys both went to the same, Fran, Fran is a third character on our podcast and I've never even met the woman.
Kim Rittberg (36:47):
I feel like
Ashley Hearon-Smith (36:50):
<laugh>,
Kim Rittberg (36:50):
I have also referred so many, you know, she would be like, I can, you know, I can never discuss client matters, but thank you for the referral. That's all she says. I said, thank you to sum up the interview, uh, carried a job where she had utters in times square and people poured her milk into their coffee. Um, I used to earn money, encouraging people to listen to Hansen. Mm-hmm <affirmative> that's true. <laugh> what is your reader? Weirdest job, please, please, please DM me. Send, send me an email. I really wanna hear your weirdest job. I will definitely read them out on the show. I promise I really need a laugh. Um, Ashley and Carrie also talked about how they struggled with having their self worth tied to their earnings. And we'll have more on the financial part in a moment. And don't forget to listen to montage podcast and you could follow them as humans like individual humans as well. Carrie Satara and Ashley here in Smith. And that'll all be linked out in the show notes.
Kim Rittberg (37:48):
We talked a little bit earlier with Carrie and Ashley of momtourage about how your self worth can be tied to your income. I wanna refer you all to the episode from July 13th, with Maha Rouge of mother untitled and Dr. Lisa, because it goes into this a lot. The episode is titled, wanna quit your job to be a stay-at-home mom or work less. The episode goes in depth about downshifting your career or having a career transition. And then Dr. Lisa Damour has tips on how to feel comfortable mentally while you're in a transitional phase. So if you are, if that part of the conversation really piqued your interest, made sure to listen to that episode, it's super, super helpful. And I also wanted to jump in with some money tips with Bobby rebel. She had a career change herself. She was a global business anchor at Thompson Reuters, and now she's a certified financial planner podcast, host of money tips for financial grownups and an author. Her newest book is launching financial grownups and she has some great tips. Bobby, thank you so much for joining us. Can you give me your top three to five tips for entrepreneurs?
Ashley Hearon-Smith (38:52):
Oh my goodness. Okay. So the first thing I would say is figure out your priorities is your priority first and foremost. And you gotta be really honest with this because society puts pressure on us to give certain answers. Is it I'm gonna work around my kid's schedule and work backwards from there? Or am I going to find out where the money is and then figure out how I'm gonna get the logistics done with my family? So number one, know what your actual goal is, and really be honest with that because I can tell you, I have not always been honest with myself about that. Then do an assessment like a self audit, and maybe you get a third party to come in about what you're actually good at that people will pay for. And this is something you talk about Kim, that people will pay for.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (39:32):
If your goal again is to get paid. Some of PE, some of us there's phases and seasons in your life, when you're just trying to keep up. There was a time where I just was making the same money as it cost to run my life. I was break even in my career, but I needed to be break even because I needed a placeholder job and I called it a placeholder job, nothing wrong with that. Know where you are. And if you're at a place where your number one goal is revenue, figure out from other people, what you have that people will pay for. And then the number three thing I would say is really look at the marketplace and where money is going. So right now, if I was advising somebody that wanted to only work when their kids were napping, total control over their hours, I would say, can you take courses and become an SEO expert where the SEO is so hot right now, people will pay.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (40:22):
If you are really good at SEO search engine optimization, that is a great job. If you're a stay home mom and you wanna work during nap time, because it doesn't matter when you do the two hours of optimizing somebody's SEO, you can do it when, you know, in the midnight, you know, feeding whatever or learn to be. We, we have joked about that. We have Squarespace pages and now we have other people that are sort of running them in the Mo for the most part, a lot of people wanna outsource building a website, become a square space, Squarespace person as super expert in some niche area that you know, people of every industry will want to pay for. So find something you have to like it. You don't have to always love it if it's for the money. And maybe that's my last tip. If it's for the money, like it, it does not have to be your passion actually. So now I have, this is gonna be the fifth one. I think we're up to five and this I have to credit woman named Terry Tio who wrote unfollow your passion, great tag, talk, unfollow your passion, Terry Tio. She says to me and this, I just love this. Everyone. She says, be careful when you follow your passion, because if you get paid for your passion, you might stop loving it. So think really carefully about whether what you're really passionate about is where you want your money to come from.
Kim Rittberg (41:37):
Okay. Should it remain, should it remain passion or should it be a business?
Ashley Hearon-Smith (41:40):
Yeah, if it becomes a business, you might have a really successful business. Okay? It's not that it won't be successful. It's that then it's business. And every time you do it, you may not be as passionate as you think you are because you have to do it. You know, we steal those pretty commercials of all the, you know, former wall street, people making cupcakes and they just love it cuz they always love cupcakes and sweets cuz who doesn't love sweets, but you know what? They're getting up at four in the morning or they're managing a staff, that's getting up at four in the morning. So your passion may not be as much fun when it is a business. So just think carefully about that one.
Kim Rittberg (42:13):
That's really smart. When I was in my twenties, I had a jewelry company and I loved it and I sold it in Bloomingdale's and Henry Bendle and I was really like excited and proud of myself and it was doing well, but I really more thought about it. I was like, if I move this from side hustle, business side hustle to full-time job, it's weekends in stores, it's a retail it's retail. I mean that, that's what people are buying. You have to go meet people, sell to them. I really thought about a big picture. Especially as a mom, I'm like, I'm not gonna do something that I have to be somewhere on the weekends when my kids are not in school. So anyway, that's a really good point. Um, my next question, financial tips specific to stay at home moms who are doing some work on the side, whether that's a side hustle or a small business or whatever,
Ashley Hearon-Smith (42:55):
First of all, treat it as a business. Just like you said, it is a business. So that doesn't mean just like taking 20 bucks cash from somebody. And thank you for buying my, my piece of jewelry. I mean, you wanna set it up whatever software makes sense for you, you know, whether it's QuickBooks or fresh books or whatever, I'm on fresh books. Um, and it's been fine, but I don't have any affiliation with them, but whatever software, you know, actually set up separate systems for your business, get a business credit card, set it up deliberately. I don't know what your business is, but it might be just, you know, a sole proprietor. It might make sense to do an LLC right now. My corporate name is BRK media, LLC. Why did I do that? Rather than financial growing up, you don't know where your business is going.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (43:36):
So I would pick a name for your business that doesn't have to be your brand necessarily. It might be. But if it's your brand, be very careful cuz you might live with this corporate structure, the name for a very long time. So pick something that can grow with you, but I would get professional advice, how to set it up and understand the tax laws or get someone that can help you understand them and how they will, will relate to what you're doing. One of the best things you can do if you're starting a business and you're not making money is at least get the tax benefits for your family. Huge. Um, I'm not a tax person, but I'm gonna say and double check this. I believe you can lose money for up to three years and still be considered a business. So it's three years.
Ashley Hearon-Smith (44:18):
You can lose money in your business. You can expense anything related to your business. If you're driving to go talk to Kim, to get advice about your business, that is something you can expense. If you hire Kim, you can expense that for your business, whatever it may be. Write down every expenses, track everything ideally, and whatever software works for you. There's so many apps for this track, the money you're spending, even if it's just, if you're having lunch with your friend and you guys talk about the business, that lunch. Yep. You better write that down. As of now tax laws keep changing on the meals. So just check that, but expense, everything to that business don't feel bad about losing money. Your partner will be very happy to take that tax deduction and you are contributing. Even if you lose money
Kim Rittberg (45:03):
Bobby's book launching financial grownups and her podcast will be linked out in the show notes. So check it out. I feel like the interview with montage went totally off the wall in the best way possible. So I'm just gonna double down. And a lot of times I like to end the show with a funny story or a sweet story, but usually funny. And so today I'm just doubling down on the totally insanity that was this episode and bringing you a story from Neha Ruch, the founder of mother untitled. Um, I, I don't even want to, I don't wanna ruin it for you. So just have a listen.
Neha Ruch (45:39):
My first job out of school was in social strategy. So imagine I was like the youngest person in the room by a country mile. I was on a account, uh, medical company that was treating Peroni's disease. It's um, it's like a crooked penis syndrome. I was the one tasked with creating, building a digital, like a user experience and a pitch for digital community for doctors treating crooked penis syndrome. So then they had me fly to Cancun with my boss to stand up in front of let's call it like 80 urologists, all men from like Ohio, um, with like, you know, that poster board that you would like print out sketches of what it's gonna look like that like massive poster board. So imagine like 22 year old me rolling in and you always like medical conferences are like always in these like very lavish resorts, always in the penthouse. So now I'm rolling into this penthouse of this like mixer of these urologists. And I now have to present about crooked syndrome in front of all of so fun, but awful.
Kim Rittberg (47:03):
You so much for listening to this show. I really honestly laughed so much and I hope you did too. Uh, please follow the show in apple or Spotify wherever you listen. Please leave a rating five stars and share with people who you think would appreciate it. And please, please, please. My request earlier, please DM me or send me an email about what your weirdest or worst job ever is. I'm a hundred percent gonna read it out on the show and you can always drop us feedback for the show. You go to www.kimrittberg.com. You scroll down to contacts and just drop us your feedback. Uh, you can also message me on Instagram at Kim Ritteberg. Um, you can also always leave feedback inside the podcast app review area. Isn't that handy. Anyway, this is mom's exit interview. I'm your host and executive producer Kim Berg. The show is produced by Henry street media. John Hallit is our editor and Ali Friedlander is our producer and publicist.
Heather Dubrow (48:12):
Hey everyone. This is Heather Dubrow. And do I have some exciting news for you? We are launching a variety of new episodes that are gonna have amazing special guests. Some of my close friends and so much more. It's gonna be really fun. And we're gonna get to hear from fans, new friends and get an inside look of my world. We're really excited for you to listen and join in for Heather dub Grow's world on podcast, fun episodes, drop on Thursdays and Fridays tune in on Spotify, apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.